


Lost Tears

by ElinaRoss



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Boys In Love, Brotherhood, Childhood Trauma, Dancing and Singing, Electricity, Family, Fire Powers, Force Healing, Friendship/Love, Fun, Gay, Head Injury, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury, Laughter, Love, M/M, Mood Power, Mood Swings, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Harassment, Showki, Singing, Super Strengh, Time Travel, powers, they all have powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 62,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElinaRoss/pseuds/ElinaRoss
Summary: "I can't sing anymore..." Kihyun's broken voice echoes in his skull.Shownu takes in his devastated state in before hugging the young man."Oh my God, Kihyun. What did he do to you...?"
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon & Yoo Kihyun, Im Changkyun | I.M & Yoo Kihyun, Lee Hoseok | Wonho & Yoo Kihyun, Lee Jooheon & Yoo Kihyun, Lee Minhyuk & Yoo Kihyun, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun, Yoo Kihyun/Everyone, Yoo Kihyun/Original Character(s)
Comments: 166
Kudos: 80
Collections: Yoo Kihyun-centric, mx shownu and Kihyun





	1. Powers

"And here you can finally find the living room where you'll be meeting with your group members in ten minutes. Do you have any further questions ?" the manager asks.

"No, it's fine. Everything is so great here, can't wait meeting my fellow group members !" Kihyun responds with a wide smile.

"Well, if everything's clear, I'll let you unpack and meet the others in ten minutes in the living room." the manager adds.

"Thank you for everything, Mr.Hyun." he greets him before going upstairs to his room.

Kihyun quietly unpacks his neatly folded cloths before being interrupted by a loud bang on his door.

He walks nervously to the door, careful not to be too noisy.

"Hum, yeah...?" Kihyun says, opening the door slightly.

"Are you Yoo Kihyun ?" a blonde super excited teen asks him.

"Y..Yes, it's me." he answers even more nervously.

Suddenly, the young man opens the door, enters without being invited and laughs like a crazy man.

"I'm Lee Minhyuk, your new favorite amazing roomate !" he exclaims with a big smile.

Kihyun feels a bit overwhelmed by so much energy but finds the young man quite funny and completely insane. He laughs a bit shyly before responding.

"Well, nice to meet you too, favorite amazing roomate. My name's Yoo Kihyun, please take care of me." he bows politely.

"No need to be so shy and polite, Kihyun ! We're all mates now, don't worry about reverences !" he laughs even more loudly.

Before Kihyun can answer anything, another crazy man enters the room.

"So this is your room, Minhyuk ? Doooope ! Mine is just next door !" a dimpled brown haired boy says cheerfully before high-fiving Minhyuk.

"Yeah, that's amazing Jooheon ! Here, meet my new roomate, Kihyun." Minhyuk adds, allowing the shy boy in Jooheon's view.

"Hey, bud ! How are you doing ? I'm Jooheon." he greets him with a wide smile.

"H..Hum, I'm fine, thank you. A little bit overwhelmed by all these changes but it's great to be here and the dorm is just amazing. I'm Kihyun by the way." he answers, bowing again.

" _Kihyun_ ? Are you by any chance our main vocalist ?" Jooheon asks with a curious look.

The two other boys turn towards Kihyun, giving him an amazed look.

"Well, hum... yeah ?" he replies even more shyly than before.

"That's great ! Our main vocalist is a really cute one, can't wait to hear your fabulous voice !" Minhyuk laughs.

"Yeah, I've heard great things about you ! Your vocals are quite famous around the company." Jooheon adds with honest enthousiasm.

Kihyun feels his cheeks getting red and really hot and tries to mumble something.

"Oh, thank you so much. What about you both, what's your speciality ?" he asks politely.

"I'm the main rapper and Minhyuk is mostly the visual type." Jooheon says with a little wink.

"Well, we should get going, guys. The others are all already downstairs." Minhyuk adds.

As they walk downstairs, Kihyun observes the two joking teenagers and already feels at ease around them. He knows that he'll grow pretty close to those two in a very near future and that fact alone reassures him.

When they arrive in the living room, they're met with four other young men, randomly seated in the room and the manager talking quietly to who, Kihyun assumes, must be their future leader.

"We're here !" Minhyuk says joyfully, sitting on a huge sofa.

"Well, now that you're all here, I'll let you get acquainted to each other. I'll give your leader, Shownu, the planning for the next days. It should be pretty light for the first few days since you don't know each other. See you tomorrow, boys !" the manager announces before heading off.

"Thank you Mr. Hyun." they all bow to their manager.

After that, they all stay in silence for a few embarrassing seconds.

"Nobody's gonna go first ? Okay, then I'll start ! Nice, to meet you all, I'm Lee Minhyuk ; singer, dancer and visual of MonstaX !" he says, getting up and shaking everybody's hand.

"I'm next !" Jooheon laughs.

" _What a funny pair_." Kihyun wonders with a little smile.

"Hi everybody, I'm Lee Jooheon and I will be the main rapper of MonstaX. Nice to meet you !" he almost yells with a big smile.

"Since we're all going in order, I guess it's my turn." a young man with an arm-cast stands up with a sigh.

"I'm Im Changkyun but you can all call me I.M. I'm also a rapper and apparently the maknae. Please take care of me." he says, bowing politely.

"What happened to your arm, Changkyun ?" Minhyuk asks.

"I just fell down the stairs at home, nothing major. It's not broken or anything, just need to lay low for a bit." he reassures his new friend with a warm smile.

Next, a muscular man with a great face gets up and bows too.

"Hello everybody, I'm Lee Hoseok. Everybody calls me Wonho though. I hope we'll get along." he says quietly.

" _Well, I didn't expect this fit boy to be so shy. That's great to know I'm not the only anxious one._ " Kihyun thinks.

After Wonho's presentation, all eyes turn towards Kihyun and he suddenly feels his heart going wild. He takes a deep breath and stands up.

"Nice to meet you all, I'm Yoo Kihyun ; your main vocalist. I'll be in your care." he bows nervously.

"Kihyun's a shy one, so don't push him too much." Minhyuk explains, smiling at his group members.

Kihyun eyes him and smiles, silently thanking him for standing up for him.

Then a ridiculously tall and thin top model gets up lazily.

"I'm Chae Hyungwon, nice to meet you. I'm pretty lazy, so don't be too hard on me." he says with a little smile.

Despite his bored attitude, Kihyun can immediately sense that this man is really big-hearted and probably observes a lot more than he seems to.

"And last but not least, I'm Son Hyunwoo ; your leader. You can all call me Shownu since it's my stage name. As the leader of this new band, I count on you to come to me if you face any difficulties or if you just need to talk. Thank you all for being here, fighting !" he cheers everybody up.

Kihyun can't believe his eyes. 

" _This is the prettiest man I've ever saw. He seems so kind and caring too. Gosh, stop it, Kihyun ! He's your leader and you've just met him !_ " he thinks to himself.

He has never felt something so strong for someone he had just met, well for anyone in fact.

After some relaxing quiet time, Kihyun heads to the kitchen to make the group's food.

"You're really like a mom, Kihyun." Wonho smiles at him.

"I'm just making food, not a big deal." he laughs back.

"Well, can I help with anything ?" Wonho asks kindly.

They spend some time in the kitchen, getting to know each other. Kihyun really gets along with this shy super muscular boy and quickly discovers his protective side.

"Ouch !" Kihyun suddenly jumps.

"Are you okay ?" Wonho asks worriedly.

"Yeah, just burned my finger. I'm fine, don't worry."

"No, no, no ! You have to take care of your body, even if it's just a burned finger. Come on, put it under cold water." 

Kihyun just does as he asks, smiling at the sudden attention. He's not used to small caring signs like that and really appreciates it. When the other members come in the kitchen, they all worry about him the same way Wonho did and it really warms his heart.

They eat, chat and laugh through the meal and Kihyun begins to feel like he's finally found some kind of family. Just thinking about his own family and childhood makes him sick to the core.

" _Don't think about them. Don't think about them._ " he convinces himself.

After a few minutes, he remembers he forgot something important and gets up, walking towards his room. When he comes back, Minhyuk looks at him with worried eyes.

"Everything okay, Kihyunie ?" 

" _Kihyunie ? That's the first time someone has called me like that..._ " Kihyun blushes in happiness.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to take my medication, I'd left it in our room." Kihyun answers with a little relaxed smile.

"Medication ?" Jooheon asks, also concerned.

"What do you need medication for, Kihyun ? Are you feeling sick ?" Hyungwon questions too.

"It's just heart medication, guys. No big deal." 

"What ?! What's wrong with your heart ?" it's Shownu's turn to worry.

"My heart beats at an irregular frequency and if I don't take my medication, it can suddenly go wild for no reason. I've been taking this medication for years, don't worry about it." Kihyun tries to reassure everybody.

"Well, that's not something we should take lightly. How many times a day do you need to take them?" Jooheon asks.

"Five times a day. One pill when I wake up, one when I go to sleep and also with each meal."

"Okay, so, everybody makes sure Kihyunie takes his medicine on time from now on." Minhyuk orders seriously.

"It's really not necessary, Minhyuk." 

"Shh. We're your teamates, Kihyun. We look after each other, period." Jooheon adds.

"What happens if you don't take your pills ?" Wonho asks then.

"Well, as long as I don't do anything tiring like dancing or running, I should be fine even if I don't take them. Singing is a bit too much too since my singing sessions are quite long and taxing." he says.

"Alright, we've got your back, mate." Hyungwon concludes.

A few days pass and the group is really united now. They spend a lot of time together and begin learning their first dances and singing parts. 

Kihyun's vocals amaze all the band and they often ask him to sing for them during the evening at the dorm. He doesn't feel nervous singing around them anymore and sits at the piano for quiet relaxed musical times almost every night.

One night, they all sit around the piano in circle and sing all together in a heart warming moment. At the end, they really feel great energy surrounding them.

Minhyuk suddenly jumps from his sit and tries to make them all come together for a group hug. When he does so, he pushes a big vase and everybody turn to it, expecting it to crash to the floor violently. But right before the vase can touch the ground, they hear Shownu.

"Careful !" he shouts, reaching for the furniture.

They all know he's way too far away but are absolutely dumb-founded as the expensive vase never touches the ground.

They all look at it in amazement, seeing that the vase is magically floating in the air. Nobody understands what's going on.

"Wh..What's happening ?" Jooheon asks, eyes as wide as the other's .

They all turn and look at Shownu, who's silently levitating the object a few inches over the floor. He lays the vase down calmly before looking back at them.

"Hum... I can explain." Shownu states, completely panicked.

"What the fuck, man ?! Did you just grab this vase using your mind ?!" Minhyuk says, compeltely amazed.

"Well... Kinda ?" Shownu replies nervously.

Nobody can believe their eyes and they don't talk for a few seconds, trying to register what just happened.

"Okay, I guess I should explain myself now..." Shownu tells them, asking them to come near him in a circle.

"So, I have those... powers. I can levitate things with my mind. I know you're probably completely freaked out by me right now, but please, don't tell the manager I can do that. He'd kick me out of the band and I..." but he's cut by Minhyuk.

"I also have a power." he states seriously.

Everybody turn to him, looking at him with wide eyes.

"See how you're all really tense and confused right now ? Well in a few seconds, you'll feel completely calm and serene." he adds with a little smile.Just as he predicted, all the members slowly relax and any tension is completely gone.

"How did you do that ?" Shownu asks.

"That's my power. I can change moods as I want within a group of people. Jooheon also have a power." he answers with a proud smile.

"You too, Jooheon ?" Shownu adds.

"Yeah, I can manipulate fire." he responds with a little laugh.

"Woah that's so badass !" Kihyun mumbles.

"I know, right ?"

"Well, maybe that means that..." Shownu begins.

"...We _all_ have powers ?" Minhyuk finishes his sentence, looking at the other members.

"Does anybody else have a power ?" Jooheon asks, interested.

The four other members slowly nod.

"I can time travel." Hyungwon says, completely relaxed.

"What ?! Say that again !" Jooheon exclaims.

"I don't use it, though. It's too dangerous." he explains.

"Right, I also have a power. I don't know if it's maybe because I work out but I have really powerful strengh." Wonho goes next.

"Do you have an exemple maybe ?" Minhyuk asks.

"Well, I once lifted a whole car to help a cat that was stuck underneath." he says innocently.

"You definitely have superstrengh, baby Hoseok." Jooheon laughs.

"What about you guys, what are your powers ?" Shownu asks.

"I can use electricity. I redirect the energy as I want. Really useful to hack into powerful computers." I.M says nonchalently.

"What about you, Kihyun ?" Minhyuk asks, curious.

"I...hum..." he mumbles.

"Don't worry, we're all in the same mess here. Nothing you say here will ever get out of this dorm." Shownu reassures him.

"I can heal people." Kihyun finally admits.

"Gosh, that's amazing !" Jooheon exclaims.

"Like, _anyone_ ?" Hyungwon asks.

"Yeah, any type of wound. It's a bit different with diseases but I'm at least able to take the pain away." he nods.

"Can you heal yourself as well ?" Minhyuk questions.

"No, this power sadly doesn't work on myself." Kihyun answers with a nervous smile.

"Could you show us ?" Wonho tries.

Kihyun then blushes, he didn't expect this.

"Well, okay, if you want..."

"Try on me. I hurt my arm, can't wait to get rid of this cast." I.M says seriously.

He approaches and Kihyun places his hands on his friend's arm. Heat radiates from them and I.M progressively feels his pain going away before feeling his arm completely healed.

Kihyun's hands stop glowing and he raises his head to look at the others reaction.

"Kihyun that's amazing !" Jooheon says in amazement.

"Well, thanks, man." Changkyun says, bored and quite ungratefully.

"That's completely insane... You're unbelievable." Hyungwon adds with a warm reassuring smile.

"So, now that we know we all have powers, what do we do about it ?" Minhyuk asks.

"We do _nothing_ , we keep it between us, use them from time to time when it's really necessary and we don't tell anyone." Shownu instructs.

They all get up, following their leader's recommandations.

"Alright, let's sleep on it and we'll talk about it again in the morning. Does anybody want to cook ? I'm hungry as fuck." Jooheon smiles.

"I can cook, Jooheon." Kihyun replies. 

But as soon as he tries to get up, he feels his vision tunneling. He falls back, almost fainting.

"Whoa, Kihyun ! Are you okay ? What's going on ?" Minhyuk grabs him before he can hurt himself and settles him down on the ground.

Kihyun can't hear anyone at first, his own heart pounding in his head. He feels like throwing up and he's really light-headed. He knows that any sudden move could make him pass out.

"Kihyun !" Jooheon kneels in front of his friends.

"Wonho, go get a wet clothe." Shownu asks him, worriedly joining the others on the floor.

Kihyun slowly opens his eyes, he feels so weak.

"Kihyunie, what's going on, are you okay ?" Minhyuk says affectionately.

"Did you eat enough during the last few days ?" Jooheon worries too.

"Maybe he exhausted himself." Hyungwon says, in the same concern.

"What if it's his heart ? What do we do ?" Jooheon adds.

"I'm okay, guys..." Kihyun whispers, trying to straighten himself in a seated position.

"You're clearly not, Kihyun. What's really happening ?" Shownu asks with authority.

"It's just...my power. It can really be body taxing. I n...need to use my own vital energy to heal someone and I guess h..healing Changkyun's arm was a little bit too sudden. It's been a long t..time since I've last used it." he explains weakly.

"Gosh, Kihyun. Why didn't you say anything before ?" Hyungwon says.

"I just wanted you to like and accept me... I thought that maybe healing Changkyun's arm..." but he's cut by Minhyuk.

"Kihyun ! Don't worry about us liking you, you're adorable ! I mean, there's not one bone in your little body that's not likable. Please don't put yourself at risk just to please us." he tells him seriously.

"Okay, I'm sorry..." Kihyun replies.

"No problem, man. Just please take care of yourself. You're as much a part of this band as we all are and even though we just met you, we all already care about your well-being, a lot." Jooheon adds.

Kihyun nods, feeling his energy slowly coming back.

Wonho runs back with soaked clothes.

"Gosh, you're helpless Hoseok." Hyungwon says jokingly.

"Don't bother, I'm already feeling better." Kihyun tries to reassure them with a little smile.

Shownu looks at the others and in a silent agreement picks Kihyun from the ground, bridal style.

"W..What are you doing... ?!" Kihyun asks, panicked.

"I'm bringing you to your room. Minhyuk, can you watch over him while we find something for him to eat ?" he asks his friend.

"Of course." 

Shownu brings him to his and Minhyuk's room and lays Kihyun's still weak body on his bed.

"Stay still and rest for a bit, Kihyun. Minhyuk will stay here with you until you feel better." Shownu smiles warmly.

"B..But what about dinner...? I have to cook..." he mumbles back.

"Don't worry about dinner, Kihyun. We'll take care of it." he smiles.

"Thank you, Shownu." Kihyun whispers with a deep blush.

"Of course, Ki." he winks before leaving.

When Minhyuk and Kihyun are alone, the healer suddenly grabs his arm in pain.

"Kihyun ?! What's wrong ?" Minhyuk asks in worry.

"It's...It's okay, I'm f...fine." Kihyun mumbles, hurting.

"Cut the bullshit, where are you hurting ?" Minhyuk questions with a friendly but authorative tone.

"M..My arm..." Kihyun gives in.

"Could it be... are you actually feeling Changkyun's injury in your own body ?" Minhyuk whispers.

"Yeah, that's the real disadvantage of my power. I don't actually take the pain away... I just _take_ the pain." he admits in shame.

"Kihyunie... You have to let the others know about that too. You can't just bear with it when one of us injures himself." Minhyuk almost begs.

"I'll be f...fine, Minhyuk. Don't worry..." he answers weakly.

"Stop it already, Kihyun ! We _will_ worry about you. Everybody really cares about you, Kihyunie. Don't push us away." Minhyuk replies.

Kihyun looks at his teary eyes and nods slowly.

"Okay, Min."

After half an hour, Kihyun feels way better and is able to get up. They walk downstairs with Minhyuk and join the others in the kitchen.

"Kihyun ! Are you feeling better ?" Wonhu worries.

"You're still really pale, maybe you should go back to bed." Shownu suggests.

"I'm fine now, guys. Thank you." he smiles warmly.

Changkyun stays silent, not really caring.

"Actually, Kihyun has something to tell you." Minhyuk presses the matter.

"Oh ? What is it, Ki ?" Hyungwon asks innocently.

"Hum, it's about my power. I didn't tell you everything." Kihyun blushes in shame.

He waits a few seconds before looking at them and speaking.

"The truth is that I don't really _heal_ injuries. In reality, I just take the injury in my own body and bear with its pain without being actually physically injured." he admits.

"Wha..." Jooheon whispers.

"Are you fucking kidding me ?!" Shownu says angrily.

He slaps his hand hard on the kitchen counter.

At that, Kihyun steps back, almost frightened by his sudden outburst. He's had really bad experiences with angry people and this sudden anger brings back old fears.

Everybody notices Kihyun's behavior and tries to comfort and support him.

"It's okay, Ki. Shownu's not really angry at you." Jooheon mumbles.

"Yes, I am !" the leader shouts.

Kihyun almost jumps at the tone of his voice. He starts shaking and bows before his leader can get even more angry.

"I..I'm really s..sorry, Hyungwoo. I should have t..told you everything before hand. I d...deeply apologize." Kihyun whispers.

Shownu suddenly takes in his trembling state and immediately calms down.

"It's okay, Kihyun. No need to be this afraid. I won't hurt you or anything you know." he answers reassuringly.

"I..I'm sorry." the healer mumbles back.

"Well, now I'm glad we know exactly what your power is about. We won't use it, under any circumstance." Shownu concludes seriously.

"But.."

"No buts, Kihyun. It hurts you and I won't let one of my group member suffer like this to help another one." he finishes.

Minhyuk sighs and uses his power to ease everybody's tense mind.

"Now, what did you cook for us ?" he smiles cheerfully.

Everybody starts eating instant ramen and Hyungwoon suddenly looks at Kihyun.

"Kihyunie, did you take your medicine ?" he asks worriedly.

"Oh, crap ! Forgot it in my room again, I'll be back in a few." Kihyun answers before standing up and walking towards his room.

As he enters the bedroom his shares with Minhyuk, his phone begins vibrating in his pocket. He picks it up without even looking at the number.

"Yoo Kihyun speaking." he answers tiredly.

" _Kihyun_ , nice hearing you again after all this time." the low voice says sensually.

Kihyun's blood freezes and he stops moving. He begins trembling really badly and his shaking lips are too weak to even try to say something.

"I didn't think you'd actually pick up, but I'm really glad you did. I really missed your little moaning voice." the man goes on.

Kihyun panics more and more.

"Now, enough with the small talk. Where in hell are you, Kihyun ? You really thought you could escape my reach like that ? What a foolish little slut." the man on the phone says angrily.

"I'll find you, Kihyun. And be ready because when I do, there'll be no turning back."

" _D..Dad..._ " he whispers.


	2. Nightmare

" _D..Dad..._ " he whispers.

"Glad you didn't forget about me, Kihyun. I'm sure you also didn't forget about how much fun we had together before you sent me to jail, you bitch !" his father yells the last part.

Kihyun startles and takes a few steps back as if this man was in the room, standing in front of him. His steps are more and more panicked before he finally bumps roughly on the closet. 

The boys downstairs hear the sound, wondering what's going on.

"Kihyun ? Everything okay there ?" Shownu asks.

When nobody answers, Minhyuk makes a joke.

"Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's just looking for his meds everywhere and can't find them because of my mess." he laughs.

"Someone's in trouble when he comes back." Jooheon winks at his friend and joins the laughs.

During this time, Kihyun's heart go wild and he grabs his chest painfully.

"H..How did you g..get this number...?" he mumbles weakly, tears streaming down his face in fear.

"Well, you know me, son. When I want to find something, I always do. Now back to the original issue ; I want you to come back home and I want you to come back NOW !" he shouts.

Kihyun jumps in fear, his mind screaming but his lips sealed. 

"I know you miss me too, Kihyun. You surely miss my body, my voice, my authority. Don't worry baby, you just have to come home and I'll take care of you again, like I always did." his father continues.

"Y..You never t..took care of me... You h..hurt me..." Kihyun weakly responds.

He lets his body limply fall against the closet and to the floor. He's now on his knees, crying and whimpering at his father's horrific words.

"Don't talk to me like that, Kihyun ! I'm your father and you'll do exactly what I tell you to do ! I don't fucking care if I hurt you or not. You're gonna come home and right now !" he instructs angrily.

"N..No... I don't w..want to go h..home..." Kihyun argues bravely even though he's breaking in the inside.

"You're already in deep shit, Kihyun. Don't make it worse. You know what's gonna happen when I finally find you ? You want to know exactly what I'm gonna do to you ? I'm gonna grab your pretty face, smash it against the wall and strip you naked before..." he goes on, describing the future torture he promises Kihyun.

The boy listens to all those atrocities, crying now so hard that he has to put his hand on his mouth to avoid being heard by his friends. He begins panicking and hyperventilating.

Suddenly, all the boys downstairs lift their head towards the bedrooms. They all look concerned.

"Something's wrong with Kihyun." Hyungwon states.

"Yeah, I feel it too." Shownu answers.

"Let's go."

They all run upstairs, sensing that something bad is happening to their main vocalist. When they arrive at the door, they knock gently ; knowing it probably won't be enough to get access to their friend.

"Kihyun ? Kihyun ! What's going on ?!" Minhyuk yells, banging at the door.

Kihyun muffles his sounds even more, clasping his hand on his crying face.

"Kihyun, I'm gonna break the door. Don't be afraid, it's just us." Shownu warns.

He gets ready and kicks the door open. As soon as they have access, they all run towards Kihyun's trembling body on the floor.

"Gosh, Kihyun... What's going on ?" Hyungwon whispers.

"Who's on the phone ? Is it this person who's making you cry ?!" Jooheon says, trying to grab the phone from Kihyun's shaking hand but the latter doesn't let him.

He looks at them, asking them to shut up and not to be heard on the phone.

He takes a litlle shaky breathe and finally adresses his dad again.

"I..I get it, d..dad... I'll come h...home." he mumbles before hanging up.

Kihyun doesn't look at his worried friends. He stares at the the floor and grabs his knees, huddling on himself.

He continues sobbing and whimpering, feeling disgusted by his father's words and ashamed that his friends witnessed his little break down.

Minhyuk slowly knees in front of him.

"Kihyunie... Who was on the phone...?" he whispers.

But the healer doesn't respond, just breaks down a little more.

Nobody dares to say anything. They don't understand what's going on but they feel it's really bad.

After a few minutes, Kihyun slowly begins to calm down. He wipes his tears away roughly.

"S..Sorry, guys." he mumbles with a deep blush.

"What's going on, Ki ? Was it your father on the phone ?" Jooheon asks nervously.

Kihyun just nods, his sobbing coming back at the mention of his dad.

"What did he want ?" Shownu tries worriedly.

"H..He wants m..me to come home..." Kihyun finally answers.

"To come home ? Does he not agree with you being here ?" Wonho asks.

"He doesn't _know_ I'm h..here..." he continues.

"You need parental agreement to come to the company, how can he not know you're here ?" Shownu says seriously.

Kihyun takes a deep breath before answering.

"He was in j..jail..."

They all give him wide eyes, wondering why his father could possibly be in prison.

"But then, maybe your mother signed the company papers ?" Shownu goes on.

Kihyun looks at him with hurt sorrowful eyes.

"My mother's _dead_ , Hyungoo. My grandma signed the paper and I had the company's consent because of my complicated familial situation." he replies coldly.

Shownu stops asking questions, really ashamed not to be aware of something that important about his group member.

"I'm sorry about your mom, Kihyun." Minhyuk adds gently.

Kihyun looks at him with sad warm eyes.

"It's okay, Min. It was a long time ago." he smiles a bit.

"Then why don't you tell your dad that you're here ? It's your life now, he should accept it." Wonho says.

Kihyun's smile disappear immediately.

"I don't want him to know where I am." he whispers weakly.

"But why...?" Wonho presses the matter before being stopped by Jooheon.

"Stop it, Hoseok. That's personnal and Kihyun will tell us when he feels ready to." he almost orders.

Kihyun looks at him with a little "Thank you".

"Are you okay now, though ?" Hyungwon asks worriedly.

"Yeah, sorry, I didn't want you to see me like that..." Kihyun says, wiping his last tears.

"We're here for you, Kihyunie. If you want to talk about it, our door is always open." Jooheon smiles warmly at his friend.

"Thank you, Jooheon." Kihyun smiles back.

"Now ! Grab your medicine and come down to eat, I'm sure your ramen is cold by now." Minhyuk laughs, grabbing his arm and helping him up.

They all walk downstairs and finish their meal. The mood is kinda tense because the usual Kihyun sunshine isn't as bright and laughing as usual. But soon enough, Minhyuk uses his power and relaxes everybody. Well, except for Kihyun.

"Still feeling down, Kihyun ?" Shownu asks worriedly.

"Yeah, a little bit, sorry." he admits shamefully.

"It's fine, don't worry. But I'm surprised Minhyuk's power doesn't affect you though." the leader goes on.

"Well, it only works on moods. If you feel truely depressed or sad, I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry I can't be of any help, Kihyunie..." Minhyuk says, apologetically.

"It's fine, Min. It's not your fault." he smiles a bit to reassure his friend.

After dinner they all relax in the living room and Kihyun sits at the piano again.

"Are you gonna sing something for us Mylady ?" Jooheon jokes.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to, yes." Kihyun answers with a smile.

"By all means, please sing." Shownu winks at him, earning a cute reddish blush from the main vocalist.

Kihyun takes place at the piano and starts playing beautifully. They all recognize the song immediately - Whataya Want From me by Adam Lambert.

When Kihyun starts singing, they all feel that this is more than just a song for him.

" _Hey, slow it down._

_What do you want from me ?_

_What do you want from me ?_ " Kihyun sings passionately.

They all look at him in silence and notice a single tear running down his cheek at his next lyrics.

" _Yeah, I'm afraid._

_What do you want from me ?_

_What do you want from me ?_ " he sings quietly and beautifully.

He looks down, remembering the hell he went through because of his father.

" _There might've been a time_

_when I would give myself away._

_Oh once upon a time, I didn't give a damn._ "

As he's about to continue singing, Kihyun suddenly hears a beautiful shy voice harmonizing with him. Minhyuk looks at him with a warm comforting smile.

" _But now, here we are._

_So what do you want from me ?_

_What do you want from me ?_ " 

They all join in for the chorus.

" _Just don't give up,_

_I'm working it out._

_Please don't give in,_

_I won't let you down._

_He messed me up, need a second to breathe._

_Just keep coming around,_

_Hey, What do you want from me ?_ " they all harmonize with him in a heart warming moment.

Kihyun doesn't expect it, but Shownu sings the next part solo. The leader sits by his side and looks at him, showing that his words are precisely directed at him.

" _Yeah, it's plain to see_

_that baby you're beautiful_

_And there's nothing wrong with you._ " Shownu sings with a powerful determined voice.

But Kihyun looks at him with sad eyes before taking the lead. He means the next lyrics too, afterall.

" _It's me... I'm a freak_

_but thanks for lovin' me_

_'Cause you're doing it perfectly._ " Kihyun tells him honestly.

Now it's Minhyuk's turn to adress his friend with the song.

" _There might have been a time_

_When I would let you slip away_ " 

Kihyun then responds to all of them, indirectly thanking them for their support.

" _I wouldn't even try_

_but I think you could save my life._ "

They finish the song all together, singing passionately and hugging each other.

"It was beautiful, Kihyun." Hyungwon squeezes him tightly.

"Well, I was just being honest. You give me so much strengh and I'm really glad to have you all in my life." he smiles warmly.

"Same here, bud." Jooheon laughs.

They all chat for a bit and Kihyun yawns a few time.

"I'm sure you're pretty tired, Ki. You should get some rest." Shownu says, concerned.

"You're right, I'm gonna go to sleep. Good night everyone !" he greets them before walking towards his room.

"Don't forget your night pill, Kihyunie ! I'll come in a bit !" Minhyuk tells him as he's about to disappear in the stairs.

"Will do, see you later." he answers with a smile.

As he's about to enter his room, he notices Shownu following him.

"Is something wrong, Shownu ?" Kihyun asks him innocently.

"Hum...I was just thinking about what you said with your song earlier and..." he mumbles, embarrassed.

"It was just a song, Hyungoo. Don't worry about it." Kihyun tries to reassure him. 

"Just...I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I don't know what your phone call was about earlier and I know it's none of my business but let me know if I can be of any help." Shownu tells him with a blush.

"I know, Hyung. You're our leader and I'll come to you if something's wrong." Kihyun answers softly.

"No, it's not just because you're a group member, Ki. I really care about you a..and I don't know what's going on but it seemed like a great deal. I don't want you to suffer on your own. If your dad or anyone hurt you, I'm here to protect you." he confesses nervously.

Kihyun doesn't know what to say. He can't possibly tell him but he really wants to. He feels that even though he's the leader of their band, he shares a deep connection with this tall fluffy bear.

"I'm not asking you to tell me anything, Kihyun. I'm just worried, that's all." Shownu finishes.

"Thank you for respecting my intimacy, Hyungoo. And thank you for worrying about me, I promise I'll tell you if things go south." Kihyun says with a little smile.

"Okay, that's great." Shownu tells him with an embarassed grin. 

A few seconds pass and Shownu greets him goodnight.

During this time, the boys downstairs talk a bit about what happened earlier.

"I'm really worried about him, did you see how broken he seemed...?" Minhyuk says softly.

"Yeah, I don't know what's going on but he's probably not on good terms with his dad." Wonho adds.

"And about his mom, I had no idea..." Jooheon states.

"Me neither..." Hyungwon says.

"It's strange tough, I suddenly felt that somthing was going on. Did you feel it too ?" Wonho asks nervously.

"Yeah, it was as if Kihyun himself was calling for help." Minhyuk answers seriously.

"We all felt it, then. How can it be possible ?" Jooheon adds.

"I don't know, maybe we're kind of linked. Because of our powers or our friendship." Hyungwon says.

"That's definitely strange. But I'm glad we were all able to hear him and help him." Minhyuk concludes.

"Same here." Jooheon smiles a bit.

Kihyun takes his medication, changes his clothes and gets under his comfy fluffy blanket. He slowly falls asleep and slips in awful nightmares.

_He's lying on his childhood bed, face down and suddenly feels a familiar weight on him. He can't move, can't breathe. He's totally paralyzed by fear._

_"Did you think you could run away, Kihyun ? I'll never let you go, you're mine and mine only." his father whispers in his hear._

_"L..Let me go..." he begs, earning maniac laughs from his dad._

_"Let you go ? What for ?! You're useless, Kihyun. Your life means nothing, your only purpose is to satisfy me, am I clear ?"_

_He feels his father's hand run down his back, grabing his shirt and tossing it aside. He then moves down to his pants and rubs himself on his crying son._

_"N..No ! Please stop !" Kihyun screams, only making his father more aroused._

_"I know you love it when I pound your ass, little slut."_

_"No ! I hate it, I hate it !" Kihyun continues shouting._

When Minhyuk enters the room, he hears that his friend is tossing a bit in his sleep but doesn't think much of it. But when he hears Kihyun suddenly screaming, he understands that this nightmare isn't a regular one.

"No ! I hate it, I hate it !" Kihyun shouts.

"Kihyun, Kihyun ! Wake up !" Minhyuk tries to shake him.

But the more he touches Kihyun, the more his friend screams.

"No ! No ! I'm begging you, don't do that ! You're hurting me !" the healer yells endlessly.

Minhyuk is completely panicking and doesn't know what to do. 

_"You're mine, Kihyun. Don't waste your precious voice by screaming."_

_"Stop it ! Please, dad !" he continues struggling._

_Kihyun suddenly feels something between his legs and screams even louder as a violent immense pain pierces his body._

_His father is in him, roughly abusing his weak body and his mind can't take so much pain. He gradually grows silent, disconnecting from his own body._

Under Minhyuk's panicked eyes, Kihyun continues screaming for a bit and suddenly stops. He seems dead and Minhyuk shakes him, calling his name.

"Kihyun ! Kihyun !" he almost shouts.

But nothing works. He suddenly has an idea. He runs to the bathroom and fills a glass with cold water. He prays this at least will help and abruptly throws the cold water on his friend's sweating face.

With that, Kihyun wakes up with a scream.

"Kihyun ! It's okay, you're awake now." Minhyuk hurries by the young boy's side.

Kihyun pants roughly, grabbing his chest with his trembling hands. He searches for his friend, trying desperately to aknowledge the reality.

"Wh..Where am I...?" he whispers.

"You're at the dorm, Kihyun. Everything's fine, you're safe here." Minhyuk answers softly.

He tries to reassure his friend and passes a hand on his back but this sudden move scares Kihyun and he jumps in fright.

"It's just me, Kihyunie. Old silly Minhyuk." 

"M..Minhyuk...?" Kihyun mumbles, beginning to understand the situation.

"Yeah, your favorite amazing roomate, remember ?" Minhyuk whispers with a sad smile.

Kihyun looks at him, realizing he just had a terrible nightmare in front of his bestfriend.

"M..Min.." he whimpers, tears running down his tired face.

"Shh, it's okay, Kihyunie. You're safe with me." the blonde boy hugs him tightly.

Kihyun cries for a long moment in Minhyuk's arms, whispering his name from time to time and apologizing endlessly. At first he can only whisper small words because he's crying too much but he slowly calms down.

"I...I'm sorry for w..worrying y..you... I didn't w..want you to s..see me like this..."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Kihyun." Minhyuk tries to comfort him.

When Kihyun finally stops crying, Minhyuk lets go of him and looks straight in his brown eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it, Ki ? I won't ask if you don't want me to..." he tells him, honestly.

Kihyun looks down and thinks for a second.

"I won't tell the others if that's what you're wondering. I don't want to pressure you." Minhyuk assures him.

Kihyun lifts his head up and speaks seriously.

"Let's talk about it." 

"A..Are you sure ? I'm worried about you, but I really don't want to push you." Minhyuk says.

"You're my bestfriend and I know you won't judge me. It's your right to know since we share the same room and this kind of nightmare will surely happen again. You should at least know what you're up against when it happens..." he explains with sad eyes.

Minhyuk sits in front of him and crosses his legs. Kihyun takes his friend's hands in his and looks at him intensely.

"Before I even start, I need you to promise me something." Kihyun asks nervously.

"Anything, Ki." 

"I want you to promise that you won't judge me or look at me differently after I tell you everything..." he says with apprehension.

"I swear to you that you'll still be my favorite cutie Kihyunie." Minhyuk answers with a smile.

"Thank you, and of course, you absolutely have to keep this a secret. This is extremely personnal and a very sensitive subject for me, i..if anyone else knows about it, I..I don't know..." Kihyun begins to panic.

"I won't tell a soul, Kihyun. You have my word." he responds seriously, placing a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Okay... It all began when my mom died..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Monbebe !
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do, feel free to comment and let me know what you think about it.
> 
> Also, I'm taking requests so don't hesitate !
> 
> Love you all !


	3. Revealing the past

"Okay... It all began when my mom died..." Kihyun starts.

Minhyuk knows this story won't be a happy one but still fears hearing it.

"I was ten when she died, she had brain cancer. Combined with our genetical heart condition, she was too weak to fight it and we all spent months at the hospital. My brother and I watched her slowly die days after days and it was really hard on us." Kihyun says sadly.

"You brother ? I thought you were an only child." Minhyuk asks.

"No, I had a younger brother. His name was Yun." Kihyun adds sadly.

Minhyuk really doesn't like how his friend uses the past tense to talk about his brother.

"Anyway, after she died, we were left with our father. My mom's death had really affected him and he began getting angry all the time and blaming me for my mother's death." 

"How can he blame you of all people ? It's not like you had anything to do with her being sick." Minhyuk tells him, already not liking his father.

"Well, I look exactly like my mother and I have the same heart condition as her. I guess everytime he looked at me, he just saw my mom and it reminded him of her being gone." Kihyun answers.

Minhyuk doesn't say anything, losing a parent is really hard and complicated to deal with, who is he to judge Kihyun's father ?

"One day, I came home after school, I must have been like eleven years old at the time, he was completely drunk and yelled at me for killing my mom again. I don't know what happened exactly to drive him this mad but I grabbed my little brother and ran to our room. Who knew what he'd do to us in such a rage." he gulps.

Minhyuk fears for what's coming next.

"He literally broke the door and came after us. I just had enough time to hide Yun before he grabbed me and began hitting me..." Kihyun whispers the last part.

"Kihyun... I'm so sorry..." his friend adds nervously.

"After that day, my dad was never the same again. He was really sweet and caring in public but extremely violent at home. At first, I thought he was completely crazy and wanted to tell an adult about it but he threathened to hurt my brother. You have to understand, Min. I never wanted any of it to happen and never did I accept it, but I absolutely _had_ to protect him. We only had each other..." Kihyun says, tears coming in his beautiful brown eyes.

"I understand, Ki. You did what you had to in order to protect your brother. But...why didn't you go to the police with Yun ? They could have protected you both from your father." Minhyuk asks.

"Well, I did, but when I went there, they just laughed at me for imagining such things. You see, my dad was an important member of the congress at the time and he had tight bonds within the police." Kihyun answers sadly.

"I see..." 

"You know, even though I've tried to convince myself that he was the crazy one, some part of me always thought that I deserved it all... Maybe I haven't been a good son or I did things I shouldn't have and it was just one way to punish me."

"No, Kihyun. None of it is your fault and I forbide you to think that way. You're amazing and everything that happened was because of your crazy father. You just protected your family." Minhyuk tells him seriously.

"You don't know everything, Minhyuk. You have no idea..." Kihyun whispers, wiping his tears away.

"Tell me then. I promise I won't judge you or anything. I just want to help, Ki." Minhyuk says, taking his trembling hand in his.

"It escalated pretty fast. At first it was just a few punches but it became much more when he lost his job at the congress. He'd stay home all day, waiting for us to come back and just lashed out at me for nothing. Once he even broke my knee and I ended up at the hospital. But after the hospital, it was even worse... He blamed me for having to go to the hospital and reminding him of my mom's last months." 

"I bet you hate hospitals now..."

"Yeah, I surely do. I always thought that all he did was because he loved my mom so much that he just couldn't stand that she was gone. But I discovered that he was seeing prostitutes on a daily basis and got really mad. I confronted him, telling him that he was a real asshole for pretending to love my mother. He didn't really like it..." 

"What did he do, Kihyun...?" Minhyuk whispers, not wanting to know.

"He grabbed me and hit me, screaming that she was dead and that now he was free to fuck whoever he wanted. After beating me on the floor, he whispered that he could even f..fuck his own son if he wanted to..." Kihyun begins sobbing.

"Kihyun..." Minhyuk's eyes grow wide as he begins to understand where all this is truely going.

"H...He _raped_ me..." Kihyun broke in tears.

Time freezes for Minhyuk, Kihyun's awful confession echoing in his head.

" _N..No, that can't be..._ " Minhyuk thinks. 

But he looks up at his bestfriends and instantly knows that this is real and that there's nothing he can do to change that fact.

"H..He pinned me o..on the ground and s..stripped me naked. After that, I j..just disconnected f..from it all..." Kihyun whimpers hard.

"Oh my God..." Minhyuk whispers, putting his hands on his mouth in shock.

"When I w..woke up in the morning, there was b..blood everywhere..." Kihyun continues crying so painfully. 

Minhyuk gives his bestfriend a few minutes to compose himself. When he feels that Kihyun's calmer, he begins talking.

"Kihyun... how old were you...?" he asks worriedly.

"Twelve... I was twelve." he whispers in shame.

At that, Minhyuk can't keep his composure anymore and explodes in tears, crying for his bestfriend.

"Minhyuk, what's wrong...?" Kihyun asks him sadly.

"Everything. _Everything_ is wrong, Ki. Your mom, your dad, your whole childhood. Everything is so wrong... You were so young and he did that to you..." Minhyuk can't stop the tears from falling and sobbs silently.

"Min, look at me." Kihyun says softly.

The blonde boy lifts his head and looks at his teary eyes.

"I'm okay now, I'm safe. I'm with you and the band, everything's fine." he soothes his still sobbing friend.

When Minhyuk finally calms down, he wants to know the whole story.

"D..did you go to the hospital ?" he tries.

"I couldn't. The next day, Yun found me and tried to help but I couldn't move at all. When he tried to take me to the hospital, all the doors were locked and we couldn't get out. I instructed him to hide in the room just before my dad came back. He took me to the basement to r..raped me again and again." Kihyun stops talking, the memories too hard to even talk about.

Minhyuk doesn't know what to say.

"After two days, he finally let me out and asked me to go to school as if nothing had happened. I wanted to report him and get away from him, but he said he'd hurt Yun if I didn't do as he asked."

" _Of course, the bastard had a plan to make him shut up..._ " Minhyuk thinks.

"I just did as he asked and didn't tell anyone. It went on like that for _years_. I became really good at pretending ; I went to school during the day and my dad took me to the basement at night... I became a shadow of myself, phyically hurt and traumatized on the inside."

"For _years_...?! What kind of hell is that ?!" Minhyuk whispers.

"My own personal one. I lost track of the days and years, living only to protect Yun and satisfy my father. Sometimes, he just locked me in the basement for days without eating. Other times, he'd bring other men home... Invinting them all to the basement to enjoy themselves..."

" _No wonder he doesn't want his father to know where he is..._ " Minhyuk thinks to himself.

"I had a plan, you know ? I wanted to graduate and get a job to save some money for Yun and I to escape. But I didn't have enough time..." Kihyun answers, breaking more and more.

"What happened ?" Minhyuk asks worriedly.

" _It can't possibly get any worse, can it...?_ " he thinks.

"On Yun's birthday, my dad took us both to Ilsan Lake Park. He made us board on a small bark. When we were in the middle of the lake, Yun suddenly exploded in anger. He yelled at my dad for hurting me and at me for bearing with it just to protect him."

"That was very brave of him." Minhyuk says.

"Can you imagine ? My little baby brother, standing up against my father for our safety. I was really scared but at the same time I couldn't have felt prouder of him." Kihyun adds with a sad smile.

"I bet you did." Minhyk smiles back.

"Anyway, he told me he was old enough to take care of himself and my dad tried to slap him. Of course I put myself in front of him and took the hit for him, at that, Yun took a knife out of his pocket. I'd never seen him so mad and he told our father never to hurt me again or he'd come after him himself."

" _This is not gonna end happily..._ " Minhyuk feels.

"My father went rogue. He screamed at us and pushed my brother on the boat's floor. My dad grabbed the knife from his unstable hand and.. _stabbed_ him." Kihyun stops, unable to go on.

After a few silent seconds, he speaks again.

"He stabbed him so many times I couldn't keep count. I shouted and tried to get him away from Yun's bloody body but he shoved me back. I hit my head really hard and almost passed out. He stabbed him a few more times before pushing him overboard."

Kihyun sobbs, painful tears falling down his cheeks and on his shaking hands.

"Kihyun, I...I'm so sorry about Yun..." Minhyuk whispers, knowing nothing will ever be enough to comfort his bestfriend.

"I..I immediately dived on the water. But my head hurt to much and I couldn't find him. I started desperately lacking of air but still tried to dive even further. I couldn't let my little brother _die_ in this lake... My father grabbed me before I could drown and brought me back on the boat. He said I wasn't allowed to die, that he wasn't finished using me."

Kihyun took a few weak breaths before finishing his story.

"He got rid of the knife in a near trash and pretended that Yun had fallen by accident. But everybody noticed how shocked and broken I was and the police decided to open an investigation."

"Did they listen to your side of the story ?" Minhyuk says sadly.

"They tried to interrogate me but I couldn't speak. For months after his death, I didn't say a word. I had lost my voice, nobody had ever listened and I couldn't get over Yun's death. They never found him. But they found the knife with his blood on it." 

"Is that why you're dad's in jail...?" Minhyuk carefully asks.

"Yeah, he was convicted of involontary homicide and sentenced to fifteen years of incarceration." Kihyun whispers.

" _What ?!_ " Minhyuk thinks.

"Involontary homicide, Min. Can you believe that ?! He stabbed my little brother to death and ditched his body in the lake but they said it was an _involontary manslaughter_. I tried to testify to make him pay, but he hired the best lawyers in the city and my story was just laughed upon." Kihyun cries.

"They didn't believe you ?!" Minhyuk asked angrily.

"It was his word against mine. Without a body, I couldn't prove anything..." Kihyun continues sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, Kihyun. I'm sorry this man used your body, destroyed your childhood and killed your brother..." Minhyuk tries to comfort him warmly.

"T..Thank you, Minhyuk... You don't know how long I've waited for someone to say those words to me." he cries more.

After a few minutes, Kihyun calms down a bit.

"After he was sent to prison, did you live on your own ?" Minhyuk asks softly.

"No, my grandma welcomed me in her home. She had lost her husband a few weeks before and needed someone by her side just as much as I did. I never told her about what my father had done to me all those years but I think that deeply, she already knew. I remember crying alone every night and she always came to my room, hugging me till I fell asleep." Kihyun says with a little melancholic smile.

"She sounds awsome to me." Minhyuk smiles back.

"Yeah, she's like a sunshine. I survived it all thanks to her. You know, after Yun died, I lost the very reason of my whole existence. If he wasn't there with me, I didn't see the point of living anymore."

"Kihyun, you didnt...?" Minhyuk whispers, afraid to say it out loud.

"I did. How could I not ? I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, couldn't function without him. When he died, I just couldn't take the pain anymore. All this suffering, for so many years, and suddenly my little brother killed so violently... I couldn't live after that. I tried to kill myself two days after his murder. I took pills and jumped in the lake, hoping to be reunited with him."

Minhyuk doesn't say anything for a few seconds, taking all those awful informations in.

"I'm glad you didn't succeed, Ki. I don't know what I'd do without you." he confessed.

"I'm glad too. After that, my grandma found me and took me home with her. She's the one who pushed me to take singing lessons and to come here in the first place, you know." Kihyun smiles warmly at him.

"I definitely have to meet this wonderful old lady." Minhyuk laughs a bit.

"Oh don't say that in front of her, she's highly capable of punching you in the face for calling her an old lady." Kihyun jokes.

"Woah and she's a badass on top of it, like that !" Minhyuk smiles.

Kihyun laughs a bit with his bestfriend but his smile goes away quickly.

"Well, now you know everything, Min." he says softly.

"Thank you for telling me, Kihyun. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to live with this burden for so long... You're so brave and strong, I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be your bestfriend." Minhyuk answers warmly.

"Well, I wouldn't have told you if I didn't trust you." Kihyun smiles a bit again.

"Then, was your nightmare related to all this...?" Minhyuk asks nervously.

"Yeah, I have them sometimes. They're either a memory or a nightmare, but it always feels so real..."

"Don't worry Kihyunie, if it happens again, I'll be there to wake you up." he reassures his friend.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it. I think tonight's nightmare was probably triggered by my dad's phone call." Kihyun says.

"Oh my God, the phone call ! What was that about ?! It was him, right ?" Minhyuk suddenly realizes.

"Yeah, it was my dad. He asked where I was and wants me to go home." 

"What the fuck ?! Isn't he supposed to be in jail ? Why does he care that you're not home ?!" he gets furious.

"I don't know, Min. I really have no idea... He should still be in jail for at least five years." Kihyun answers, trying to calm his friend.

"Do you think he got out of jail early ?" Minhyuk asks.

"I really don't know. But... I'm scared, Min. I'm so fucking _scared_. When he called earlier, he said he'd find me and that he'd hurt me again..." Kihyun says with a frightened look.

"Don't listen to him, Kihyun. I won't let him touch even a single hair from your head. We're all here to protect you, he won't hurt you ever again." Minhyuk answers, hugging his bestfriend tightly.

"Thank you, Min. Thank you so much..." Kihyun whispers.

They stay like that for what feels like hours and Kihyun finally falls into a quiet deep sleep. Minhyuk refuses to let go of him and drifts to sleep too.

" _We'll protect you, Kihyunie. You won't suffer anymore..._ " he thinks before falling asleep with Kihyun's small body in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think about Kihyun's past ? 
> 
> Please let me know in the comments !
> 
> Love you all !


	4. Dance Practice

"Kihyun ? What are you doing up this early ?" Jooheon asks him with tired sleepy eyes.

"I'm making breakfast, you still have ten minutes to properly wake up if you need." Kihyun answers with a smile.

"It's fine, I'll stay with you." Jooheon smiles back.

"How did you sleep, Jooheon ?" he asks softly.

"Pretty well, thank you. What about you ? Did Minhyuk behave ?" he responds with a little laugh.

"I'm glad you slept well, it's really important. Minhyuk behaved perfectly, don't worry. We slept pretty late though." Kihyun lies a bit.

They surely went to bed really late but he's mostly exhausted because of the nightmares. Not that he'd admit it to anyone.

"Can you watch this for me ? I'm gonna wake the others up." Kihyun tells him, stroking his friend's bed hair a bit.

First, he goes to Hyungwon, Changkyun and Wonho's room.

"Guys, it's time for you to wake up." he announces, entering the room and opening the window.

When no one answers him, he goes to each bed, shaking his friends softly to wake them up in a gentle mood.

"Hoseok, it's time to get up, buddy. Breakfast is almost done." he whispers, earning an aknowledging growl from his sleeping friend.

Then, he walks to Hyungwon's bed.

"Hyungwon, wake up, sleepy head." he laughs a bit, shaking him gently.

"Mmh... Kihyunie ?" Hyungwon mumbles.

"Yeah, what is it ?" 

"Come here." Hyungwon grabs his small body and drags him in his bed, confining Kihyun under his warm blanket.

"Ahaha ! As much as I'd like to, I can't cuddle with you right now ; Jooheon is burning breakfast for all we know." he laughs, straightening himself.

"Come oooon." the dancer whines.

"Chop, chop, Hyungwon. Time to get your ridiculously tall body on the move." he says, walking towards Changkyun's bed.

"I'm awake, don't bother." he yawns.

"Great, then make sure the others are downstairs for breakfast in ten minutes." Kihyun smiles before exiting the room.

Then, it's Shownu's turn. Kihyun's heart beats loudly in his chest when he knocks on the leader's door.

"Shownu ? Jooheon is already downstairs, are you already awake too ?" he pushes the door softly.

He is met with the amazingly disturbing view of Shownu half naked and still getting changed. 

" _Gosh, the guy is definitely toned..._ " he thinks to himself.

"I'll be here in a minute, Ki." Shownu says gently, putting his shirt on.

"Great, see you in a bit then." Kihyun mumbles in embarrassement.

But Shownu grabs his hand before he can escape.

"Wait, Kihyun."

"Hum... Yeah ? What is it ?" Kihyun asks as the leader sits with him on the bed.

"How do you feel ? Did you sleep alright ?" Shownu asks with a worried look.

" _Gosh, did he hear us yesterday night ? Does he know about my father ?_ " Kihyun internally panics.

"I'm fine, thank you. A little bit tired because we slept late with Minhyuk but otherwise I'm okay. What about you ?" he mumbles nervously.

"I'm great, thanks. I'm asking because I heard some noises coming from your room yesterday night. Is everything okay with Minhyuk ?" 

"Y..Yeah ! Everything's perfectly fine with Min. We really get along, even too much maybe." he smiles at him.

"Oh... Well, you know there's no rule against dating a fellow group member. But be careful, I don't want you two to hate each other in case it doesn't work out." Shownu says nervously.

" _WHAT ?!_ " Kihyun almost screams in his head.

"What ?! Shownu, d..do you believe Minhyuk and I...?" he whispers.

"You can do what you want inside your room, it's none of my concern. I'm just asking that you both use protection when you... well, you know." Shownu adds, embarrassed.

Kihyun fully understands what the leader is implying and suddenly explodes in laughter.

"Ahahah ! Minhyuk and I ? Ahahah !" Kihyun laughs so hard it almost hurts.

"What ? Did I say something funny ?" Shownu mutters.

"We're not _dating_ , Hyungwoo ! We're just bestfriends and we spent the night _talking_." he laughs even harder.

"Oh ! I see..." Shownu blushes.

"Oh you're so cute, I can't believe you thought Minhyuk and I were actually dating !" he wipes a laughing tears away from his eyes.

"S...Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that..."

"It's fine, Shownu. You just made my morning way more funny." Kihyun winks at him.

Shownu looks down in shame before suddenly lifting his head up with a serious look.

"Then what were those noises last night ? It seemed like you were screaming..." Shownu asks.

Kihyun's smile drops immeditely.

"Well... I was just having bad dreams, nothing to worry about." 

"It was bad enough to make you scream, Kihyun." Shownu insists.

"Minhyuk woke me up and we talked about it before going back to sleep, it's all sorted out." Kihyun doesn't really like this sudden interest in his night terror.

"Are you sure ? You can tell me, Kihyun. I'll never judge you or disregard any of your issue." Shownu presses the matter.

"I don't want to talk about it, Hyungwoo. Minhyuk knows everything and that's enough. If it's something that needs your expertise, I'll come to you." Kihyun says coldly before getting up.

"Kihyun, wait ! Why are you so angry ? I just want to know, to be properly able to help you." Shownu half apologizes.

"I'm not angry, just tired." Kihyun sighs.

"Why ? Did you have other nightmares last night ? You can tell me, I'm here for you." 

"I won't tell you, Shownu. It's personal and I'd really appreciate it if you could just drop the subject by now." Kihyun answers sharply.

"Oh it's _so_ personal that you told Minhyuk ?!" Shownu tells him.

"What's your problem, Hyungoo ?! Are you jealous I told Minhyuk and not you ? Because if you are, you should maybe wonder why I told him and not you." 

"And why is that ?" 

"Because he didn't push me, idiot ! Unlike with you, I don't feel pressured around his crazy self."

"I don't pressure you, I'm trying to help you. But you won't let me !" he shouts.

"Because I don't need your help, Shownu ! Just leave me be and I'll tell you when I'm ready for God's sake !" Kihyun yells back.

There's a light knock and Minhyuk's fluffy head pops up from behind the door.

"Everything okay in here...?" he asks nervously.

The whole band had heard their little fight since the door wasn't properly closed. Minhyuk was the bravest one and volonteered to check on them.

"Yeah, we're done anyway." Kihyun snaps angrily.

"Kihyun, wait !" Shownu tries.

"No, I need to finish breakfast. I just came here to wake you up but since you're already up, I'm not needed here." he answers coldly.

Kihyun goes down the stairs when he hears the faint voice of his leader.

"Kihyun, I'm sorry." 

The main vocalist stops in his track and looks up slowly, meeting Shownu's apologetic eyes.

"I shouldn't have pressured you, I'm really sorry. Whatever you're going through is personal and it's none of my business." he bows politely.

Kihyun turns and walks up the stairs again, ending up in front of Shownu.

"It's okay, Hyungoo. I'm sorry if I was too sensitive, I know you just want to help." he whispers.

Shownu looks at him and Kihyun can sense how truely sorry he is.

"I'll tell you one day, but not now. I'm not ready for everyone to know yet, but I'll come around one day. It's not about trust or anything, so don't get jealous." he smiles a bit, reassuring his regretful friend.

"I won't, I promise. Thank you for still trusting me." Shownu whispers with a nervous but honest smile.

"Of course, silly bear. Now come downstairs, breakfast is ready." he laughs a bit.

They walk downstairs together, chatting a bit about their schedule for the day.

Everybody has gathered down the stairs, snooping on their fight. When Kihyun arrives and sees them all, he dismisses the attention with a hand wave.

"Come on, boys. Show's over." he tells them.

They all run at the table, pretending as if nothing had happened.

"Changkyun, you can't eat breakfast in just your underwear. Please go change and put something decent on." Kihyun instructs, finishing breakfast and filling their bowls.

"But I'm comfortable like that." he argues.

"Changkyun, listen to Kihyun and get changed." Shownu almost orders.

He then helps Kihyun with the bowls. Minhyuk eyes them and laughs a bit.

"Am I dreaming or are you actually our band's parents ?" Minhyuk smiles.

"Who ?" Kihyun asks, still working on breakfast.

"You and Shownu." Jooheon adds with a laugh.

Kihyun's cheeks turn bright red at the comment.

"If you weren't such children, we wouldn't have to." Kihyun hugs Minhyuk from behind.

"Did you take your medication when you woke up this morning ?" Minhyuk asks him warmly.

"Yep, I did." 

"Don't forget the one you have to take while eating breakfast." Hyungwon adds.

"That's right, it's in my room." 

Kihyun finishes serving breakfast and walks to his room. Minhyuk follows him without saying anything.

When they're in their room, Minhyuk closes the door carefully.

"Are you okay, Kihyunie ?" he asks nervously.

"Hungry, why ?" 

"Well, I didn't know how you'd felt after yesterday night." he admits.

"I'm okay, Min. I'm used to it by now." 

"Did you sleep well after we talked ?" Minhyuk asks.

"I slept for a few hours before waking up again. Had to take you to your own bed afterall." he winks at his bestfriend.

"I'm serious, Kihyun. How much did you sleep in the end ?" 

Kihyun sighs before looking at him with sad eyes.

"Just those few hours with you. After I brought you to your bed, I couldn't sleep anymore. Plus I had to get up early to make breakfast." Kihyun finally confesses.

"A few hours isn't enough, Ki... You should tell Shownu you don't feel well and stay at the dorm for the day." Minhyuk suggests.

"No way. First, I'm not lying to Shownu about feeling unwell just to skip practice. I respect him too much for that. And secondly, today is a very busy day and there's no chance I'd miss all that." Kihyun answers seriously.

"Alright, but if you feel dizzy or too exhausted, let me know and we'll work something out." his friend responds.

"Deal." he smiles at him before going back downstairs with his medication.

"So, what's today's schedule ?" Changkyun asks, coming back from his room, fully clothed.

"We have dance practice till noon. We eat and then dance practice again till 3pm." Shownu explains while eating.

"And after that ?" Hyungwon asks.

"Well, except for Kihyun who has a singing session, we're all free for the day." the leader says with a smile.

"Yes !" Wonho exclaims.

"Are you gonna be okay ?" Minhyuk whispers to his bestfriend.

Kihyun doesn't say anything, just nods.

Changkyun and Hyungwon begin jokingly annoying each other and suddenly the rapper smashes his toe on the corner of the kitchen bar.

"Ouch !" he yells.

"That's what you get for messing with me, ahaha !" Hyungwon laughs.

"It really hurts, idiot !" he argues.

"Hyungwon, stop annoying Changkyunie." Shownu intervienes.

"Eomma, my foot hurts !" the rapper whines.

Kihyun puts his bowl down with a sigh and gets his first aid kit. He kneels in front of his friend, looking at his injured foot.

"You just bumped your toe on the corner, Changkyun. You should be fine in no time." he sighs, packing his medical stuff back in the closet.

"It really hurts, Kihyun. Can you look at it once more, please ?" Changkyun insists.

Kihyun looks at him incredulously.

"It's true that you look like you're in a great deal of pain..." he answers, kneeling in front of him again.

He tries moving his foot a bit, earning little yelps from his friend.

"I don't think it's broken but it's definitely bruised." Kihyun states.

He applies some cream on it and sits again.

"That's all ?" Changkyun asks Kihyun, puzzled.

"What more is there to do ?" Shownu answers in his place.

"Well, I can't dance like that. It hurts too much." he still eyes Kihyun.

The main vocalist looks at him with wide eyes.

"If you think I'm gonna heal your toe just because you were fooling around with Hyungwon and got hurt, then you're deeply mistaking." Kihyun answers with a little laugh.

"Yeah, it's your own fault you got hurt." Minhyuk supports him.

After an uncomfortable silence, Changkyun tries again.

"Please, Kihyun. I'm sorry I played with Hyungwon while eating, could you please heal me so that I can still go to today's dance practice ?" he asks.

Kihyun thinks for a moment and stands up, walking towards Changkyun.

"What ?! You're not gonna seriously do it, Ki ?!" Minhyuk says, dumbfounded.

"Today's practice is very important and we can't have one of our main rapper miss it." he answers softly.

"Pfff..." Minhyuk sighs.

Kihyun's hands begin to glow and after a few seconds, Changkyun's feet is completely healed.

"Thanks, eomma !" he laughs, going back to annoying Hyungwon.

Kihyun breathes a few times before standing up again, he doesn't want to seem weak in front of the others but this, plus his own exhaustion, are slowly making his head hurt.

"Changkyun, Hyungwon, stop it ! Kihyun's not gonna heal you whenever you don't behave !" Shownu gets a bit angry.

"S..Sorry." Hyungwon mumbles.

At 9am, the car is waiting for them outside. When they arrive at the company, they begin practicing hard for their new song ; Stuck.

"Everybody, work hard today." Shownu cheers before starting the song.

They practice for hours and everybody is growing exhausted. They put the song on a few times more before Kihyun violently trips on the sweaty floor.

"Kihyun !" Shownu almost shouts.

"Gosh, are you okay ?" Jooehon asks worriedly.

They help him on his feet but he can feel a sharp pain from his knee going all the way up to his back.

"I..I'm okay, thanks guys." he mumbles, trying to put some weight on his knee and feeling it give way.

"The floor is really slippery, you should be careful." Minhyuk says worriedly.

"Yeah, we should wipe it a bit before going on." Shownu adds.

Seeing that Kihyun limps a bit, Minhyuk takes him to the nearest sit.

"Do you mind if I sit with Kihyun for a bit ? I think he hurt his knee when he fell." he asks.

"It's fine, take some time while we wipe the floor." Shownu agrees.

Minhyuk turns back to Kihyun and suddenly realizes how pale his friend is.

"Kihyun, are you sure you're okay ? You're white as a sheet."

"I'm just a bit dizzy..." he winces, massaging his knee.

"Does your knee hurt ? Did you hit it when you fell ?" Minhyuk asks worriedly.

"No, I didn't hit it. It happens sometimes, when I think about the past too much, old injuries come back." 

"Like this time when your dad broke your knee...?" Minhyuk whispers.

"Yeah, exactly. When I think about him too much, my knee starts hurting again. There's no physical problem but it still hurts." he winces in pain again.

"Are you sure it's a good idea for you to finish practice ?" Minhyuk worries.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just need a moment." he pants.

After a few minutes, they go back to dancing. They practice really hard and Minhyuk notices that Kihyun is limping more and more, trying to cover it. He moves more slowly and sometimes loses his balance.

As the song's final break arrives, Kihyun feels more and more dizzy. He dances with great effort till the end of the break.

" _This is too much..._ " Kihyun thinks, fainting just before the last chorus.

"Kihyun !" Jooheon, who's directly on his left, shouts and hurries by his side.

"Oh my God, Kihyun !" Minhyuk, on his right, runs to him.

They all gather in hurry around him. On the floor, Kihyun pants roughly, still unconscious.

"Hyungwon, go get a nurse." Shownu instructs, grabbing the unconscious boy from the ground.

"You shouldn't move him, Shownu. He may have hit his head when he fainted." Wonho suggests.

"He's right, we should wait for the nurse to arrive." Jooheon adds, really worried about his passed out friend.

After a few seconds, Kihyun slowly opens his eyes.

"G..Guys...? What h..happened ?" he asks weakly.

"It's okay, Kihyun, don't talk." Shownu answers.

"You fainted, Kihyunie. How are you feeling ?" Minhyuk says with concern.

Kihyun begins to straighten himself, putting a hand on his throbing head.

"I..I fainted ?" he whispers, understanding the situation.

"Yeah, you passed out after the break..." his bestfriend responds.

"Sorry to have worried you, guys. I'm okay..." he mumbles, getting on his feet under his group member's worried glares.

But as soon as he's standing up, he feels light-headed again and Shownu grabs him before he can fall back on the floor.

"Don't overdo it, Ki. Let's get you seated." he leads him to the bench.

"T..Thank you." he whispers, still supporting his hurting head with his right hand.

When he finally sits down, all eyes are on him.

"What happened, Kihyun ?" Wonho asks.

"I don't know, I'm feeling really dizzy." he answers.

"How long have you felt this way ?" 

"I don't really know, half an hour maybe ?" he tells him.

"How is your knee ?" Minhyuk asks then.

"Hurts a lot, but not as much as my head..." Kihyun responds.

Hyungwon comes back with the nurse and she kneels in front of him.

"Yoo Kihyun ?" she asks first.

"Yeah, it's me." 

"Can you tell me where you are and why you're here ?" she says.

"I'm at Starship Company and we're here for dance practice." 

"Okay, great. Now, how are you feeling right now ? Tunnel vision ? Do you feel sleepy ?" 

"Quite sleepy, yeah. But it's probably because I didn't sleep a lot last night." 

"What's _not a lot_ for you, Kihyun ?" she goes on.

"Like, two hours...?" he whispers, ashamed.

"Two hours ?! You should have said so, Kihyun ! How can you possibly make it through the day with only two hours of sleep ?!" Shownu suddenly says.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to miss such a busy day." he mumbles in apology.

"Minhyuk, did you know about that ?!" Shownu adresses the blonde boy.

"Well, I didn't know it was this little but yes, I knew he hadn't slept for long..." Minhyuk answers, looking down.

"It's not his fault, Shownu. I asked him not to say anything so don't get mad at him." Kihyun asks desperately.

"We'll talk about that later." Shownu concludes angrily.

Even though he's angry that they kept this between them, he's still extremely worried about their main vocalist.

"Are you hurting anywhere ?" the nurse goes back on topic.

"My head hurts a lot and my right knee too." he admits.

"Okay, please follow the light." she says, getting a small flashlight from her gown.

Kihyun does as he's told.

"Alright, you have a small concussion. You need to rest and to sleep more for the next days. You should also avoid using your phone or looking at the computer for too long." she instructs.

"Will he be alright ?" Minhyuk asks in worry.

"Yeah, he'll be fine. We'll meet in three days to make sure you don't have any symptoms left. Now, about your knee, show it to me." she says, grabing his knee softly.

She moves it in different angles, earning winces from the vocalist.

"Are you in pain when I move it that way ?" she asks.

"Yeah, in any way actually." 

"That's really weird. Your knee seems fine but you feel pain exactly as if it was broken."

Kihyun looks quickly at Minhyuk, afraid she'll ask too much questions.

"Did you maybe break your knee in the past, Kihyun ?" she goes on with the questionning.

"Yeah, when I was younger." he whispers.

"I understand. I think that you're feeling past pain because you're exhausted. It should disappear once you're rested." she finishes.

Kihyun sighs, releaved she didn't ask too much embarrassing questions.

"I'll leave now, come to my office if you don't feel well again during the day." 

"Thank you." he bows.

"Can he still practice ?" Shownu asks.

"Yeah, if his knee doesn't hurt too much, he's able to dance. But you should all take a break and eat lunch first, this room smells awful because of the sweat. Kihyun, if you feel it's too much, step out and rest. But if you take it easy and don't overdo it, you should be fine." she finally says before leaving.

Once she's gone, they all look at Kihyun worriedly. He stands up, still limping, and bows at them.

"I'm really sorry to have worried you and to have waisted your time." he apologizes.

"Don't worry about it, Kihyunie." Minhyuk reassures him.

"Please take care of your body, Kihyun. We all need you to stay healthy." Shownu adds with a smile.

"Are you still angry...?" Kihyun asks him.

"No I'm not, I understand that you didn't want to let us down today. I'd probably have done the same thing. But please take it easy from now on. Of course we need you for the band, but most importantly we're your friends and we want you to be okay." he pats his head.

"Hum, I need to ask..." Changkyun steps in, looking worriedly at Kihyun.

"Yeah, what is it ?" Kihyun smiles at him.

"Did I make it worse by making you heal me this morning...?" he mumbles nervously.

Kihyun looks at him with sad eyes, meaning it probably did.

"It's okay, Changkyunie. It's not your fault." he answers warmly.

"Well, it is. Even just partly... I'm really sorry, Kihyun." he apologizes.

"Don't worry about it, just listen to Shownu when he tells you to stop annoying Hyungwon." Kihyun laughs.

"Ah, eomma's back ! He's fine !" Jooheon laughs too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this new chapter !
> 
> Hope you liked it, please comment and tell me what you thought about it :)
> 
> Also, I'm taking REQUESTS so don't hesitate to let me know !
> 
> Love you all !


	5. The Singing Teacher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been really long and I'm so sorry for it !
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this new chapter !

  
The band chats for a while, giving Kihyun enough time to feel better. 

"How is your leg feeling now, Ki ?" Shownu asks with a smile.

"Way better, thank you. I'm really sorry to have been such a burden this morning." Kihyun bows.

"Come on, Kihyunie. You're not a burden, Changkyun is." Minhyuk teases his friend.

"What ?! You're gonna pay for that !" Changkyun says, running after a laughing Minhyuk.

"Don't worry, Ki. You're not a burden and having a tough day once in a while is totally okay." Shownu smiles softly at him.

"Thanks, but... We don't have time to finish practicing before lunch and it's my fault." 

"Don't sweat it, Kihyun. I didn't have any energy anyway." Hyungwon says, patting his head.

"When _do_ you ?" Jooheon laughs.

"Right now I still have enough energy to kick your ass if needed !" Hyungwon smiles, punching his friend on the shoulder in a playful manner.

"Well, we should go eat then. We still have practice after lunch." Kihyun tells Shownu gently.

"Are you gonna be okay this afternoon ?" he asks.

"My knee is mostly okay now and I'll feel much better after eating, don't worry. If it's too much, I'll tell you." 

"You'll tell me _immediately_ , right ? Not, like, thirty minutes after feeling unwell." he gives him a reproaching glare.

"Yeah, immediately." Kihyun smiles in apology.

"Let's go then." Shownu calls everyone to go.

  
They walk down the company halls and Kihyun suddenly bumps into someone and falls on the floor.

"Ouch !" he hisses.

"Kihyun, are you alright ?" Minhyuk asks quickly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Mister, I didn't see you coming." Kihyun apologizes, getting up.

The other man didn't even bulge when they collided. Kihyun went flying on the floor but he, on the other hand, didn't move a muscle.

"Oh, are you MonstaX maybe ?" the man asks.

"Yeah, it's us. Nice to meet you...?" Shownu bows politely.

"Mr. Cho. I'm your new singing coach." he explains with a smile.

"Oh, so you are Mr.Cho ? Please take care of us." Shownu bows again.

"Nice to meet you all. May I ask who the main vocalist, Yoo Kihyun, is ?" Mr.Cho asks.

"I am, nice to meet you, sir." Kihyun bows next.

Mr.Cho eyes him from head to toe, sighing.

"Well, I guess we'll be spending a lot of time together from now on. We already have a session this afternoon, don't be late." Mr.Cho says a bit coldly.

"Of course, Mr.Cho. Thank you for having me." Kihyun bows again.

Then the man walks past the little group, mumbling.

"Let's go, guys." Shownu instructs.

  
Everybody gets to the cafeteria and when they sit, Minhyuk comments on their new singing coach.

"What did you think about Mr.Cho ?" he asks the group.

"I don't know, he seems like a nice guy." Shownu answers.

"Seemed a bit cold to me." Jooheon adds.

"What do you think, Ki ?" Hyungwon asks.

"Yeah, you'll be the one spending the most time with him." Wonho says.

"I don't think anything about him, guys. I don't know him yet so I'll tell you this evening after our session. Now if you'll excuse me." Kihyun smiles before getting up.

  
He walks to the bathrooms and meets Mr.Cho in there.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here, Mr.Cho." Kihyun bows politely.

The singing coach looks at him and sighs.

"Well, if you paid a little more attention to anyone but yourself, you'd have noticed, Kihyun." Mr.Cho answers coldly.

" _What ?!_ " Kihyun thinks, really shocked by this sudden change in behavior.

"Hum... Did I do something to uspet you, Mr.Cho ?" he asks carefully.

"Even your presence in this company upsets me, newbie. Who do you think you are ? The next superstar, just because you can barely sing ?! Well, let me tell you one thing, Kihyun. You're _nothing_. You have no value and it's a real shame that MonstaX has to bear with you." Mr.Cho replies agressively.

"W..What did I do to make you this angry...?" 

"You took my protege's spot as MonstaX's main vocalist, that's what you did ! I told them it was a terrible mistake to bring you in this company but you're apparently in the director's good papers." Mr.Cho explains angrily.

"What _good papers_ ?! I took the audition just as everyone else here and worked really hard to be where I am now. I don't know who your protege is, but he maybe wasn't good enough. I'm really sorry but if there's something I'll never be ashamed of, it's my hard work !" Kihyun snaps back, getting really angry himself.

"Oh, and I also suppose you didn't suck the director's dick to get in there ?!" he laughs.

"WHAT ?!" Kihyun almost shouts, shocked.

"Who do you think you're kidding here ?! I know all about your dear daddy story and everything you can do to obtain favors from older men. You're not here because of your so called talent, Kihun ! You're here because you arouse them or because they just pity you too much to break your childish dreams. But I don't !"

"What do you mean by my _dear daddy story_ ?! How could you know anything and what do you know exactly ?!" 

"Enough to give you goosebumps, kid. You disgust me and I really don't get why the director let you in with this kind of past. It's just gonna bite him in the ass when the time comes." Mr. Cho says in rage.

"H..How...?! How can you know ?!" Kihyun whispers.

"Well, you probably never heard of me but I was a friend of your father when he sat at the congress. At the time, it only took a few drinks before he blattered every little detail about his disgusting incest affair."

Kihyun's blood suddenly freezes. 

"Y...You ! If you tell anything to anyone, I swear to God I'll..."

"You'll what, huh ? You think I'm afraid of _you_ ? Just because you're the director's little slut doesn't mean I can't make your life a living hell." 

"Are you fucking threatening me ?!" 

"Just giving you a few advices. If you don't want anyone to know, you'd better do exactly as I ask. You'll come to every singing session on time and sing what I tell you to sing. If you don't, it's bye bye Kihyun, am I clear ?" 

Kihyun swallows anxiously before looking down.

"Crystal clear." he whispers.

"Oh and please, put yourself on a diet, you look like a fat hideous hamster."

"A...A diet...?" 

"Yes, a fucking diet ! You'd better lose at least 11 pounds before your first show if you don't wanna look disgustingly fat compared to the others."

Kihyun's eyes begin to water. If something, weight had never been an issue for him but he suddenly feels horribly ugly and chubby.

"O..Okay.." he answers with a shaky voice.

"Great. I'll see you this afternoon." Mr.Cho tells him before walking out.

  
When the singing teacher is finally out, Kihyun runs to the closest bathroom and sits in the corner. He begins sobbing a bit before completely freaking out.

" _Oh my God, what do I do, what do I do...?! He knows everything, he's gonna tell everybody... He's maybe in contact with dad, what if he tells him where I am ?!_ " he whispers frantically.

He pulls his knee closer to himself, curling on himself. Suddenly Kihyun hears the bathrooms door opening.

" _Fuck, he's back, what do I do ?! What do I tell him ?!_ " he thinks in panic.

"Hum...Kihyun...? Are you okay in there ? Did you eat something funny at breakfast ?" Minhyuk's voice rises above his panicking thoughts.

"It's been a while since you left the table, are you alright ?" Minhyuk knocks on the closed toilet door.

Kihyun sighs, relieved to hear this friendly familiar voice. He considers hiding the whole previous ordeal from his bestfriend before remembering that Minhyuk knows already everything. He could really use some support right now.

He gets on his knees and unlocks the door, showing his friend that it's okay to come in.

"Kihyunie...?" Minhyuk asks, pushing the door just enough to see his sobbing bestfriend on the ground.

"Kihyun, what's going on ?!" he says rushing towards him.

"I..It's the s..singing teacher..." Kihyun mumbles, swiping his tears away anxiously.

"He was in here ? What happened ?" Minhyuk asks suspiciously.

"He k..knows everything, Min. He knows..." he whimpers.

"What do you mean, what does he know ?" Minhyuk replies, confused.

"Everything. _Everything_ , Minhyuk. My dad, what he used to do to me, he said he's gonna tell everybody if I don't do as he asks." Kihyun cries.

"What...?!" 

"H..He said that I shouldn't be in the b..band. That somebody else s..should have been selected." he tries to explain.

" _What_ ?!" Minhyuk almost shouts this time.

"He's g..gonna tell everything i..if I don't d..do as he asks a...and that I s...shouldn't be h..here and..." Kihyun completely freaks out, babling ununderstandable explainations.

"H..Hey, slow down. It's okay, take it easy." Minhyuk tries to soothe him.

"B..But what i..if he t..tells e..everyone..." he continues crying and sobbing frantically.

"Kihyun, you have to calm down or your heart won't be able to take it. Just breathe with me." he shows him a few breathing exercises.

"O..Okay..." Kihyun answers weakly.

They slowly breathe a few times together.

"You're doing great, Ki. Relax, everything is okay for now. You need to calm down." Minhyuk instructs.

After a while, Kihyun finally stops sobbing.

"Okay, now. What happened with Mr.Cho ? From the start." Minhyuk asks.

"He was very agressive as soon as I saw him. He said that I'm useless and that I shouldn't think too highly of myself just because I can sing. He said that his protege was supposed to have my spot." Kihyun explains.

"His protege ?" 

"Yeah, I don't even know who he is, but apparently Mr.Cho resents me because I was the one selected. He said that I'm in the director's good papers and that's why I'm here with you. He called me..." 

"He called you what...?"

"He called me a slut. He said that he knows exactly what happened with my dad. Apparently they know each other from when my dad sat at the congress and that he was the one who told him everything." tears start running down his cheeks again.

"Gosh... And he threatened you by saying he'd tell everybody if you didn't comply...?!" Minhyuk asks, getting more and more angry.

Kihyun just nods.

"What an asshole ! What does he want from you ?! Don't tell me he's planning on sexually harassing you, cause I'm gonna fucking kill him if he did !" Minhyuk raises his voice.

"He didn't. Don't worry Min, he didn't even mention sex. He just said that I'd have to come to every singing lesson and sing exactly what he asks me to sing." Kihyun says.

"Well, that's a relief. If it's just singing, you're gonna be okay. You can sing anything." Minhyuk calms down and smiles a little.

"Thanks, Min. But what do I do about the fact that he knows about my dad...? What if they're still in touch and that Mr.Cho tells my father about where I actually am...?" Kihyun freaks out a bit.

"Don't worry, Kihyun. He won't tell him anything. His own career is at stake, he'd never put himself in this situation."

"Y..You really think so...?" the singer asks nervously.

"Yes, I do. It's gonna be okay, Ki." Minhyuk smiles.

"O..Okay, thank you, Min." Kihyun sighs.

"Plus, your father's still in jail for all we know. I understand that his call confused you but he's still supposed to be locked up, everything's gonna be alright."

"Yeah, you're probably right..." Kihyun answers softly.

Minhyuk pats his head in a comforting way, giving his friend time to compose himself before standing up.

"Is there anything else I should know about, though ? I don't know, something else he told you or anything." Minhyuk asks.

"Well, he also said I should start a diet." Kihyun whispers very quietly.

"What ?!" Minhyuk gets angry again.

"Yeah, apparently I look extremely fat compared to the rest of you guys." he explains.

"Kihyun. You're not fat, you're adorable and you absolutely don't need to start a diet ! You're already very thin, if you lost weight, it could be really bad for your health." Minhyuk tells him seriously.

"I don't know, Min. But even if you were right, I don't have a choice. If I don't do as he asks, he'll tell the whole company about my past." Kihyun sighs.

Minhyuk stays silent, understanding his point. They're suddenly interrupted by a lousy Jooheon.

"Hey guys ! If you don't hurry, Shownu's gonna eat all your food." Jooheon laughs.

Nobody answers anything and that raises Jooheon's worry.

"Everything's okay, guys ? Did I interrupt something maybe...?" he asks softly.

"No, it's fine Jooheon. We were on our way." Kihyun answers with a smile.

Minhyuk has no choice but to follow his friends back at the lunch table. 

  
"Kihyun, you didn't touch your chicken. Come eat before we have to go back to practice." Shownu advises with a smile.

"You can have it, Shownu. I'm not that hungry in the end." he replies.

Minhyuk sighs, understanding where this actually comes from.

" _Stupid singing teacher and his fucking diet..._ " he thinks

"But earlier you said you'd feel better once you'd have eaten." Hyungwon says in worry.

"Yeah, you have to eat if you don't want to faint again." Wonho adds.

"Thanks guys, but I'm really not hungry. I guess I ate something weird at breakfast and now my stomach's hurting a bit." he lies.

"Is it that bad you can't eat...?" Jooheon asks with concern.

"I'll be fine, I'm just not hungry anymore." 

"If you're feeling sick, I can take you home and tell Mr.Cho that you'll reschedule your singing session." Shownu says softly.

"No !" Kihyun shouts in panic at the mention of his singing teacher.

They all look at him with wide eyes, not understanding where this sudden fear of cancelling his singing session comes from.

"Hum... I mean, it's not necessary. I don't want to disappoint Mr.Cho." he smiles nervously to cover his weird previous behavior.

"O..Okay. If you say so." Shownu whispers, getting back to his meal.

He senses that something's definitely wrong with their main vocalist but doesn't want to pressure him or to push the issue in front of everyone so he lets it slide for now.

  
After they've finished their meal, they go back to the practice room and dance intensely for another two hours. When everybody seems exhausted and that most of the choreography looks pretty great, Shownu decides to call it a day.

"Alright, guys. That's all for today." he claps in his hands in congratulations.

"Yeah !" Jooheon exclaims joyfully.

"Great work everybody." Shownu concludes, grabbing his things and heading for the changing room. 

When they're undressing, Kihyun hides behind a closet door, raising suspicions amongst his band members.

"Everything okay, Ki ?" Shownu asks in concern.

"Yeah ! I'm just a bit shy, sorry." he lies.

He can't tell them he's ashamed of the scars his father left on his back and thighs during his many years of abuse. 

" _I guess I'll have to tell them one day, I can't hide those scars forever. Not from them at least..._ " he thinks sadly.

Once everyone's dressed up and ready to go home, the team greets Kihyun. Before they leave for the dorm, Minhyuk walks up to Kihyun.

"Don't let him hurt you, Kihyunie." he whispers.

"I won't, I promise." 

"Okay then... But please be careful and, for God's sake, eat something before going there. You're as pale as a ghost right now and the last thing you need is to pass out while you're with this bastard of a teacher." Minhyuk says with a concerned glare.

"Will do." Kihyun smiles to reassuring him.

"See you at home." Minhyuk hugs him.

"See you later, Min. Thank you for everything." he answers.

"Of course, silly." Minhyuk winks before leaving for good.

  
Kihyun walks to the studio, freaking out more and more. Earlier he put on a brave face to soothe his bestfriend but now that he's about to face this asshole teacher, he has a hard time composing himself.

He knocks softly on the door before entering.

"Oh, it's you." Mr.Cho stares at him wearily.

"Please take care of me today." Kihyun bows.

"Alright, let's see what you've got." the singing teacher says with a little vicious grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you all think about this mysterious Mr.Cho ? I uploaded a picture of him to give you a more precise idea of how he looks.
> 
> Please comment and let me know your opinion,
> 
> Love you all !


	6. Hurt

**At the studio _(Kihyun, Mr.Cho)_**

"Alright, let's see what you've got." the singing teacher says with a little vicious grin.

Kihyun swallows nervously, not knowing what to expect from this mysterious man. Mr.Cho sits behind the piano and starts playing scales.

"Okay, we're gonna start here. You'll sing this melody and we'll go up the scales to see how high you can sing." Mr.Cho instructs very professionally.

He plays a complicated melody and Kihyun hardly catches every note at first hearing.

"Hum, excuse me but could you replay the melody please ? I'm not sure I got everything right since it's pretty complicated for a warm up." Kihyun asks carefully.

"That's not complicated, you should be used to warm ups." he answers, refusing to play again.

"Hum... I've never sung such hard melodies for warm up, that's all." Kihyun says apologetically.

"Then get used to hard warm ups, brat."

Without playing again, Mr.Cho gives him the beginning note.

"First on the vowel a." he instructs.

Kihyun picks the beginning note and sings what he can remember from the complicated melody played by Mr.Cho.

"Not bad. But your melody isn't the right one."

"That's why I asked you to play it again, Mr.Cho." Kihyun explains gently.

"My job is to make you sing and your job is to fucking sing what I tell you to. I'm not your friend and I don't plan on babying you by playing each melody a million fucking times. So do your fucking job or just shut up, fatty."

Kihyun stays silent and looks down. He's hurt by those words but doesn't plan on giving up just yet.

"Got it." he whispers.

"Next scale." Mr.Cho says, playing the new beginning note.

Kihyun sings again, trying to get the melody right this time.

"Now the notes are okay, but your support is off. More power." he instructs.

Kihyun nods and sings through the next scale. 

" _He's pretty professional in the end. That's actually great to work with a highly quilified teacher._ " he thinks to himself.

"That's better, faster now." Mr.Cho tells him.

He almost doesn't let Kihyun catch his breath before asking him to sing again. After two more scales, he stops.

"What's with your air managment ? Are you fucking kidding me ?" Mr.Cho gets up from his chair angrily and walks towards his student.

"W..What about it, is it not steady enough ?" Kihyun asks politely.

"Steadiness isn't the issue here, you're out of breath, that's your fucking problem ! How can you possibly keep up for a whole concert if you don't take enough air in your lungs between singing lines ?!" 

"I..I'm sorry, I'll try to do better." Kihyun apologizes.

"Don't fucking try, moron. Do it." Mr.Cho touches his shoulder and places his other hand on Kihyun's flat belly.

"W..What ?!" Kihyun objects, but Mr.Cho doesn't let him go.

"See, that's where your air should be going." he explains, showing the bottom of his stomach.

"That's where I put it." Kihyun retorts, really uncomfortable with this sudden proximity.

"No, if you were putting your air in the right place, you wouldn't have breathing issues."

"Well, I _really_ put it there. I'm just a bit nervous and that's why..." but Kihyun is interrupted by Mr.Cho's powerful hand pushing on his stomach.

"W..What are you doing ?!" 

"I'm showing you how to do your job, so just shut up, brat." he answers.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and accepts the exercise.

"Breathe in." Mr.Cho instructs.

Kihyun breathes in and his belly swells a bit the way it should.

"Breathe out." Mr.Cho asks.

Kihyun breathes out as asked and looks at his teacher.

**At the dorm _(Minhyuk, Shownu, Jooheon, Wonho, Hyungwon, Changkyun)_**

Shownu makes a weird face.

"Everything alright, oppa ?" Hyungwon asks, noticing immediately that something's off.

"I don't know, I suddenly feel kind of... uneasy ?" he explains.

"Oh, you too ? Like, just a bit uncomfortable out of nowhere ?" Wonho adds.

"Yeah exactly." he answers.

"Same here, we maybe ate something weird at lunch." Minhyuk says.

"Yeah, it's strange though." Shownu concludes.

**At the studio _(Kihyun, Mr.Cho)_**

"See ? Told you I was breathing as deep as any singer should." Kihyun says, sighing.

Mr.Cho lets go of his belly and shoulder and walks in front of him before slapping him really hard in the face.

Kihyun's head turns with the force of the blow. He stays in this position, not believing his singing teacher just hit him.

" _Never_. Never talk to me like that again." Mr.Cho says angrily.

"W..What the fuck ?! Are you crazy ?!" Kihyun shouts back at him, looking in his eyes.

Mr.Cho doesn't care and slaps him again.

"Shut the fuck up. You try to outsmart me once again and you're done, understood ?" he asks calmly.

"No, not understood ! You just slapped me ! Twice ! Who the fuck do you think you are ?!" Kihyun shouts back.

  
**At the dorm _(Minhyuk, Shownu, Jooheon, Wonho, Hyungwon, Changkyun)_**

"Did you guys feel that ?" Changkyun asks, stopping his game.

"Yeah, I feel really weird." Wonho answers.

"It's like... no, nevermind." Jooheon says but stops mid-sentence.

"What is it, Jooheon ?" Shownu tells him.

"You're gonna think I'm crazy but I feel like Kihyun's trying to reach out... Like something's off you know." he explains with an embarassed blush.

"You're right. I feel it too. I don't know what it is but it's coming from Kihyun." Minhyuk adds.

"Since yesterday evening when he freaked out because his dad called him, I've felt this kind of connection. To him mainly but also to you guys. Like, I sense when one of you is feeling down or unwell." Hyungwon says.

"Same here. Like, in the practice room. I could litterally feel everyone's exhaustion as if it was my own, so weird." it's Wonho's turn.

"So, you think something's up with Kihyun ?" Jooheon asks the leader.

"I don't think there's anything to worry about. He's at the company, maybe his stomach feels weird again, like during lunch." he answers.

"Yeah, you're probably right." the main rapper says.

**At the studio _(Kihyun, Mr.Cho)_**

"Oh, you don't like my methods ?" Mr.Cho grins.

"No, I don't fucking like your methods ! You can't hit your student just because you were wrong !" 

Mr.Cho punches him in the stomach.

"Argh !" Kihyun drops to his knees, grabbing his hurting belly.

"I'm never wrong, you're just an inexperienced insolent brat." Mr.Cho answers, watching his student on the floor.

"But I showed you that I'm doing it right !" Kihyun argues, still squeezing his hurting stomach.

The fact that he hadn't eaten since breakfast worsens the pain.

"Oh, you mean your pitiful breathing exercise ? So tell me, Kihyun. Where do you put air while singing ?" Mr.Cho asks with a hateful glare.

This glare frightens Kihyun, who just points his finger under his bellybutton, answering his teacher.

"You mean, here ?" Mr.Cho asks, kicking Kihyun where he pointed at his stomach.

"Argh !" he shouts.

"Well, I think you should put your air preferably here." and he kicks him again just under his previous blow.

Kihyun pants on the ground, shocked by his teacher's behavior.

"W..Why are you d..doing this...?!" he asks, painfully clutching his hurt belly.

"I'm doing this to teach you a fucking lesson, asshole. You don't know your place and that's a fucking problem." Mr.Cho explains, crouching in front of Kihyun.

"Y..You're not getting away with that." the student says between clenched teeth.

He slowly sits and begins to stand up but Mr.Cho just pushes him on the ground again.

"You belong on the floor with dust and trash."

"So what, you're gonna beat me any time I make a mistake while singing ?!" Kihyun says angrily, not even trying to register with his insults anymore.

"That's exactly what I'm gonna do." he answers with a frightening grin.

"You won't hurt me anymore." Kihyun tells himself, thinking about his previous talk with Minhyuk.

" _Don't let him hurt you, Kihyunie._ " Minhyuk's voice echoes in his memories.

Without saying anything else, Kihyun gets up and runs to the door, screaming.

"Help ! Please help me !" he yells, banging at the closed door.

He tries to open it forcefully but nothing works. Mr.Cho slowly walks to his side, laughing a bit.

"You really think I'd let you escape like that ? What a fool you are..." he smiles.

"Someone, help !" Kihyun continues shouting.

"That's useless, this room is soundproof, idiot." Mr.Cho chuckles a bit.

Kihyun turns to him, watching his teacher getting closer and closer. He grabs his pocket discretely and pushes the front button. He knows this will automatically send an emergency call to the contact of his choice ; Minhyuk.

Mr.Cho walks calmly to him, grinning more and more. He eyes Kihyun from head to toes, lifting his eyebrow.

Kihyun finally senses his phone vibrating in his pocket, meaning Minhyuk just picked up his emergency phone call.

"You can try to run, to fight back, it's never gonna work. I can do whatever I want with you, dear Kihyun." Mr.Cho is now a few inches from his shaking body.

"S..Stay where you are ! Don't come closer !" 

"Or what ? You're gonna scream again ? Please spare us the useless noise." Mr.Cho answers.

He makes a few more steps towards Kihyun.

" _Minhyuk, please help me..._ " he thinks in panic.

**The night before, at the dorm _(Kihyun, Minhyuk)_**

"You have to be careful, Ki." Minhyuk tells him.

"I know, we have no idea if my dad's still locked up. But what can I do ?" Kihyun asks him worriedly.

"Well, nothing major but little things like setting your emergency call." 

"Emergency call ?" Kihyun repeats, confused.

"Yeah, look. You just have to press the front button long enough and it'll call the contact of your choice for emergency."

"Really ? How do I do that ?" 

"Ahaha you're really oblivious sometimes. Like that, look." Minhyuk shows him.

"That's amazing." Kihyun says in owe.

"Who do you want to put as your emergency contact ?" Minhyuk asks, working through his parameters.

Kihyun thinks for a few seconds when the solution strucks him.

"You. I want _you_ to be my emergency contact. Well, if that's okay with you." Kihyun mumbles the end, embarassed.

Minhyuk looks at him in surprise and a huge smile appears on his face.

"Oh Kihyun, it means so much to me ! Thank you for trusting me !" he hugs his bestfriend.

"Of course I trust you, idiot." he chuckles.

"Love you, Kihyunie." he hugs him even tighter.

"Ahaha, I love you too silly. Now, how does that work ? You get my emergency call as if it was a normal one ?" Kihyun asks, returning the hug.

"No, cause if you're in danger, me bragging over the phone won't help. It appears in red and gives me your location." Minhyuk explains.

"That's great, so I just have to press long enough ?"

"Yep, that's it." Minhyuk laughs.

**Present time, at the dorm _(Minhyuk, Shownu, Jooheon, Wonho, Hyungwon, Changkyun)_**

Minhyuk hears his phone ringing.

" _I thought I had put it on silent mode._ " he thinks, grabbing it.

He sees a red screen with Kihyun's name in the middle and his heart suddenly stops.

"Oh my God, oh my God !" he whispers, running to Shownu.

He unlocks his phone and listen. He doesn't say anything in case Kihyun is making this emergency call in secret.

" _You can try to run, to fight back, it's never gonna work. I can do whatever I want with you, dear Kihyun._ " Minhyuk hears Mr.Cho's voice and really begins to panic.

He mutes his own speaker to make sure his voice won't be heard on Kihyun's side and hurries in the living room, startling the other members.

"What's going on, Min ?" Shownu asks, seeing immediately his panicked state.

Minhyuk walks in front of the television where Wonho and Changkyun were playing video games and puts his phone on speaker.

"What the fuck, man ?! We're busy here, can't you see ?!" Changkyun objects but is cut by Kihyun's screaming voice.

" _S..Stay where you are ! Don't come closer !_ " his voice echoes in the now silent living room.

Minhyuk feels a slight relief hearing his bestfriend and knowing he's not hurt... _yet_.

" _Or what ? You're gonna scream again ? Please spare us the useless noise._ " Mr.Cho answers, giving Minhyuk goosebumps.

"M..Minhyuk... What's going on ?" Jooheon asks, walking to him in worry.

"It's Kihyun. He needs our help, now." he says in a hurry.

"Oh come on, enough with your little pranks, Minhyuk. Now please get away from our television." Changkyun adds.

"It's not a prank ! This is happening right now ! Kihyun made an emergency call and what you're hearing right now is real and live !" he shouts.

" _Aaaah!_ " they hear Kihyun scream on the other line.

Shownu doesn't say anything and grabs his jacket as fast as he can.

"Minhyuk, Jooheon, with me. Wonho, you call our manager and explain that Mr.Cho is threatening Kihyun." 

"W..What do I say ?" he mumbles.

"I don't fucking know ! But you let him understand that he can't be anywhere near Kihyun anymore !" he yells back.

Minhyuk and Jooehon follow him and grab a taxi to head to the company.

"Keep him on speaker." Shownu instructs.

**At the studio _(Kihyun, Mr.Cho)_**

"Or what ? You're gonna scream again ? Please spare us the useless noise." Mr.Cho says.

He pushes Kihyun hard on the door and grabs him by the hair.

"You're weak. You're useless and weak, I can do whatever I want to you and nobody will move even a finger to help you." he whispers in his hear.

Kihyun grunts in pain, his head bent back and restrained violently.

"S..Stop.." he whispers, his position giving him a hard time speaking.

Mr.Cho looks at him with amused eyes and he begins laughing hysterically.

Kihyun fights back, struggling to get out of his grip but nothing works.

Suddenly, Mr.Cho has had enough of his struggle and grabs his hair with his two hands and smashes his head roughly on the door three times.

"Aaaah!" he screams, falling on the ground again.

It hurts so much that Kihyun begins to see black spots clouding his vision. He takes his throbing head in his hands but when he reaches his hair, he sees dark red liquid on his hand.

"Gosh, you're so weak you're already bleeding out in my studio !" Mr.Cho shouts in anger and kicks him in the stomach a few times.

On the ground, Kihyun is panting heavily, fighting to stay conscious.

" _Minhyuk will help me, he'll come for me._ " he tries to reassure himself.

He stays on the ground for a few minutes and Mr.Cho eyes him, wondering.

"You know, I kinda like seeing you, helpless on the floor like that." he smiles a bit, crouching in front of his trembling body.

Kihyun looks at him in panic, knowing this kind of glare. 

" _It's the same as those men back then..._ " he thinks, completely freaking out.

Mr.Cho eyes him a bit longer and smiles.

"Kinda arousing." he whispers.

**In the taxi _(Minhyuk, Shownu, Jooheon)_**

"What in hell is happening, Minhyuk ?! You're clearly more informed than we are." Shownu asks nervously.

"It's a long story but to make it short, when Kihyun went to the bathroom during lunch, he met Mr.Cho there and the bastard threatened him." Minhyuk explains, trying to calm down.

They still have Kihyun on the phone and it surely doesn't sound good. Mr.Cho keeps threatening to hurt him and apparently there is more to it since they don't have visual.

"What the fuck ?! Why would he threaten Kihyun ?" Jooheon adds.

"Yeah, he's the more likable guy I know, what could he possibly have done to piss Mr.Cho off ?" Shownu asks.

"Apparently, Mr.Cho's student also passed the auditions to become MonstaX's main vocalist but Kihyun took the spot."

"So he's mad because his student didn't make it ?! That's bullshit !" Jooheon exclaims.

"He's an asshole, that's all." Minhyuk answers.

"And why did Kihyun call you and not me or our manager ?" Shownu asks, calming down just enough to stay composed.

"He didn't just call me like that, it's an emergency call." Minhyuk says.

"But why are you his emergency call contact ? It should be family or the police, I don't know." Jooheon replies.

Shownu doesn't say anything for a few minutes, eyeing Minhyuk.

"Minhyuk, I don't want to put you in an embarassing situation, but you have to answer to me honestly okay ?" he asks.

Minhyuk looks at him, understanding that the leader has already figured it all out.

"Okay..."

"Does someone currently represent a danger for Kihyun's life outside the company ?" he asks carefully.

Minhyuk takes a deep breath before looking at him and answering.

"Yes." 

Jooheon listens to the conversation, too confused to add anything.

"Did Kihyun tell you about this person last night and is that why he had nightmares ?" Shownu goes on.

"Yes and yes." Minhyuk answers truthfully.

"Is that why you two set this emergency call thing up ?" 

"Yes."

"G..Guys...? What's going on ?" Jooheon tries to understand.

"Last question, Minhyuk." Shownu says.

"What is it ?" he looks at the leader intensely.

"It's Kihyun's father, isn't it ? The one threatening his life." Shownu finally questions, already knowing the answer.

A deafening silence falls upon the three boys.

"Kihyun wouldn't want me to tell you who that person is." Minhyuk explains.

"That means yes. His father is the one who's scaring him. No wonder Kihyun freaked out when he called him." Shownu talks mostly to himself.

"W..What ? Kihyun's father is dangerous ? He's threatening him ?" Jooheon asks, trying to keep up.

"That's not my place to say. I didn't tell you anything, Shownu. Are we clear ?" Minhyuk whispers.

"Of course we're clear." he agrees.

"Anyway, this man isn't our priority for now. We have to get Kihyun out of this singing studio as soon as possible." Minhyuk says, paying attention to the still running emergency call again.

" _S..Stay where you are..._ " they hear Kihyun faintly begging.

**At the studio _(Kihyun, Mr.Cho)_**

"S..Stay where you are..." Kihyun begs, trying to get away from his teacher's approaching form.

"Why are you resisting, Kihyun ? You're used to these kind of things, aren't you ?" Mr.Cho laughs a bit.

"I..I don't know w..what you're talking about..." Kihyun answers, knowing exactly what this is about.

He weakly crawls away from him, supporting his hurting side with one hand and feeling more and more blood flowing from the bottom of his head all along his neck.

"Oh I think you actually know perfectly what I'm refering to. Remember all those men your daddy brought home to see you ? Lucky men." he smiles.

"S..Shut up..." Kihyun pants.

As Kihyun crawls towards the door, Mr.Cho just walks to his side calmly.

"Where do you think you're going, honey ?" he smirks.

"Away f..from you...!" Kihyun argues.

"Come on, stay with me a while longer." the teacher winks.

Kihyun doesn't know if he's refering to his pitiful escaping attempt or just his iminent passing out.

Mr.Cho suddenly grabs his feet and drags him to the back of the studio, making sure he won't be able to reach the exit anytime soon.

Kihyun's phone falls out of his pocket and he loses the only possible rescue he could hope for. The further away Mr.Cho takes him, the less Minhyuk can hear him and soon he knows that his bestfriend is clearly out of reach. 

Kihyun just hopes he got the emergency call and that maybe his friends are on their way to help him.

"It's better here, quieter." Mr.Cho laughs again.

"No ! Let me go !" Kihyun panics.

"Now, now. Just imagine I'm one of your friends or even your dad for all I care." Mr.Cho says calmly.

"No ! I don't want to !" Kihyun struggles on the ground.

But Mr.Cho is stronger and Kihyun completely exhausted and light-headed because of the blood loss. He struggles with every fiber of strengh left in his body but the teacher straddles him, weighing on his trashing frame.

"Stop it, already !" Mr.Cho loses his cool and begins choking Kihyun.

He presses extremely hard on his neck, strangling him and leaving nasty finger marks. Kihyun trashes a bit more but he soon loses the little energy he had left and lets his arms fall on his side, surrending against his will.

But Mr.Cho doesn't stop. He continues squeezing Kihyun's neck so much that the latter can't breathe anymore and begins suffocating under his teacher's crazy lust filled eyes.

"S..Stop...pl..ease..." he begs.

Soon, dark spots appear in front of his eyes and Kihyun feels himself drifting.

" _So... This is it...?_ " he thinks, closing his eyes.

Seeing that his prey is slowly dying, Mr.Cho stops strangling Kihyun and pants heavily. He composes himself as Kihyun coughs violently, trying to finally get some air into his lungs.

"You didn't think I was done, did you ?" Mr.Cho smiles.

Kihyun doesn't move, he simply can't. His teacher's weight is crushing him and he doesn't have any energy left. Breathing hurts his throat and lungs and he really fights to stay conscious.

But when Mr.Cho's hands slip under his sweater, adrenaline rushes through the young singer's blood and gives him one last energy boost.

"Stop ! You monster !" he screams with a hoarse hurting voice.

Kihyun struggles again, pushing his teacher's hand away from his trembling body.

Mr.Cho isn't having any of that and slaps him in the face, hard.

"Shut up, faggot." 

"Fuck you, disgusting perverted freak !" he screams, spitting the blood he can now feel on his tongue into his teacher's face.

Mr.Cho slaps him again, trying to get him to shut up. But he doesn't.

" _I won't give up without putting a fight !_ " Kihyun thinks to himself.

"Shut your fucking mouth, whore !" Mr.Cho yells.

"No ! Get off me ! GET OFF !" he screams more and more.

Slowly but surely, Kihyun trashes enough to break free for a few seconds. But Mr.Cho won't let him get away and grabs a huge mic and slams it into Kihyun's face.

"Aaah !" he yells before passing out from the rough blow.

For a few seconds, the room is weirdly silent, except for Mr.Cho's labored panting.

"You finally shut up, slut." he exhales.

The teacher catches his breath and looks at the unconscious body under him with lust.

"Now you're all mine." he grins.

**At the company's entrance doors _(Minhyuk, Shownu, Jooheon)_**

"Why does the music studio have to be so far from the entrance ?!" Jooheon complains.

"Shut up and hurry !" Minhyuk shouts.

Ever since Kihyun's voice has been too far away for them to hear what's happening, Minhyuk's panic has completely taken over.

Apparently, they fought and his phone fell to the floor. For a few minutes, they couldn't hear what was going on until Kihyun's screaming voice broke their heart.

" _Stop ! You monster !_ " 

They don't know exactly what was going on and that fact alone freaks Minhyuk out. After Kihyun's scream, they had heard slapping sounds and that was what freaked Shownu out. But when Kihyun began yelling again, they just couldn't take it anymore.

" _Fuck you, disgusting perverted freak !_ "

" _Shut your fucking mouth, whore !_ "

" _No ! Get off me ! GET OFF!_ "

But then suddenly, silence. That was thirty seconds ago and since then, they've been running as fast as they can to the studio.

They arrive two minutes later and bang at the closed door.

"Kihyun ! Kihyun, are you okay ?!" Minhyuk yells, now crying too.

Something happened, something bad. And he knows it. 

"Mr.Cho, open this fucking door !" Jooheon screams with him.

"It's not working, guys. Step out." Shownu instructs angrily.

He takes a few steps back and kicks the door, but it doesn't even buldge a little bit.

"Fuck !" he shouts, before going at it again.

"Jooheon, go to the janitor to get the keys !" Minhyuk asks.

"Y..Yeah ! I'll be right back." he says, walking towards the janitor room.

"Fast !" Minhyuk yells.

Shownu still kicks the door without succeeding and Minhyuk stops him.

"Shownu, stop ! It's not working and you're gonna hurt yourself !" 

"I don't fucking care ! This asshole could be killing Kihyun right now for all we know !" 

"And what good would it do if you were too hurt to even help take him down once we finally get inside ?! Just fucking stop !" Minhyuk says angrily.

Even though Minhyuk is usually really sweet, the sunshine of the band, he's so angry that even Shownu knows not to piss him off anymore than he already is. The guy can be really scary when it comes to someone he loves.

"O..Okay..." 

"I got it ! I got it !" Jooheon yells, running back with the studio key.

"Great, thanks !" Minhyuk tells him, grabbing the keys and opening the door as fast as he can.

They finally enter and are horrified by what they see inside.

Kihyun's unconscious body, on the floor, and Mr.Cho disgustingly rubbing himself on him. His face is burried in the crook of their friend's neck as he's slowly removing Kihyun's pants and sliding his hand into his underwear.

Kihyun's sweater is torn open, revealing his bruised stomach. When they look at his face, they can't believe their eyes.

Blood. So much _blood_. It's everywhere on the floor from what they suppose have been a hard blow on his head. His brow bone as well as his inferior lip are bleeding. But most importantly, he doesn't move. 

He's so pale he almost seems dead.

"Get away from him, bastard !" Shownu runs to them, punching Mr.Cho in the face as soon as he's close enough.

Minhyuk doesn't say anything, he's paralysed with fear. He just begins shaking like a leaf, too scared to even move.

"Kihyun !" Jooheon runs by his friend's side while Shownu takes care of their singing teacher.

The leader can't stop hitting the asshole. He can't possibly calm down after seeing what this man did and was about to do to his friend. 

"Don't !" he punches him.

"Fucking !" another punch.

"Touch !" he punches again.

"Him !" the last punch knocks Mr.Cho out.

"Shownu ! Calm down, he's had enough !" Jooheon yells, trying to break through Shownu's mind.

The leader pants heavily before turning to his hurt friend.

"Kihyun..." he whispers, kneeling in front of his still frame.

Jooheon looks up to Minhyuk, seeing how freaked out he is. He eyes Shownu to see if everything's under controle before standing up and walking softly to his frightened friend.

"Call an ambulance." he tells Shownu before focusing on Minhyuk.

"Min..?" he asks.

But he doesn't respond, his eyes glued to Kihyun.

"Minhyuk, he'll be fine. This bastard hurt him, but he'll make it. He's our Kihyunie after all." he smiles a bit, trying to reassure his friend.

Minhyuk tries to mumble something and takes a few steps towards Kihyun.

"K..Ki.." he whispers.

"Come with me, we'll take care of him." Jooheon grabs his hand gently and leads him towards Kihyun's bloody body.

They both kneel in front of him and Minhyuk takes his hand in his.

"Ki...Kihyunie..." he starts sobbing.

Jooheon sighs, patting Minhyuk's hair soothingly.

"He'll be fine. He has to be." he says softly.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Kihyunie. If only we had arrived earlier, none of this would have happened..." Minhyuk whimpers, clinging to his bestfriend's hand.

"We all sensed something was wrong but did nothing..." Jooheon murmurs sadly.

"M..Min...?" they hear a faint whisper.

The three friends look at Kihyun's face as he's slowly opening his eyes.

"Kihyun." Shownu grins in relief.

"K..Ki..." Minhyuk sobs more.

"M..Minhyuk... I knew y..you'd come..." Kihyun smiles as best as he can.

"I'm so sorry, Kihyunie... I shouldn't have left you alone with him, we knew he was ill-intentioned." he answers.

"It's..It's not your f..fault." Kihyun just smiles.

"He's right, Min. It's not your fault, it's this asshole's." Shownu reassures him.

Kihyun tries to move but everything hurts.

"Don't move, Ki. Your head is bleeding, the hospital said to wait for the ambulance and not to move you until they're here." Shownu instructs.

Kihyun's eyes suddenly grow wide.

"N..No ! No h..hospital !" his throat is really painful.

"We _had_ to call the ambulance, Kihyun. I'm really sorry but you're badly injured." Jooheon adds.

"No, no, n..no ! Please, d..don't call the a..ambulance..." he begs Minhyuk.

"We didn't have any choice, Kihyunie... You need help, and quickly." his bestfriend answers, looking at all the blood.

Kihyun sighs, bringing his hands on his face. Nobody says anything, giving him the time. He looks down at his clothes and seems to realize something.

"W..What happened...?!" he asks Minhyuk in horror.

"W..We'll talk about this when you'll feel better, Ki." he answers, embarassed.

"Min. I need to k..know." he whispers seriously.

"He hasn't gone all the way, Kihyun. He obviously intended to though." Shownu explains seriously.

Kihyun looks at him, he had completely forgotten that Jooheon and Shownu had also witnessed this awful scene.

He sighs, putting his hands on his face again.

"Oh m..my God..." he coughs with pain.

His throat is really killing him now and even breathing hurts.

"Don't speak if it hurts, Kihyun. We'll talk about it all at home when you're better." Jooheon mumbles softly.

A worried and uneasy silence falls upon the four members. After a few seconds, they only hear little sobs coming from their injured friend. He cries more and more and there's nothing they can possibly do to make it better. 

But suddenly, they all hear his weak voice in their mind.

" _I'm sorry... I''m so sorry, guys._ " 

Minhyuk frowns, slowly grabbing Kihyun's hands in his. He looks at his crying face to see if he's actually talking.

But Kihyun looks back at him, apologizing again and again without even opening his mouth.

" _I'm disgusting, dirty... I'm so sorry..._ " he confesses to them mentally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think of this very long chapter ? It was really great to write it and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do !
> 
> There was a lot of location changes during this chapter and I hope they weren't too confusing. I wanted all the actions to happen at the same time but I know that for a reader it can be pretty complex. I really tried to make it as clear as possible but let me know if it's too unsettling.
> 
> Also, I hope that the singing lesson (first part) wasn't too technical (breathing techniques and all). I'm a classical singer myself so for me it seemed clear but if it's too precise or detailed, please let me know !
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, please like and comment !
> 
> Love you all !


	7. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so it's clear for everyone, everything in italic are thoughts (now shared with the others) and therefore not spoken out loud.
> 
> Also... You're gonna hate me so much, I'm so sorry !
> 
> Enjoy this chapter !

" _I'm disgusting, dirty... I'm so sorry..._ " Kihyun confesses to them mentally.

"Stop it, Kihyunie. You're not disgusting or dirty, you're too good for this world so please don't blame yourself for what happened." Minhyuk answers.

"Minhyuk's right, Kihyun. This bastard of a teacher is the disgusting one and it takes every nerve in my body not to kill him right here, right now." Shownu adds.

Kihyun just shakes his head and sobs more.

" _Please, c..could you cover m..me...?_ " he asks them in their mind.

"Of course..." Jooheon whispers, taking his jacket off and placing it on Kihyun's shaking body.

Now that he takes a better look at his friend's stomach, Jooheon feels more and more angry. 

" _Gosh I wanna kill this asshole for hurting Kihyun so much !_ " he thinks to himself, but Minhyuk looks at him with a startled look.

"We have to take care of Kihyunie first." Minhyuk answers his friend's unspoken rage.

"You heard that ?!" Jooheon asks him.

"Yeah, we all did." Shownu responds.

"What's going on, how can we understand each other without even speaking ?" Jooheon says, confused.

"I don't know, maybe Kihyun's distress and our general worried state brought us closer." Minhyuk answers.

"Yeah, since we all have strange powers maybe we somehow connected and can now communicate without actually speaking." Shownu adds.

"But why can't we hear the other's thoughts then ? They must be so worried now." Jooheon asks.

"I didn't even think about that, maybe if we try to focus on them for a sec..." Minhyuk's suddenly cut by three panicked voices in his mind.

" _What's going on ?!_ " they all hear Wonho's voice in their mind.

" _Seriously, guys ! Please say something !_ " Hyungwon's worried tone follows.

"That's amazing." Jooehon exclaims out loud.

Shownu focuses and finally succeeds in connecting with his other team members.

" _Guys, calm down._ " he thinks to the others.

" _Shownu ! What's going on ?!_ " Changykun thinks back.

" _He's injured but the ambulance is on its way._ " Minhyuk says in their mind.

" _We're on our way too._ " Hyungwon states seriously.

" _Oh my God, he's injured ? What happened ?! Why did Mr.Cho..._ " Wonho thinks but is cut by Kihyun's faint voice in his their mind.

" _H..Hi guys.._ "

" _God, Kihyunie... Are you okay ?_ " Hyungwon asks in concern.

" _Don't worry a..about me, I'm fine._ " he explains weakly.

"You're so not fine." Shownu whispers out loud.

" _They don't need to k..know._ " Kihyun thinks, without noticing that everybody is listening.

" _We can all hear you, Ki._ " Wonho answers.

" _S..Sorry._ " he responds, mentally face palming himself.

" _He'll be fine, the ambulance just needs to fucking hurry._ " Jooheon explains, looking at his injured friend.

Minhyuk follows his eyes and notices that there's more and more blood flowing from Kihyun's head.

"Guys, look." he points it out.

Shownu and Jooheon see the blood and begin panicking.

"Oh my God... It's not stopping." Jooheon mumbles.

"What's taking the paramedics so fucking long ?!" Shownu gets angry.

" _Guys, I'm not feeling w..well.._ " Kihyun whispers mentally.

" _What's going on ?!_ " Hyungwon answers.

"It's gonna be okay, Ki. You'll be fine." Minhyuk reassures his bestfriend.

" _It h..hurts..._ " Kihyun adds, trying to touch his head with his right hand.

When he finally reaches the back of his head, he sees blood on his fingers.

" _W..What..._ " he thinks in panic.

"You're just bleeding a bit, but it's gonna be fine." Shownu tries to calm him down but he begins panting frantically.

Kihyun trashes, trying to sit but his friends won't let him.

"Stop, Kihyun. You're bleeding, please stay still." Shownu adds.

In the motion, Kihyun spots Mr.Cho slowly coming back to his senses. He tenses and crawls away in panic.

"N..No..." he whispers with his broken voice.

  
His three friends look at Mr.Cho suddenly. Minhyuk turns back toward Kihyun's trembling body, he's trying to get away from his abuser.

"It's okay, Kihyun. He won't hurt you anymore. We're here, you're safe." he reassures him.

" _Guys ! We can feel Kihyun freaking out, what the fuck's going on ?!_ " Wonho asks mentally.

" _H..He's back.._ " Kihyun answers in panic.

Shownu almost growls and stands up, still eyeing their singing teacher.

"You really can punch, kid." Mr.Cho mumbles.

"Fucking stay where you are. If you take even one step in his direction, I won't hesitate to punch you again." Shownu threatens.

The singing teacher just laughs.

"I wonder, how did you figure it out ?" Mr.Cho adds.

"It doesn't fucking matter, you sick bastard." Jooheon stands up too.

Kihyun is completely freaking out on the floor and losing more and more blood. 

"Kihyun, you have to calm down." Minhyuk advices worriedly.

"N..No... Stay away..." he stares at the singing teacher and continues pulling back.

"Well, your friends didn't let me finish our little _thing_. So I guess I'll just have to get rid of them." Mr.Cho smiles a sick grin.

"You won't touch him. I swear to you..." but Shownu is interrupted by Mr.Cho, suddenly charging him.

They both fall on the floor but Mr.Cho is quickly back on his feet, looking threateningly at Jooheon.

"Shownu !" Minhyuk yells.

"You're gonna pay for what you did." Jooheon punches him in the guts.

"Wow, that hurts, kid." he retorts with his sickening grin.

Mr.Cho grabs Jooheon by the shoulders and pushes him on the singing room's floor.

"Bastard !" Shownu growls, getting back on his feet and attacking the teacher.

"P..Please stop..." Kihyun sobs on the ground.

Minhyuk stares at the scene but is too worried about his injured friend to leave his side.

"You really are a lively one !" Mr.Cho laughs at Shownu.

He grabs his waist and forces him in the singing room where Jooheon is already getting up.

When they're both inside, Mr.Cho closes the door and locks them in.

They look helplessly at the door's window.

"No ! Let us out !" Jooheon bangs at the door.

"Open this fucking door !" Shownu yells.

"Now. It's finally just us." Mr.Cho turns with a smiling face.

  
The singing teacher walks threateningly towards Minhyuk and Kihyun's trembling body. Minhyuk looks at him in horror, feeling completely powerless in front of this tall dangerous man.

Kihyun is still panickly sobbing on the floor.

"P..Please.." he whispers.

Mr.Cho composes himself and glares at Kihyun's shaking body.

"Why did you dress back, honey ? We're not done yet." he grins.

Suddenly the reality of the situation hits Minhyuk. He stands up in front of Kihyun, decided to bravely protect his already injured bestfriend.

"Over my dead body." Minhyuk argues firmly.

"Oh right, you're still here." Mr.Cho sighs.

Minhyuk stares at him angrily.

" _I'll protect you, Kihyunie._ " he mentally reassures his sobbing friend.

  
" _Guys, hurry ! He locked us up in the singing room !_ " Shownu shouts mentally.

" _What ?!_ " Wonho, Hyungwon and Changkyun think at the same time.

" _Minhyuk and Kihyun are alone with him right now ! How far are you ?_ " Jooheon adds in panic.

" _Still in the taxi !_ " Hyungwon answers mentally.

" _Please hurry up, he can do anything to them in the meantime !_ " Shownu begs them.

"Stay where you are." Minhyuk tells Mr.Cho angrily.

"Or what ? You're gonna scare me to death ?" Mr.Cho laughs a bit.

Minhyuk realizes how powerless he actually is. If neither Shownu nor Jooheon could stop him, how would he protect Kihyun...?

Mr.Cho takes a few steps towards them.

"Back off ! I fucking told you to stay away." Minhyuk repeats, unconvincely.

" _I don't even have a weapon..._ " he thinks, hoping the others will help him.

" _Stay calm, Min. Aim for the knees._ " Wonho instructs in his head.

Mr.Cho laughs again and walks up to Minhyuk's level. The teenager tries to push him away, he aims for his knees but Mr.Cho easily jodges him.

"Ahaha you really think I don't already know the trick, kid ?" he smiles.

In a last hope, Minhuyk punches him in the face. After the blow, Mr.Cho looks at him angrily.

"I'm getting _really_ sick of you guys punching me !" he shouts.

The singing teacher grabs Minhyuk's hands and pins him against the wall. 

"Let me go !" he yells.

"Min !" Kihyun cries out painfully.

"Since you won't let me finish my business, I have no other choice but to tie you up, kid !" Mr.Cho explains furiously.

He grabs a mic wire and ties Minhyuk's hands behind his back. The young singer trashes but Mr.Cho is actually really strong and there's nothing he can do.

"Don't fucking touch me, you psycho !" Minhyuk shouts again.

"Shut up or I'll gag you with your slutty friend's sweater." the singing teacher answers coldly.

"Don't you dare hurt him !" he argues.

"Oh don't worry, it's gonna be extremely enjoyable." Mr.Cho disgustingly winks at Minhyuk's horrified face.

In the background, Minhyuk distinguishes Kihyun weakly standing up. He grabs his hurting side and steadies himself.

"Get the hell away from him." Kihyun says threateningly.

Mr.Cho turns around, looking at him with a laugh.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, I really didn't want to fuck an unconscious boy." he smirks.

"Run, Kihyun !" Minhyuk yells.

"Release him." Kihyun tells Mr.Cho.

"Oh, so now you're worried about your pitiful friend ? Ahaha ! That's amazing, don't you think it would be wiser to think about your own situation ?" the teacher laughs harder.

As he finishes tying up Minhyuk's hands, he pushes him on the floor.

"I'm not gonna ask again, let him go." Kihyun says angrily.

Jooheon and Shownu look through the door's window, screaming at Kihyun to escape while he still can.

"Stop, Kihyun ! Run!" Shownu begs, still banging at the door.

"Get away from them, asshole !" Jooheon yells.

"You really think there's anything you can actually do to stop me, don't you ? Well, let's give it a try then." Mr.Cho grins, launching forward to attack Kihyun's unsteady frame.

He desperately tries to punch him and succeeds on slapping his face.

"Please, Kihyun ! Stop it, please run..." Minhyuk begins sobbing.

"I won't leave you behind !" Kihyun answers, panting.

His head is really hurting and he feels his energy quickly fading.

" _I won't be able to keep this up for much longer..._ " he thinks.

But suddenly, Mr.Cho grabs his ankle and tackles him on the ground.

"Argh !" Kihyun cries out, his head hitting the floor once again.

"Kihyun !" Minhyuk, Jooheon and Shownu scream at the same time.

The main singer is completely disoriented when Mr.Cho grabs his hands and places them above his head.

"Get off me !" Kihyun screams.

He kicks his attacker in the balls and gets free from his sick embrace.

"Aaah ! You're gonna pay for this !" Mr.Cho curls on himself, covering his midsection.

Kihyun hurries up and runs to Minhyuk, trying to release him from his ties. He has no idea how he can still have enough energy to even move but it doesn't matter right now.

"Kihyun, you have to escape !" Minhyuk begs.

The singer doesn't answer as he's desperately trying to set his friend free. His hands are shaking so much that the process takes too long and Mr.Cho grabes his feet again.

"Come here, fuck boy !" he yells.

He pulls Kihyun's weak body towards him in one big motion.

"Kihyun !" Minhyuk screams.

"Let him go !" Shownu shouts.

Mr.Cho gets on top of Kihyun who's still trashing like crazy. He straddles him and strangles him like earlier.

"S..Sto..p..." Kihyun mumbles, grasping for air.

But the teacher doesn't let go and squeezes his throat even more.

The last drops of energy leave his body and his arms fall limply on his side as he stops trashing.

"Oh my God, Kihyun..." Minhyuk sobs frantically.

" _He's gonna kill him and it's all my fault...!_ " he thinks.

" _Stop it, Minhyuk ! It's not the right time to be freaking out !_ " Jooheon answers mentally.

" _He's right, we gotta do something !_ " Shownu adds in panic.

Minhyuk suddenly figures it out and charges at the abuser with his whole body.

"Leave him alone !" he knocks him away from his choking friend.

Kihyun violently catches his breath, panting heavily on the floor. After a few seconds, he looks up at Minhyuk and reaches forward but Mr.Cho is quickly back and kicks him in the stomach.

"Argh!" he cries out, rolling on the ground.

Mr.Cho then grabs Minhyuk by the hair and drags him to the other side of the room.

"Minhyuk !" Jooheon yells.

The teacher attaches the ties to the nearest piece of furniture.

"You try something like that again and I'll really kill him, understood ?!" Mr.Choi points at Kihyun's coughing body.

Minhyuk doesn't answer, just glares back.

"Now ! I don't have much time left !" the teacher hurries to Kihyun's side.

He grabs his waist and rolls his weak body on his back. 

"No ! Get away from him !" Shownu screams from behind the locked door.

When Mr.Cho presses his face against Kihyun's neck, the main vocalist understands that there's nothing he can do anymore.

"Now, you're finally mine." the teacher whispers in lust.

  
Kihyun tries to move but the older man puts all his weight on his exhausted body. 

" _Guys ! Where the fuck are you ?!_ " Jooheon shouts mentally.

" _Trapped in the traffic ! We're going as fast as we can !_ " Wonho answers in panic.

" _It's not fast enough, he's gonna hurt Kihyun !_ " Shownu thinks in horror.

Kihyun tries to analyze the situation : Shownu and Jooheon are trapped inside the singing studio and Minhyuk is tied up on the other side of the room, he knows that nothing will stop this man from doing exactly what he wants.

" _I..I'm sorry.._ " Kihyun whispers mentally.

"No, don't say that ! You can still fight, Kihyun !" Minhyuk yells.

" _Min... I don't have any energy left, my head is throbing so much I can barely stay conscious and my side is killing me, there's nothing left for me to do.._ " he adds weakly.

Mr.Cho pulls Kihyun's sweater up, revealing his bruised stomach. He then unzips his own pants.

"I don't even have enough time to go all the way with your crap !" Mr.Cho exclaims angrily.

He grabs his already hard member and begins touching himself and placing little kisses down Kihyun's trembling chest.

"Oh my god..." Shownu whispers.

Kihyun's head is turned to the side and he looks at his best friend in complete panic and horror.

"M..Min.." he whispers, starting to cry.

"L..Look at me, Ki. It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay." he tries to reassure his bestfriend.

" _I'm scared._ " Kihyun answers mentally.

"I know you are, I'm scared too. But you have to focus on me, okay ? Just look at me." he says warmly.

Minhyuk does his best to take Kihyun's mind away from the disgusting man rubbing himself on his naked stomach.

" _I..I don't want this, I don't want this, Min..._ " he continues sobbing.

" _Of course you don't, it's fine. You have to focus on my voice now._ " Minhyuk says mentally.

Kihyun closes his eyes and focuses on his bestfriend's voice as instructed. But Mr.Cho forces him to look back at him.

"I won't let you get away from this. Can you feel it, slut ? See how your digusting body arouses me ?" he grins.

"P..Please stop..." Kihyun begs between his frantic sobs.

"Stop ? But I'm having such a wonderful time !" Mr.Cho laughs.

Kihyun closes his eyes, too digusted to even look at the scene anymore. He's feeling sick and dirty.

" _P..Please..make it stop..._ " he thinks helplessly.

Minhyuk concentrates to use his mood changing power to soothe Kihyun's panic but his friend's distress is too much and there's nothing he can do except watch in horror.

"I'm begging you, let him go." he whispers in despair.

"Well, since we're finally at peace for our business, why don't we take thinks a bit further ?" Mr.Cho smiles coldly.

He grabs Kihyun's pants and very slowly places more kisses down his bare chest.

  
"I want him to pay." Jooheon says angrily.

He's so full of rage that he can feel his fire power slowly breaking through his control. His hands start heating up.

"Jooheon, stop it. If you start a fire in here, we'll both end up grilled and it won't help Kihyun." Shownu tells him.

"I'm sorry, I just can't calm down." he answers.

As he's staring at his friend's harasser, a little sparkle of fire explodes in the main room. Minhyuk looks at it in awe.

" _Jooheon..._ " he thinks.

" _I'm sorry, I can't control myself anymore._ " he answers furiously in his mind.

A new solution immerges in Minhyuk's mind.

" _No, that's perfect ! Light up a fire in our room, Jooheon !_ " he thinks to his friend.

" _What ?!_ " Shownu responds mentally.

" _But it's too dangerous for you and Kihyun !_ " Jooheon argues.

" _We're past that, guys ! You have to start a fire to distract him, this bastard could rape Kihyun at any moment now !_ " Minhyuk explains worriedly.

He turns back to Kihyun's sobbing frame. Mr.Cho is still stroking himself on top of him and he's aiming at his underwear now.

"Do it, _now_ !" Minhyuk shouts out loud.

Mr.Cho looks suddenly at him, wondering why the hell he's screaming like that. But his thoughts are abrupty interrupted by a violent fire taking over the right side of the room.

"What the fuck ?!" he stands up, finally letting go of Kihyun's trembling body.

Mr.Cho tries to extinguish the fire with his jacket but it grows more and more. The room heats up progressively and he begins coughing because of the smoke.

"I gotta get out of here before everything catches fire !" he mumbles, heading for the exit door.

He takes a look at Kihyun's coughing body on the floor before running away.

"Kihyun ! Please get up, you gotta get us out of here !" Minhyuk pleads.

But his injured friend is practically passing out at this point.

" _I..I can't..stand up, everything's so b..blurry now.._ " he thinks weakly, already seeing black spots clouding his vision.

"I know you're exhausted, I promise we'll let you rest all you want after this. But first you have to untie me, Ki." Minhyuk shouts.

Kihyun crawls towards his bestfriend, coughing more and more because of the smoke. He gets on his knees and weakly gets up.

"That's it, you can do it !" Minhyuk continues yelling.

Kihyun takes a few steps more and finally reaches his bestfriend. He does his best to untie him and finally succeeds after what feels like forever.

"Yes !" Minhyuk cheers, hugging Kihyun.

But the young singer can't take it anymore and faints in his bestfriend's arms.

"Kihyun !" Shownu yells from behind the locked up singing room.

Minhyuk thinks for a second and lays his collapsed friend on the ground. He runs to the singing room's door and unlocks it.

"Thanks Min !" Jooheon shouts.

They hurry at Kihyun's side.

"We have to get out of here, the fire is already spreading !" Shownu instructs.

"I'm so sorry..." Jooheon apologizes for the fire.

"Are you kidding ? You saved Kihyun !" Minhyuk answers.

They pick Kihyun's unconscious body from the ground and take him outside. As they make their way out, they see people coming in with fire extinguishers. 

  
When they're finally outside this awful burning studio, they lay Kihyun down and kneel in front of him.

"Guys !" Wonho shouts from the other side of the corridor.

"What's going on ? Why is the studio on fire ?!" Hyungwon asks worriedly.

" _I had to set it on fire, it was the only way to get Mr.Cho off Kihyun._ " Jooheon answers mentally.

" _We can't talk about it out loud, if someone heard us Jooheon could be in deep trouble for setting the studio on fire._ " Shownu adds.

"Alright." Wonho nodds.

They join Kihyun and the others on the floor and take in his awful state.

"Oh my God..." Changkyun whispers.

Wonho runs his hand through Kihyun's hair but is stopped by Minhyuk.

"His head was heavily bleeding earlier, we shouldn't touch his hair too much..." he mumbles sadly.

"How could something like that happen...?" Hyungwon says softly, tears in his eyes.

"Guys ! Are you all okay ?!" Mr.Hyun, their manager, arrives in a hurry.

"No, we're not okay ! What the fuck did you do, hiring such a perverted psycho as our singing teacher ?!" Shownu stands up furiously.

"I'm sorry, Mr.Cho surely has a perverted reputation but I didn't think he would do anything to you." Mr.Hyun apologizes.

"We'll talk about that later. Right now, Kihyun needs urgent medical help." Minhyuk stands up too.

"Where is the ambulance I called already half an hour ago ?!" Shownu says angrily.

"I sent them away." Mr.Hyun speaks up.

"You did _what_ ?!" Jooheon gets angry too.

"I had to, if we don't want this whole thing to go public, we have to avoid public hospitals and such." the manager explains.

"Are you fucking crazy ?! He's bleeding out and you only think about your fucking reputation ?!" Shownu shouts.

"With what Wonho explained to me already, I believe it's also in Kihyun's best interest not to let everybody knows he was sexually assaulted by his singing teacher." Mr.Hyun adds.

"I don't care ! He's severly injured and he needs help ! Now !" Minhyuk yells back.

"We'll take him to the nurse office." he answers.

"You really don't listen ! His head was heavily bleeding and I'm pretty sure the bastard broke a few of his ribs with how much he kicked and punched him !" Jooheon argues.

"I'm really sorry he got hurt so badly but I can't let this go public. What do you think people will think of the company if they knew we allow a sexual offender to teach here and attack our members ?!" Mr.Hyun defends himself.

Minhyuk takes a few steps back and looks at the current situation in horror.

Shownu, Jooheon and Mr.Hyun are yelling at each other, Kihyun is unconscious on the floor with Hyungwon crying by his side, people are running everywhere because of the fire... it's chaos everywhere.

He takes a deep breath and calms down. He lets his mood power take over the chaos and everyone slowly cool down.

"Minhyuk, why did you..." Jooheon begins but is cut by Minhyuk's collected voice.

"Everybody, calm down. We're wasting time when Kihyun desperately needs medical help." he explains softly.

Nobody says anything, they only look at him. Minhyuk turns to Mr.Hyun.

"The nurse office won't be enough, Mr.Hyun. I understand that you won't step down and take him to the hospital though, so maybe we could take him to another facility. A private clinic maybe ?" he asks.

"H..Hum..Yeah, that should be fine, as long as it's somewhere quiet and away from the press." Mr.Hyun finally gives in.

"Great. I suppose you came here with the band van ?" Minhyuk says.

The manager just nods.

"Alright. Shownu, Wonho, could you carry Kihyun to the car while Mr.Hyun and I search for the appropriate clinic ?" he asks them.

"Of course." Wonho agrees immediately.

"Are you really okay with this whole private bullshit, Minhyuk ?!" Shownu argues.

"I don't fucking care, Shownu. All I care about right now is getting Kihyun the help he desperately needs and you're just wasting his time by arguing with Mr.Hyun." he snaps back.

They all get in the van and head to the clinic Mr.Hyun and Minhyuk spotted a few minutes earlier.

  
When they arrive at the clinic, a few nurses take care of Kihyun. They clean up all the blood and patch his head. 

The whole band is restlessly waiting for someone to call them and explain Kihyun's state.

"Are you Mr.Yoo Kihyun's relatives ?" a tall doctor walks to them.

"Yeah, is he okay ?!" Minhyuk asks worriedly.

"He'll be fine. He lost a lot of blood and we had to give him a blood tranfusion. You luckily brought him here on time, another twenty minutes and his heart would have given away." the doctor explains.

"What about his ribs...? He took a few nasty blows on the side..." Shownu whispers.

"He has three cracked ribs, it's not broken though." he answers.

"Is he awake already ? Can we see him ?" Jooheon asks restlessly.

"He's still unconscious. With this kind of head trauma it could take a while for him to wake up." 

"Oh my God..." Hyungwon sighs.

"I'm sorry but I have to ask ; what happened ? If he was harmed by someone I have to report to the police, it's procedure." the doctor asks seriously.

Shownu is about to explain the whole ordeal but he's cut by Mr.Hyun.

"It was an accident. He fell down the stairs and hit his head." the manager explains.

They all look at him with betrayed eyes.

"He fell down the stairs ?" the doctor repeats.

"Exactly, that's probably how he cracked his ribs too." Mr.Hyun assures.

"And you are ?" the doctor asks with a suspicious look.

"His manager." he answers.

"Well, Mr.Manager. Let me tell you this ; I'm a doctor with a lot of experience and mostly I'm not a fool. From what I saw, he was kicked numerous times to the stomach and his head injury obviously comes from repeated blows. His brow bone was bleeding and there were clear marks of strangulation around his neck." the doctor argues.

Minhyuk closes his eyes as memories of Kihyun choking under Mr.Cho's disgusting hands flash through his mind.

"So don't take me for an idiot and tell me the truth." the doctor finishes.

"He was assaulted." Jooheon tells the doctor before Mr.Hyun can make up more lies.

"By who ?" the doctor asks.

"Someone from our staff. But it was a one time thing, it won't happen again." Mr.Hyun tries to cover the truth.

"I will talk with Mr.Yoo when he wakes up and we'll decide if he wants to press charges." he answers.

The doctor turns towards the band members.

"You were present when it happened ?" he asks them.

"Shownu, Jooheon and I were here, yeah." Minhyuk replies.

"Do I need to ask for a rape kit and for a complete STD search ?" the doctor says seriously.

Jooheon, Shownu and Minhyuk look at each other in worry.

"It's probably not necessary." Mr.Hyun answers for them, still trying to minimize the situation.

"I'm not asking _you_." the doctor doesn't even look his way, his eyes are still on the three confused boys.

"H..He didn't go all the way..." Minhyuk whispers.

"We got him off Kihyun before it could go any further..." Shownu adds.

"Alright, thank you for helping your friend and for bringing him here. He's in good hands." the doctor warmly smiles at them.

A nurse comes out of nowhere and nodds at him.

"You can go see him now." he says softly, leading them to his room.

When they enter the quiet room, Kihyun is still unconscious. A few IV are taped to his arm and an oxygen mask covers most of his bruised face.

"Oh my God, Kihyunie..." Mihyuk whispers, approaching nervously.

When he reaches the bed, he's scared to touch him. He seems so fragile, so weak...

"He'll be fine, and it's thanks to you." the doctor reassures the whole group.

"Thank you so much for taking care of him, doctor." Shownu tells him with tears in the eyes.

He usually isn't one to easily cry but seeing their frail friend on this medical bed really breaks his heart. Lately he's started to feel more and more addicted to his little nagging, his beautiful smile, even his presence only. And now, something like this happened...

"You can stay with him as long as you want, just call for me when he wakes up." the doctor says before turning to Mr.Hyun.

They all look at the both of them.

"As for you, I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave." the doctor tells him.

"Me ?! Why ?" Mr.Hyun argues.

"Mr.Yoo needs to be surrounded by people who love and support him right now." he explains.

"I'm his manager, of course I support him." the manager answers.

"You just lied to my face, saying he only fell down some stairs when the truth is that someone apparently violently sexually assaulted him. I don't call that support." 

"I..I just didn't want to make it more complicated than it already is." Mr.Hyun tries to defend himself.

"It's not complicated, it's even quite simple. Someone hurt this young man, badly, and needs to be punished for doing so. It really is easy, his friends saw everything and will be able to identify his attacker. I don't see what could be so complicated that you thought it would be fine to lie to me." the doctor is slowly getting angry.

"It's...It's not what you think.." 

"I need you to go, _now_. If I have to aks again, I'll call security." 

Mr.Hyun grabs his jacket and leaves furiously.

"You can talk to him casually, laughs and do your usual stuff in here, it will help him wake up." the doctor finally smiles before leaving too.

  
"Wow, I didn't expect that." Jooheon sighs.

"He's right, Mr.Hyun doesn't belong by his side." Shownu says, taking Kihyun's cold fragile hand in his.

Nobody talks for a few uncomfortable minutes.

"Kihyun wouldn't like that..." Minhyuk whispers.

"What are you talking about ?" Wonho asks.

"He wouldn't want us to be down and act nervously around him, even if he's injured." he explains.

"You're right, but what should we do then?" Hyungwon says.

Minhyuk thinks for a second.

"What time is it ?" he asks.

"Past dinner time." Changkyun answers.

"Well, what would we be doing if we were all at the dorm and that Kihyun wasn't hurt ?" Minhyuk questions.

"I don't know, Wonho and Changkyun would probably be playing video games while Kihyun and the rest of us quietly sing at the piano." Jooheon replies.

His eyes grow wide.

"Oh, I see..." he adds.

"We should sing something for him. He's always the one singing for us, let's repay him." Shownu says.

"Great ! But what should we sing ?" Wonho asks.

"He's been humming this Billie Eilish song for a few days now, I'm sure it would make him happy." Minhyuk answers.

They all look at Kihyun's still body with sad eyes and Shownu starts first.

" _Don't you know I'm no good for you?_

 _I've learned to lose you, can't afford to._ " he sings in a low tone.

" _Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'_

 _But nothin' ever stops you leavin'_ " Minhyuk joins him with a higher voice.

All eyes are glued to Kihyun.

" _Quiet when I'm comin' home and I'm on my own._ " Wonho sings with tears in his eyes.

They all harmonize and unify their voice.

" _I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that_

 _I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that_ " they all sing together.

At the sound of those warm loving voice, Kihyun's eyes flutter open.

He looks at them singing and a single tear falls down his cheek.

" _I could lie and say I like it like tat, like it like that..._ " he joins them mentally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it's gonna get better ! I promise, please don't hate me !


	8. Polaroids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Monbebe !
> 
> Before beginning this chapter, I just want to thank all of you for posting such kind and thoughtful comments on the last chapters (even though I tortured you with all this drama ^^') !
> 
> You guys are really amazing and it means so much to me that you appreciate and review this story ! Every single time I recieve a comment notification, it makes my day so much brighter, you have no idea ! I grin like an idiot all day ahahha !
> 
> So please continue commenting and supporting, it's a real pleasure to read you all !
> 
> Love you, enjoy this chapter !

"Doctor ! Kihyun is waking up !" Wonho runs out.

"How are you feeling, buddy ?" Shownu smiles softly at him.

Still a bit disoriented, Kihyun looks around him and begins to understand.

" _The..the hospital ?!_ " he thinks in panic.

He trashes and tries to get free from his oxygen mask and from all the IV's.

"Stop, Kihyun ! You're gonna hurt yourself !" Minhyuk says worriedly.

" _No, let me go ! I can't stay here !_ " he cries mentally.

Shownu and Jooheon grab his arms and pin him to the bed. At this moment, Kihyun's eyes open wide as flashbacks from his recent assault resurface.

"Aaaah ! Don't touch me ! Let go of me !" he screams out loud.

His throat is hurting but there's no way he'll let this asshole teacher get to him again.

"Kihyun, please calm down !" Jooheon yells.

"We're just trying to help so you don't hurt yourself !" Shownu adds.

But Kihyun doesn't stop struggling and soon enough begins hyperventilating.

"Guys ! Let go of his wrists, you're hurting him !" Minhyuk cries.

"But he'll try to get away..." Jooheon argues.

"No, look !" Minhyuk points at Kihyun's trembling body.

They let go of his wrists and the injured boy curls on himself, panting heavily and shaking like a leaf.

"Gosh, you scared him..." Hyungwon whispers, reaching for Kihyun's shoulders to try and reassure him.

At the second Hyungwon's finger touches Kihyun's trembling arm, he jumps in fear and curls even more on himself.

"P..Please..don't h..hurt me..." he whispers frantically, sobbing more and more.

"He's having a panic attack." Hyungwon mumbles sadly.

Seeing his bestfriend so afraid of them and completely freaking out breaks Minhyuk's heart. He sighs heavily and sits down next to Kihyun's bed.

" _Kihyunie..._ " he thinks.

The other members look at him with an intrigued glare.

" _Listen to my voice, Kihyunie. To my voice only._ " Minhyuk tells him mentally.

After a few seconds in silence, well except for Kihyun's heavy breathing, they finally hear their friend's weak voice.

" _M...Min..?_ " he whispers internally.

" _Yeah, it's me Kihyunie. Just me._ " Minhyuk thinks softly.

" _Min, I'm s..scared.._ " Kihyun answers in panic.

" _It's okay, Kihyunie. Why are you scared ?_ " he asks.

" _He's g..gonna hurt me again.._ " he sobs mentally.

" _No one's gonna hurt you anymore, Ki. I'm right here with you and so are the others._ " 

" _N..No, you're wrong ! I'm a..alone a..and he's here.. He's gonna u..undress me again.._ " Kihyun freaks out.

" _Calm down, Kihyun. Everything's fine, he's not here. You're safe now._ " Minhyuk uses his mood power to try and relax his bestfriend but it's unsuprisingly unsuccessful.

" _He'll c..come back..._ " Kihyun continues panicking.

" _He won't, we're far away from him. There's no reason to be afraid anymore, Kihyunie._ " Minhyuk explains soothingly.

" _R..Really...?_ " Kihyun finally gives in.

" _Really. You're at the clinic with us, the doctor checked on you earlier and said you'd be fine. You just have to open your eyes._ " 

" _I..I don't know.._ " Kihyun sobs a bit.

" _It's okay, take your time. We're right here by your side whenever you're ready._ " Minhyuk's voice soothes him.

They all wait for a few silent minutes and Kihyun finally opens his eyes nervously.

"G..Guys..?" he whispers with his broken voice.

"Welcome back, Kihyunie." Minhyuk smiles warmly.

"Hey there." Hyungwon says softly.

Shownu relaxes a bit, he feels awful for freaking Kihyun out earlier.

"How are you feeling, Kihyu..." Wonho is suddenly cut by Kihyun urgently getting out of bed.

"Kihyun ?!" Jooheon asks worriedly.

The injured boy doesn't answer and just throws himself in his friends arms. He brings them all to him and squeezes them in a tight hug.

He doesn't care that his ribs are screaming in pain, he needs immediate contact with the people he loves more than anything.

"Thank you... Thank you so much..." he sobs a bit.

"What's going on, Kihyun ?" Shownu whispers with concern.

"You saved me, thank you so much..." he continues crying.

Jooheon begins laughing a bit while returning the warm hug. 

"Don't worry about it, Ki." he smiles softly.

They all tighten their embrace around their injured friend, half laughing half sobbing.

"Now, now. Everything's fine now." Shownu pats Kihyun's back carefully.

He slowly calms down in their arms and they all begin laughing and cheering each other up.

"I..I don't know what I'd do without you.." he mumbles in embarassement.

"Well, you'd probably have less house cleaning to do." Wonho laughs a bit.

They all try their best to comfort Kihyun and they slowly succeed in making him relax.

"Who's gonna clean the house and make us dinner while you're at the hospital though ?" Hyungwon jokes with the others.

"Don't worry, Shownu-oppa will take care of us." Jooheon winks at him.

"Hey ! You're all grown ups, you can take care of yourself !" Shownu protests.

Their casual joking actually makes Kihyun grin a little.

"It's gonna sound lame but I think I'll actually miss your nagging a lot while you're at the hospital." Changkyun smiles.

Kihyun laughs truthfully at that but pain suddenly shoots through his right side. His breathing speeds up a bit and he grabs his ribs carefully.

"You shouldn't be out of bed, Ki. Let's get you settled." Shownu instructs gently.

Kihyun sighs but agrees nonetheless. His ribs and head are actually really painful and standing like that exhausts him.

The others slowly help him sit on his bed again and cover him with the blanket.

"Be careful." Jooheon says softly, untangling the IV's wires.

At this moment, Kihyun notices that his bestfriend has weirdly been extremely quiet. He turns towards Minhyuk worriedly, it's not like him to be the only silent one.

But when he looks at him, he sees Minhyuk crying silently.

"Min, what's going on..?" Kihyun whispers, reaching for him from his hospital bed.

"Ki..Kihyunie..." he mumbles, still crying heavily.

"Are you injured anywhere ? Where does it hurt ?" Kihyun worries.

"N..No, I'm not hurt Kihyunie..." Minhyuk continues sobbing.

Kihyun doesn't understand what's happening and strokes his tired fingers on Minhyuk's wet cheek.

"What's going on, then ?" he whispers warmly.

"I'm s..so sorry...I couldn't protect you..." Minhyuk cries even harder after saying it out loud.

Kihyun's taken aback by the confession and smiles a bit sadly.

"Oh, Min. You have nothing to be sorry for." he reassures him.

"B..But he hurt you so m..much and there was nothing I could do..." 

"You did everything you could, Min. Without you three, I'd probably be either dead or he would have..." he stops himself, horrified by the thought.

"Still, you're injured and he did all those awful things on top of you..." Minhyuk cries.

"Stop it, Minhyuk. Please...You're just hurting us both by dwelling on what happened." Kihyun begs him to stop.

His previous flashbacks were disgusting enough, he doesn't want to have another panic attack now.

"It's all my fault, I should have done more. I should have protected you from this sick pervert..." Minhyuk goes on, completely ignoring Kihyun's plea to stop.

"No, I told you it's not your fault." Kihyun argues.

"I wasn't able to.." but Minhyuk is interrupted by Kihyun's angry voice.

"Lee Minhyuk !" he says firmly.

The young man suddenly looks at him, coming back to his senses.

"You will listen to me now ! You did everything in your power to avoid this man from hurting me any further. _Everything_ ! You were the one who told me to set up an emergency contact, you were the one who came to find me with backup, you were the one who shielded me from him in an already dangerous situation. For God's sake, you even charged at him with cuffed hands just to get him off me !" Kihyun explains with determination.

"B..But.." Minhyuk tries to argue but is cut by his best friend again.

"No buts ! You saved me today, that's all. Stop thinking about what you could have done or said to make it better. Thanks to you I'm here, surrounded by my forever annoying friends." he winks at the other team members.

"He's right. If there's anyone to blame, it's Mr.Cho." Wonho says.

Kihyun flinches at the mention of the singing teacher's name and looks at Minhyuk with a grave and serious face.

"Without you, Jooheon and Shownu, he..he would have _raped_ me." Kihyun almost whispers.

Nobody dares to talk, taking in this awful reality.

"Let's be honest here, there's no point in denying the obvious. He'd have raped me and I would have been completely powerless..." Kihyun's voice breaks a bit.

"No, don't say that..." Minhyuk whispers.

"There's no other way of say it, Minhyuk. I hate it as much as you do, but that's the truth. So please, stop blaming yourself when all you did was save my life." a single tear falls from his pained eyes.

Minhyuk looks at him sadly before hugging him tightly.

"I'm so glad you're okay..." he whispers in his bestfriend's neck.

"I'm glad too, Min. I'm glad too." Kihyun sighs.

The other members smile warmly at the heartwarming scene.

"I was s..so scared, Kihyunie..." Minhyuk sobs a bit.

"I know, I was terrified too, Min." 

Kihyun pats his fluffy hair lovingly before speaking again.

"But I'm fine now, I'm safe." he smiles sadly.

Minhyuk cries for a little while more.

"I'm safe, Min. Don't worry..." Kihyun reassures him.

  
After a while, Minhyuk finally calms down and the doctor comes to meet Kihyun.

"I'm glad you're finally awake, Mr.Yoo." he says warmly.

"Thank you, doctor. And thank you for helping me earlier." Kihyun tries to bow but his ribs hurt too much.

"How are you feeling ?" the doctor asks.

"My right side hurts a lot and my head is pounding but otherwise I feel fine." Kihyun smiles as best as he can.

"You don't have to pretend, Mr.Yoo. What about your neck and face ?" 

"My thoat hurts whenever I'm talking and my neck is really stiff." he admits with a blush.

"Well, I advise you to speak as little as possible and I'll give you painkillers for your neck." the doctor instructs.

"Thank you, doctor."

"I bet you must be exhausted, but I have a few questions for you." he asks.

"What is it ?" Kihyun answers honestly.

"You have to tell me what exactly happened. In case of suspected assault, I have to report it to the police." the doctor explains seriously.

"T..The police...?" Kihyun replies nervously.

"Yeah, they will open an investigation to take down the man who assaulted you." 

"I..I'm not sure..." Kihyun mumbles.

"It's in your best interest, Mr.Yoo. I'll give you until tomorrow morning to think about it." 

"T..Thank you." Kihyun is grateful not to be pressured into this.

The doctor nods and leaves after checking Kihyun's vitals.

"Why didn't you tell him, Kihyun ? This bastard needs to be punished for what he did to you !" Wonho says angrily.

"It's not as simple as that..." Kihyun whispers.

"What's the problem ?" Chagkyun asks worriedly.

Kihyun takes a deep breath before looking at them sadly.

"There's something you need to know first." he sighs.

Shownu understands and fears the upcoming discussion.

"What is it ?" Hyungwon says, coming closer.

They all sit around his bed, making the atmosphere more intimate and personal. Minhyuk uses his power to put everyone's nerves at ease.

When they're all relaxed, Kihyun starts explaining. 

"I guess it all began when I was a kid. You probably don't know about that but I had a little brother named Yun. Our mother passed away when we were still young and my dad had to raise us by himself." he breathes slowly.

Minhyuk places a hand on his shoulder, showing his unspoken support.

"My father was a violent man and he began taking it on Yun and I a little while after my mom died." 

At that, everybody looks at him with horrified eyes. Shownu clenches his fists in anger.

"I didn't want Yun to suffer his moods so I took the blows and protect him from our dad for many years." he stops himself, suddenly extremely conscious about what he's about to confess to his closest friends.

"What a bastard..." Hyungwon whispers.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Kihyun..." Wonho adds.

"B..But, what does it have to do with Mr.Cho...?" Changkyun asks nervously.

"Well at the time, my father had a job at the congress and apparently, him and Mr.Cho knew each other from there." Kihyun explains.

"So, Mr.Cho is one of your father's friends ?" Shownu asks with a curious look.

"Yeah, they apparently were close enough for my father to tell him everything he put me through at home..." Kihyun whispers.

"What ?!" Wonho exclaims.

"So, is it because Mr.Cho is your father's friend that you don't want to report him ?" Hyungwon asks.

"Not really, no. I don't want to report him because he threatened to tell everybody about what my dad used to do to me. He said he'd go to the press and expose my abusive childhood publicly." Kihyun says sadly.

They don't say anything, still trying to fully understand.

"Nobody will blame you, Kihyun. Your father is the one who hurt you, you did nothing wrong." Jooheon argues.

Kihyun gulps painfully before looking at him with tainted eyes.

"Well, thing is, my father didn't just hit me from time to time..." he whispers.

Jooheon frowns in confusion and worry.

"What else did he do to you, Kihyun...?" the young man mumbles warily.

Kihyun looks down in shame and Minhyuk sits on his bed with him.

"It's okay, Ki. You can tell them, they won't judge or blame you." he tells him softly.

The main vocalist takes a deep breath before mumbling.

"H..He s..sexually a..abused me..." he murmurs without looking up.

All the members are shocked and horrified. Their eyes widen at the revelation and some of them begin actually crying.

Shownu feels anger overwhelming him.

All the objects in the room begin levitating and Shownu pants in rage. Minhyuk notices the sudden scary aura coming from his friend and grabs his hand softly.

"Calm down, Shownu." he tells him.

Shownu comes back to his senses and looks at him with wide surprised eyes.

"W..What...?" he mumbles, not understanding.

"I know it upsets you, but you can't lash out right now." Minhyuk explains, pointing at the levitating furniture.

"I..I'm sorry..." Shownu places everything back and looks at Kihyun's trembling body.

"Kihyun, I..." Jooheon begins but stops himself, not sure about what he should say.

He's already crying and his throat feels more and more tight the more he thinks about what his friend has been through.

Kihyun slowly looks up at his friends with teary eyes.

"Please don't judge me... I never wanted..." he whispers painfully.

Hyungwon eyebrows furrow and he stops his hurt friend immediately.

"Kihyun, of course you never wanted _any_ of that. We don't judge you, in any way." he says soothingly.

"I..I know I'm disgusting, but p..please don't look at me differently..." Kihyun answers.

"You're not disgusting. You're amazing, Kihyun." Wonho replies.

"He's right. And please don't take our reaction for some kind of disgust or anything, we're just extremely shoked that someone could hurt you so much..." Changkyun adds.

"R..Really...?" Kihyun's eyes are full of hope.

"Of course, Kihyun. You endured so much pain during all those years, only to protect your little brother. There's nothing braver than that." Jooheon says warmly.

Shownu sits beside Kihyun on his bed and takes his hand. He slowly looks up at his injured friend.

"Kihyun. You are the strongest and most wonderful person I know. I'm so angry and furious that someone hurt you like that, I'm really sorry for losing my cool earlier. We all care so deeply about you that it physically hurts us to know that you've suffered so much during your childhood." Shownu explains gently.

Kihyun looks right into his honest eyes.

"We would never judge you for something like that, you understand me ? We love you so much and we just want to be able to protect you, okay ?" Shownu tells him with a little sad smile.

Kihyun just nods.

"I..I'm sorry..." he mumbles.

"You have nothing to apologize for, alright ? It's not your fault, you were just an innocent kid who bravely decided to put his brother's safety before his own. But you're not alone anymore, you have us and we'd give our life for you." Shownu smiles.

"We love you, Kihyunie." Minhyuk adds with a little grin.

Kihyun looks at all his friends with eyes full of tenderness and warmth. 

"Thank you, I love you too guys." he laughs gently.

  
The group talks for a while more and everybody hug tightly. When they all feel better, they come back on topic.

"So, what are we gonna do about Mr.Cho ?" Jooheon asks nervously.

"I frankly have no idea..." Wonho whispers.

"I can't risk reporting him, it would destroy our career." Kihyun thinks out loud.

"But we can't let him get away with what he did either." Minhyuk adds.

"First, we have to talk to Mr.Hyun to get him to fire this fucking singing teacher." Shownu says seriously.

"There's no way I'm firing him." Mr.Hyun suddenly pushes the door.

"Manager ?! What are you doing here ?!" Shownu immediately walks to him.

"I came to see how our injured boy is doing. I'm glad you're awake, Kihyun." the manager smiles at him.

"Hum..thanks ?" he mumbles.

"When do you think you'll be able to come to practice again ?" Mr.Hyun instantly asks.

"I don't really know, I haven't talked to the doctor yet." Kihyun explains.

"And what about singing sessions ?" the manager insists.

"Are you fucking serious ?!" Minhyuk gets angry.

"What ?" Mr.Hyun answers as if nothing's wrong.

"You're already pressuring him to get back to work ! He's injured and needs to rest !" Jooheon retorts.

"Just let him fucking breathe !" Minhyuk adds.

"We have a schedule to follow, I thought you of all people were on my side, Minhyuk." Mr.Hyun defends himself.

"I wasn't _on your side_ , earlier. I only wanted Kihyun to get medical help as fast as possible, okay ?!" the young man replies agressively.

"Well, I don't care if you're all against me. I'm your manager and you'll do what I tell you to." Mr.Hyun states.

"One thing for sure ; Kihyun isn't taking any singing session until you fire the bastard who hurt him." Shownu tells him.

Kihyun looks at their manager to watch his reaction. But Mr.Hyun only sighs.

"This won't work out. I can't fire him." he confesses.

"What the fuck are you talking about ?!" Jooheon almost shouts.

"Jooheoney, calm down. Let him explain." Kihyun soothes his friend.

" _Please keep it smooth, my head's really killing me._ " the injured boy mentally asks his friends.

Jooheon immediately settles down, accepting any request coming from Kihyun.

"As I was saying, I can't fire Mr.Cho." Mr.Hyun goes on.

"Why not ?" Hyungwon asks.

"For two reasons : one, I can't fire him just because I feel like it. If I were to make an actual report, I'd have to explain the whole incident and I'm not sure the company would be very kind to Kihyun if they knew what a mess he has created. They tend to take the teacher's side, all the time." Mr.Hyun explains.

"A mess _he_ created ?! I must have misheard, right ?!" Shownu works himself up.

"And what's the second reason ?" Wonho says nervously.

"This man has connections. He knows people from the congress, eats lunch with the director's family and I really doubt that we'd actually get anything done in the end." he finishes.

Kihyun thinks for a second before talking.

"So, you're telling me there's nothing we can do to get this man away from us...?" he asks seriously.

"I'm afraid not." Mr.Hyun answers apologetically.

"Well, you have to, at least, get us another singing teacher." Minhyuk almost begs.

"I'm only a manager, I can't ask for something like that."

An uncomfortable silence falls upon the hospital room. Shownu slaps his hand against a near table. 

"I'm not letting Kihyun anywhere near this psycho ! At least not on his own !" he shouts, completely furious.

"I understand that you're upset, but there's really nothing I can do, Shownu." Mr.Hyun apologizes.

At this, everybody starts getting angry and begins yelling at Mr.Hyun.

"And you pretend you care about us ! What a fucking joke !" Wonho says furiously.

"What do you think will happen next time ?! You really think he'll leave him alone just because we tell him to ?!" Changkyun yells.

"Are you even aware of the severity of this situation ?! The bastard could even kill Kihyun !" Jooheon joins the general rage.

"I won't let my best friend be molested by a fucking pervert just because you don't have the balls to stand up against your boss !" Minhyuk shouts too.

Kihyun watches the scene as if he wasn't even there before finally breaking out.

"Just fucking stop screaming !" he yells above all the other voices, making them immediately shut up.

Yelling like that hurts his voice and he begins coughing violently.

"Kihyun ! Are you okay ?!" Minhyuk asks worriedly.

"I'm...* _cough_ *...I'm fine, just please...* _cough_ *...stop shouting." he whispers painfully.

Kihyun composes himself before talking again.

"Look, I'm _really_ tired and my head is actually hurting a lot. So can we please talk about that tomorrow morning ?" he begs.

"But, we need to reschedule your dance practice and singing sessions..." Mr.Hyun argues.

"Not now. As you can figure out, I've had a really rough day and I'm exhausted. So all I need now is to sleep and rest until tomorrow morning." Kihyun says with a sigh.

"What about..."

"I said no ! As someone who wanted to just let me bleed out at the nurse office, you have absolutely no right to order me around right now. So leave, please." he answers coldly.

Mr.Hyun looks at him and hesitates. Should he really be leaving like that ?

"I'm not gonna ask again." Kihyun says threateningly.

"O..Okay, I'll see you all tomorrow then." Mr.Hyun finally leaves.

  
"Wow, I didn't think you could be so frightening, Ki." Minhyuk chuckles.

"I've been pushed around my whole life and right now I'm really sick of letting others decide what's right or wrong for me." he answers coldly.

"Hum...Everything's alright Kihyun ?" Shownu asks worriedly.

"No, I'm feeling dizzy and tired. I guess I've actually reached my limit." he sighs, laying back on his bed again.

To be completely honest, not only does his head feel like it's gonna explode any minute but his ribs are also on fire and his throat feels so tight that he can barely breathe correctly.

"Well, we'd better let you rest then." Shownu answers softly.

"Sorry for getting angry earlier, Ki. You told us you weren't feeling well but we still acted like complete jerks..." Minhyuk apologizes.

"It's fine, Min. Either way, I wanted him gone." Kihyun replies with a tired smile.

"That's great then. Let's go back at the dorm, guys. Kihyun needs his beauty sleep." Shownu winks at his chuckling friend.

But when he turns at his fellow members, they all watch him with disappointed eyes.

"What ?" he asks in surprise.

"I really don't want to leave Kihyun here on his own..." Minhyuk says with a little grimace.

"Me neither." Jooheon pouts cutely.

Soon enough, all the members make cute faces to be allowed to stay with their injured friend.

"Guys, Kihyun needs to rest. He can't put up with us playing around in this state." the leader tries to reason them.

"Pleeeease, oppa !" Hyungwon pleads next.

Shownu turns towards Kihyun, hoping for some eomma help. But the poor boy is already half asleep.

"As long as you let me sleep, I don't really care..." he mumbles with full of hope half closed eyes.

"You actually want them to stay, don't you ?" Shownu grins lovingly.

Kihyun closes his eyes, returns a sleepy smile and just nods.

" _Oh my God, he's so damn adorable..._ " Shownu thinks.

"You know we can mentally hear you, right ?" Minhyuk chuckles evily.

"Ooooh ! Oppa has a crush on Eomma !" Jooheon teases their embarrassed leader.

Shownu's face suddenly turns bright red and everybody explodes in laughter, Kihyun included.

As he's softly laughing himself to sleep, a satisfied relaxed grin appears on Kihyun's peaceful features.

" _I love you, guys..._ " he thinks before completely drifting off to sleep.

  
The whole team silently watches Kihyun's peaceful sleep for at least ten minutes before Shownu breaks the silence.

"Okay, I'm gonna head to the dorm." he whispers, careful not to wake up their favorite vocalist.

"You're leaving ? Didn't you also want to stay with Kihyun ?" Minhyuk asks with a curious look.

"I'll be back in about half an hour, I'm just going back to grab a change of clothes for Kihyun." he explains softly.

"Don't forget his toothbrush, you know how moody he can be when he doesn't have his own stuff." Hyungwon chuckles a bit.

"Oh and more importantly, don't forget his heart medication." Minhyuk reminds him.

"Will do." Shownu nods.

Before leaving, the leader intends on just taking a last look at Kihyun but he's suddenly mesmerized by this small amazing man. In the end, he spends fifteen good minutes contemplating his still peaceful frame.

" _Isn't he the cutest boy in the world ?_ " he thinks to the others with a fond smile.

" _He is._ " Minhyuk returns the smile.

" _You really are into him, aren't you Shownu ?_ " Jooheon thinks back with a little grin.

" _Who wouldn't ?_ " the leader adds with a chuckle before leaving for good.

Shownu comes back half an hour later with a few bags and a huge envelope.

"How has he been while I was gone ?" he asks worriedly.

"He's still sleeping, don't worry." Jooheon whispers.

"Have you all been just watching him the whole time I was gone ?" Shownu says.

"Well, Hyungwon and I asked the nurse if we could stay here and she said that the room was free so we can hang out with Kihyun for as long as he stays here." Wonho explains softly.

"Also, being able to talk without actually speaking is quite the activity." Minhyuk laughs quietly.

After a few silent minutes, they hear Kihyun slowly waking up.

It's strange how they also feel his consciousness regaining its place into their shared thoughts.

"Hey sleepy head." Minhyuk smiles at him.

"You really stayed here by my side the whole time ?" Kihyun mumbles, rubbing his still blurry eyes.

"Of course, silly." Jooheon laughs.

"The nurse brought your lunch earlier, it's probably still warm." Wonho walks towards the untouched meal.

"I almost had to fight to death to prevent those jerks to eat it." Hyungwon winks at him.

"Thanks, Hyungwon, but I'm really not hungry." Kihyun apologizes gently.

"You have to eat if you want to get better, Ki." Minhyuk insists.

"Sorry, I'm really not in the mood for eating right now." he answers with a sad smile.

"What's going on ?" Jooheon worries.

"Are your ribs still hurting ?" Wonho asks with concern.

"It's still uncomfortable but my ribs are okay, don't worry."

"What is it then ?" Shownu asks him.

The leader looks straight into his eyes and Kihyun feels like he won't ever be able to hide anything from this man.

"I really don't like hospitals, that's all. Everytime I woke up in a hospital it was either because of my heart condition, my mom's illness or my dad's blows. So waking up here doesn't really cheer me up, sorry..." Kihyun whispers with a deep red blush.

"I get it, don't worry." Shownu answers with a gentle smile.

He grabs the envelope he brought from the dorm and puts it lovingly between Kihyun's hands.

"What is this ?" Kihyun asks, really surprised.

"A little cheer up gift for your time here." Shownu answers with a huge grin.

Kihyun slowly opens the envelope and finds dozens of polaroid pictures in it. He looks at Shownu in awe.

"I figured that this place would be hard for you, so I printed all the polaroid pictures we took the other day. We all look pretty dumb on those pictures, so I thought it might cheer you up a bit. Have a little bit of dorm right here with you." Shownu explains with a wide smile.

Kihyun looks at the pictures ; only joyful silly pictures taken on their first days at the dorm.

"That's...That's amazing, Shownu. Thank you so much." a huge grin appears on Kihyun's delighted face.

"So, that's why you went back, huh ?" Minhyuk laughs a bit.

"We surely have a badass secretive Oppa !" Jooheon jokes too.

After a few minutes, they're all chatting and laughing about the pictures their leader brought. Kihyun looks at Shownu with a deep piercing glare and smiles even wider.

" _Thank you._ " he whispers in his friend's mind only.

Suddenly Minhyuk jumps on his bed to look at the pictures.

"Ouch !" Kihyun whinces.

"Careful, silly !" Shownu immediatly reacts.

"Sorry, Ki." Minhyuk looks at him with panicked eyes.

"It's fine guys, I'm not this fragile." he laughs a bit.

"You're really the dumbest, Minhyuk." Jooheon makes fun of him gently.

"Oh I won't ever be dumber than you on this picture !" Minhyuk shows, laughing.

"Ahaha !" Changkyun joins the team.

"That's not fair ! I'm handsome in other pictures !" Jooheon argues, grabing other polaroids.

"You really look good with Changkyunie in this one !" Hyungwon says joyfully.

"I don't know why but this maknae looks good in all the pictures. Look at this one !" Wonho complains.

"You're right, that's not fair !" Jooheon adds.

"The most annoying is definitely Hyungwon, how come he's so handsome and cute at the same time ?!" Minhyuk adds.

"Well, you're also super cute, Min. Don't worry about that." Kihyun winks at him.

"Oh, Kihyunie ! We all know you're the cutests one !" Minhyuk answers with a laugh.

"Are you kidding ? I just look completely stupid in this picture !" Kihyun pouts.

"Oh, you're doubting you cuteness potential ? So here's another proof." Shownu says.

"Oh and this one right here too ! Minhyuk and Kihyun really are the cutest duo ever !" Changkyun adds.

"I think my favorite one from Kihyun is this one." Hyungwon smiles.

"Alright, Kihyunie is definitely the cutest one but let's not forget our handsome leader." Minhyuk winks at him. 

At the instant Kihyun looks at the picture, his cheeks turn bright red.

"Y..You really look stunning in this..." he mumbles, really embarrassed.

" _How beautiful..._ " he thinks.

Minhyuk and Jooheon look at him with malicious eyes.

"You and Shownu really have to get accostumed to this whole shared thoughts thing." Jooheon laughs.

When he realizes that they've all heard it, including Shownu, Kihyun turns even redder.

"Ahaha, you should see your blushing face right now, Kihyun ! It's as red as Jooheon's shirt in this picture !" Hyungwon joins the laughter.

  


Shownu doesn't say anything, extremely embarrassed too but also super flattered. He chuckles at Kihyun's cute reaction to hide under his fluffy blanket.

"I also really like our group pictures." he adds, changing topic to help Kihyun.

"Oh, my favorite is this one ! Kihyun's smile is just breathtaking !" Changkyun exclaims with excitement. 

"Look at those three handsome guys here!" Hyungwon points at another picture.

"They're indeed very handsome." Kihyun whispers, mostly to himself.

After twenty minutes laughing and joking, Kihyun yawns.

"Are you tired, sweetie ?" Minhyuk asks gently.

"A bit, yeah. Sorry." Kihyun answers.

"Don't worry about that, your body's recovering so it's normal for you to be easily tired." Shownu adds.

"It's pretty late anyway. Let's all head to bed." Jooheon says.

They all settle down in the hospital beds. Minhyuk makes sure Kihyun has everything he need and lays down too.

" _Good night, guys. Thank you for tonight._ " Kihyun thinks, already hald asleep.

" _Sleep well, Kihyunie._ " Minhyuk answers mentally.

" _See you tomorrow !_ " Jooheon greets.

" _Good night !_ " Hyungwon joins them.

" _Sleep tight._ " Wonho replies.

" _Night !_ " Changkyun says.

Shownu sits on his bed and looks at the only picture he kept to himself. He smiles at the cute boy on it and kisses the picture softly.

" _Good night, Kihyun._ " he whispers mentally.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's finally some well deserved comfort ! What do you think about it ? :)
> 
> Also, I added LOTS of pictures in this one (I don't know, I just felt like it !). But there's more polaroids that I didn't include ! So I'm gonna add another chapter right away containing a few extra polaroid pictures. I thought that since we all love them so much, I could as well share those little polaroid I edited myself (most of them).
> 
> Thank you for supporting this story, please comment and let me know what you think :)))
> 
> Love you !


	9. Polaroids (Extra footage)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the extra polaroids I told you about in Chapter 8 :)
> 
> Hope you like it, please tell me which one is your favorite (you can write the number of your favorite in comments) !
> 
> I think mine could be number 7, 14 or 18 :)
> 
> Love you all !

*1*

*2*

*3*

*4*

*5*

*6*

*7*

*8*

*9*

*10*

*11*

*12*

*13*

*14*

*15*

*16*

*17*

*18*

*19*


	10. Author's note

Hello Monbebe !

I'm just writing this little note to announce that I'm gonna take a break for a few days, maybe a week (not more, don't worry !).

For the last two chapters, I put at least three or four all-nighters and I'm completely exhausted. I just really wanted you all to read the fluff Kihyun desperately deserved before taking a break, so I stayed up all night for days and I've slept like four hours in three days ^^'

Between writing the whole chapter, finding the right pictures, editing/touching up the pictures and then editing the chapter as a whole, it can take me more than twelve hours of work just for one chapter. I really put a lot of effort in this story and I hope you like it :)

Thing is I also work 6/7 so it's becoming a bit hard for me to write all night and then work all day. I fainted this morning and decided it would be a good idea to just take a little break.

I'm also writing other fanfictions that I paused for Lost Tears and I think those communities also deserve a chapter or two once in a while.

So, I'm really really sorry but I won't post until at least next week. I hope you won't be too mad, but I really need to rest for a bit if I want to go on posting qualitative chapters in the future.

BEWARE I'm absolutely not giving up on this story and it really won't be long until our favorite team comes back! I know some authors say they "take a break" and actually come back like five months later, but that's not my case ! I absolutely LOVE all of you readers and I thank you again for your support !

Don't hesitate on commenting this author's note as well to tell me if you're mad or if you're disappointed. I'll read everything and I'll try to be back as soon as possibe !

LOVE YOU ALL !


	11. The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little video awaits you at the end of this chapter, hope you enjoy it !
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccotCivjUxo

"So, wanna tell me what happened yesterday, Kihyun?" the doctor asks Kihyun.

The others left the room a little while earlier to give them some privacy.

"I have nothing to report." Kihyun states calmly.

"I know it's uncomfortable to talk about things like that, but you shouldn't..." the doctor is interrupted by the injured boy.

"I just said I don't want to report anything, doctor. I know what I'm doing so please don't pressure me." Kihyun answers gently.

He just woke up but already feels tired, the nurses already questionned him for the last three days before his doctor finally decided it was time for him to get the answers they're waiting for. They've been trying to draw the real story out of him but the young man won't surrender.

"It's not just a simple assault we're talking about here, Kihyun. Your friends told me your agressor tried to sexually violate you, you shouldn't take those things slightly." the doctor insists.

"Oh so now, I'm the one taking it too lightly ?! That's a freaking joke, right ?!" Kihyun gets a bit worked up.

"I'm not saying you're taking it as if it was nothing, I'm just stating that sexual offenders are deeply punished for their crimes and that your report could truely help put this man behind bars."

"If I thought it could, I would tell you everything immediately, doctor. But it wouldn't change a damn thing and with this kind of man I know what I'm talking about, believe me." Kihyun sighs.

The doctor pauses for a second.

"You know what you're talking about ? Does that mean that you've already faced... sexual violence, Kihyun ?"

Kihyun slowly looks down in shame and at this moment, the other members can feel the panic invading their main vocalist's whole mind.

" _Are you okay, Ki ?_ " Shownu asks first.

" _Do you need us to come in ?!_ " Jooheon worries.

" _No, I...I can handle this._ " he answers weakly.

He looks back at the doctor, already regretting his words.

"Yes, I have." he replies quietly.

The doctor nods, sighing at the thought of this young man having to endure this kind of trauma at such a young age.

"Did he...go all the way ?" the older man almost whispers.

Kihyun doesn't say anything, just lowers his head.

"Let me rephrase this. Did this man rape you, Kihyun ?" the doctor asks softly.

The mention of his father and what he did to him sends chills in Kihyun's whole body. He closes his eyes as flashes invade his mind. The singer slowly curls on himself, trying to hide his obvious distress.

"I'm really sorry to ask, but as your doctor it's medically relevent." the older man apologizes.

After a few tense seconds, Kihyun reopens his eyes.

"Yes, he raped me..." he finally confesses.

He's really sick of outing his deepest secret so many times in such a short time. First it was Minhyuk, then the whole band and now this doctor. Why wouldn't they just let him forget ? Why does he have to feel so weak and broken each time he pronounces those awful words ?

"Did it happen recently ?" his doctor's voice breaks through his spiralling thoughts.

Kihyun doesn't speak, just shakes his head. He feels tears invading his tired eyes and the awful sensation that it's way too late to even try to hide them.

"When did it happen, Kihyun ?" the older man asks quietly.

But Kihyun doesn't wanna talk anymore. He doesn't wanna explain or even remember. He just wishes for it all to simply go away.

As he's quickly engulfed by unhealthy and terrifying thoughts, the doctor lays a gentle hand on Kihyun's shoulder but the singer jumps in fear, the thought of simple skin to skin contact making him sick. He panics as he feels the lingering feeling of Mr.Cho's sick and perverted hands on his abused skin all over again.

"P..Please don't t..touch me..." he mumbles between short breath.

The doctor watches silently as his patient slowly loses his composure. Kihyun feels really embarrassed and ashamed of his behavior but can't bring himself to calm down.

"I'm sorry, I won't touch you again. You know I won't hurt you, right ? You're safe here, whatever happened in the past won't happen again. You have my word." the doctor tries to reassure his now trembling patient.

Kihyun just nods, he doesn't trust his voice to remain stable and unshaking.

" _Kihyun, I'm gonna burst this door in five seconds if you don't talk to us. What's happening ?!_ " Shownu worries even more than before.

" _We sense that you're freaking out, is this man hurting you in any way ?!_ " Minhyuk asks angrily.

" _N..No. Everything's f..fine. We're just talking about s..sensitive stuff..._ " he whispers in their minds.

" _Alright, but call for us if it's too much for you, Kihyunie._ " Changkyun agrees.

"So, when did this man rape you, Kihyun ?"

The young singer's attention comes back to his doctor.

"I..I was twelve the first time it happened..." Kihyun murmurs in shame.

" _The first time...?!_ " The doctor's eyes widen when he realizes that it happened again many times after that.

He never imagined this young man to be a rape victim, and even less for so long. He looks at the trembling young man with eyes full of pity and compassion.

But as soon as Kihyun sees his stare, he despises it. He hates when people pity him like he's a fragile little kitten, he feels like they consider him deficient, abnormal because of what happened to him.

" _I'm not that weak, for God's sake !_ " he thinks to himself.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you, Kihyun. I guess that's the reason behind all those scars on your hips." the older man says with a worried frown.

Kihyun looks at him with apologetic eyes.

"How d..did you..." he whispers shamefully.

"I didn't mean to pry, we were just taking your clothes off to check on your ribs on the first day you arrived here. At first we thought it was part of your recent injuries but I immediately recognized this kind of scars..." he eyes Kihyun worriedly.

"I'm sorry, I..I don't do that anymore, I promise. I was young and I hated myself, this body felt too disgusting and filthy at the time, I couldn't take it anymore..." the young singer mumbles, tears coming back into his eyes.

" _This body ? It clearly is still an issue..._ " the doctor thinks to himself.

"It's okay, you don't have to justify yourself. Not to me, not to anyone. But did you try to talk about it with someone you trust, your friends maybe ?" he suggests.

"No ! Please don't tell them, they don't need to see this... I already worry them so much, I can't do this to them."

"It doesn't seem like fresh scars so I'm not too worried. But with your recent _incident_ you should trust your friends, show them those scars and they could help you get through those feelings of disgust and shame. If you don't want to face them or if it's too hard for you, I could talk to them myself. I'm sure they'll understand." the older man adds.

"P..Please, doctor. Please don't tell my friends...I'll confide in them when I'm ready and I'll show them everything but _please_ , for now don't say anything..." Kihyun looks at him with tearful eyes.

The doctor's heart breaks for this injured young man. He's gone through so much and yet he's here, placing everyone's feelings above his own and trying his best to please his friends.

"Alright, I won't tell a soul. But you have to promise me to reach out if you ever feel the urge to hurt yourself ever again, deal ?" he smiles a bit, trying to show his patient that he can truely trust him.

"Deal." Kihyun smiles back shyly while wipping his tears away.

After a few relaxing seconds, the doctor suddenly thinks about something very serious.

"I'm sorry you apparently didn't recieve the right help at the time, now you can count on me. I just have one question ; did you ever undergo a rape test...?" the doctor asks, very professionally.

At this moment, Kihyun understands that this man isn't judging him, that he's not a threat. He's just a medical professional, doing his job and worrying about his patient's health.

"No, I..I never got the chance to reach an hospital after being raped..." the singer whispers in shame.

"What about STDs ?" 

Kihyun's eyes grow as he thinks about his answer.

"I..I was very young at the t..time...I never thought a..about..." he mumbles in embarassment.

"You never got tested...?!" the doctor asks in shock.

Kihyun looks at him with worried eyes before shaking his head no.

"All in all, how many men did you sleep with ?"

"S..Sleep with..?" Kihyun whispers.

He never slept with anyone, not willingly anyway. Having his body violated and humiliated, this is something he knows about, but he never experienced making love or even being volontarily intimate with another man.

Seeing his confused state, the doctor understands that the young singer never experienced consented sexual intercourse and that it wasn't just one man who hurt him but apparently several.

"H..How many, Kihyun..?" the older man is almost afraid to know.

"I..I never _wanted_ to s..sleep with them.." Kihyun's eyes begin to water again.

"I'm not implying that you wanted any of it, I just have to know how many men penetrated you to know if I need to order an STD test." the doctor regrets his previous words.

"I..I don't really know... Dozens..." Kihyun's shaking hands slowly cover his embarrassed face.

He feels himself slowly drifting into panic mode again and begins hyperventilating. 

" _Kihyunie, it's okay. I don't know exactly what's going on but you're safe._ " Minhyuk whispers in his mind.

" _We're just behind this door, one word and we come right in._ " Hyungwon says softly.

" _You're not alone, no need to be afraid._ " Shownu adds mentally.

Kihyun breathes as best as he can, relaxing thanks to his friends, who just answered his unspoken fears.

" _Thank you, guys._ " he whispers back.

After letting his young patient compose himself for a few minutes, the doctor finally speaks.

"I'm sorry, Kihyun. I had no idea something this awful happened..." he mumbles.

"It's not like I told anyone." Kihyun smiles sadly.

"Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings and even less your body but we have to get you tested for STDs. Since it was a long time ago, we can already cross a few diseases from our mind but you can't go on without being tested for the rest." the doctor half apologizes already.

Kihyun freaks out immediately.

"N..No, I don't want anymore tests. I just wanna go home..." tears begin forming again in his exhausted eyes.

"I know, you're probably tired of hospitals and don't want to stay here any longer than necessary but it's really important." the doctor tries to soothe the young man.

"No ! I don't want any test ! Let me go, p..please... I'm sick of being here, I...I just wanna go h..home. Please let me go home..." Kihyun grabs his doctor's arm, begging him with teary eyes.

"Kihyun, please calm down. It's not an invasive test, we'll just test STDs with a simple blood test, that's all. You only have one last checkup before leaving this hospital, we'll use the same sample to test sexual diseases. I don't wanna keep you here, I just need your approval to run those tests." the older man lays his hands on Kihyun's very gently, making sure not to startle the young man.

"R..Really...?" Kihyun asks desperately.

"Really. I know you're not used to trusting men my age because of everything that happened to you but you have to believe me when I tell you that I only have your best interest in mind."

Kihyun smiles shyly, calming down a bit. The doctor continues talking, easing his patient's doubtful mind.

"I don't want anything from you ; neither your body nor your mind. Many men approached you to selfishly take adventage of you, but it's not my case. I guess it's hard for you to believe that an adult man could do anything for your own well being, but I'm your doctor and I don't plan on giving up on you." the older man smiles warmly.

"Thank you, doctor." Kihyun nods thankfully.

"You're gladly welcome, Kihyun. We'll run the STD tests with the next blood sample and finally close this whole story, alright ? I saw that you have wonderful friends with you, I'm certain they'll make sure you feel safe and loved from now on." the doctor looks at the closed door.

"Yeah, they're truely amazing." Kihyun nods with a little smile.

"I'm glad you have them but you know that professional therapy could really help you, right ?" 

"I..I don't wanna go to therapy. Please don't make me go..." Kihyun whispers in embarrassment.

"I'm not sending you to therapy, Kihyun. I won't ever force you to do anything you don't want to, but just know that there are people here who would listen to you." 

Kihyun nods and they chat about therapy for a little while. After talking about it calmly and without any judgment, Kihyun finally promises his doctor he'll at least think about it.

The latter gives him his personal phone number before trying to solve the recent assault issue.

"Hum, Kihyun...?" 

"Yeah ?" the singer looks at him with trusting eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want to report the man who hurt you this time ? I know it may be too late for the ones who violated you during your childhood because you didn't take any rape test, but this time we can do something if you report him." the doctor tries to convince him.

"I..I can't. I'm really sorry but I can't report him." Kihyun says apologetically.

The doctor doesn't say anything, just sighs. He knows Kihyun has made his mind up and won't give in.

"I just have one last question then ; why ? Is it because of your company ? Did someone threaten to hurt you if you said anything to me or the police ?" he asks.

Kihyun smiles warmly.

"No one threatened me. I just don't believe reporting the person who hurt me yesterday would do me any good. It would put me and my team in a complicated situation and probably wouldn't make any difference in the end. That's why." Kihyun explains.

"We could help you." the doctor replies.

"I don't think so." Kihyun whispers with a sad smile.

"I'm worried about you. With everything you've already been through, you shouldn't have to face this kind of violence ever again." 

"Yet here I am." Kihyun smiles ironically.

"I wish I could do more." the doctor eyes him sadly.

"That's very kind, thank you. But it's not something you could do anything about." Kihyun answers warmly.

"Well, if you don't wanna press charges, I don't see any reason for keeping you here any longer. I'll send a nurse to take the blood sample we talked about in an hour and then you're free to go." the doctor smiles.

"That's great, thanks again!" Kihyun answers sincerely.

"Before you go, I just have a few recommandations for the next few weeks regarding your physical activity." the doctor adds.

Kihyun understands that this discussion needs to include the whole team. He doesn't want to be the only one telling their manager he can't have physical exercice during the next days.

" _Guys ? Could you please come in ?_ " he thinks to his friends.

The doctor is about to explain but is cut by six worried friends bursting through the door.

"Is everything alright here ?" Shownu asks in worry, looking straight at Kihyun.

"What's going on ?!" Minhyuk almost shouts while running inside.

"Are you okay Ki ?!" Jooheon says next.

Kihyun looks at them with a little smile, nodding. They immediately understand that everything's fine now and that they maybe overreacted a bit.

" _He didn't push me any further, don't worry._ " Kihyun reassures his friends mentally.

The doctor looks at the whole group curiously, completely lost between the sudden mood changes. Those guys just came in abruptly, worrying about their friend and are now completely fine and goofy again. It's as if they don't even need to talk to understand each other.

" _The doctor was just about to give me recommandations for the next few weeks. I thought you'd like to hear it as well._ " Kihyun thinks to his friends.

Shownu nods and settles himself next to Kihyun.

"You were saying, doctor ?" he asks the older man.

The doctor is amazed by their strange connection, this all seems a bit too much for a simple coincidence.

"Well, I was gonna explain what your friend can and can't do, physically speaking, during the following weeks." he says nervously.

"First, when can he come back home ?" Minhyuk asks seriously.

"Well, as soon as the last checkup's done, Kihyun is free to go home." the doctor answers with a smile.

"That's great, Ki !" Jooheon laughs.

"Yeah, I was really getting tired of hospital food. Can't wait for Eomma to come back home." Hyungwon jokes.

Kihyun laughs quietly, winking at his tallest friend.

"He can go home, but I'll set a meeting in two weeks to check on his condition. Let's be clear, you shouldn't have any physical activity during the three upcoming weeks." the doctor tells Kihyun.

"What about dance practice ?" the singer asks.

"If needed, you can take painkillers and go to practice, but I really don't recommand it. Cracked or bruised ribs aren't as painful as heavily broken ones, but you should still rest a lot and avoid moving around too much if you want to make a quick recovery." he concludes.

"What about singing sessions ?" Mr.Hyun says loudly.

All heads turn to the older man. Kihyun hadn't noticed him at first but their manager is standing at the other side of the room, eyeing the main vocalist weirdly.

The doctor sighs before speaking again.

"Singing requires lots of work from the lungs and the ribcage, he shouldn't fully go back to singing practice either. Of course, he can sing as much as he likes, but a real singing work will probably put too much pressure on his bruised ribs." he answers, not feeling the growing tension in the room.

Kihyun looks angrily at their manager and suddenly, everybody stops laughing or talking. Well, except for the two older men.

" _What is he doing here ?!_ " Kihyun asks mentally.

"Could you prescibe him painkillers ? He really needs to get back to work as soon as possible. The singing sessions should come first." Mr.Hyun continues.

"I'll ask my secretary to send you the prescription." the doctor nods.

" _He said you two had things to discuss._ " Wonho whispers in his friend's minds.

Mr.Hyun and the doctor still chat about billing details, completely oblivious to the other discussion taking place in the band's shared mind.

" _I want him out._ " Kihyun thinks coldly.

Suddenly, Shownu stands up and places himself in front of the manager.

"Mr.Hyun, I'm afraid you have to go now." he states seriously.

The doctor is startled by the sudden confrontation, not really understanding where this comes from. He's actually completely lost with those boys. 

A few seconds ago, they were laughing because of Kihyun's return at home, and now they're all deadly serious. They haven't said a word but seem to somehow understand each other perfectly.

"W..What's going on ?" he asks, trying to makes sense to this strange situation.

"Mr.Hyun needs to leave, that's all." Hyungwon replies coldly.

"But.." the manager tries.

"No buts, I don't want you here." Kihyun answers seriously.

"Excuse me, doctor. But could you give us some privacy, please ? We have professionnal things to discuss." Mr.Hyun tells the doctor while putting his glasses on.

He eyes Kihyun before nodding and exiting the room. He knows the young man will be fine as long as his friends stick with him and support him.

Mr.Hyun turns back at the injured boy angrily.

"If it's about Mr.Cho again, I already told you there isn't anything I can do." he defends himself.

"It's not about him." Kihyun simply states.

"Then why are you so mad at me ?! If it's because of the schedule, I'm just doing my job !" 

"This is about you deciding to leave him at the nurse office, litteraly bleeding to death !" Shownu suddenly shouts.

"I did it for you, Kihyun ! Don't tell me you wouldn't mind this whole story to go public !" 

"It's not about going public or not, Mr.Hyun ! The nurses told us that if we had waited twenty more minutes before bringing him here, he would simply be dead !" Minhyuk adds.

"I'm sure a singer bleeding to death wouldn't make a great promotion for the company, would it ?!" Hyungwon says angrily.

"Or maybe you'd arrange it so it wouldn't go public either ?!" Jooheon joins his friends.

"Oh so now you're all against me ?! Well, let me tell you something, Kihyun ! If the company knew about your little affair with the singing teacher, they'd fire you immediately ! So instead of yelling at me, you of all people should thank me for hiding it !" Mr.Hyun shouts.

  


"What _affair_ ?! He molested and assaulted me !" Kihyun yells back.

"Oh, we never know ! I only got your version, for all I know you could as well have seduced him into sleeping with you before changing your mind !" the manager adds angrily.

"I can't believe it ! Isn't my whole body proof enough of him trying to fucking rape me ?!" Kihyun says desperately.

"Who says Mr.Cho was even the one who did that, huh ?! I don't trust you and I won't put myself on the line for your slutty ass !" Mr.Hyung yells.

"That's ENOUGH !" a feminine voice rises above the others.

Everybody shuts up, turning to the door.

After a few silent seconds, Kihyun's eyes grow wide as he recognizes the familiar figure.

"G..Grandma..?!" Kihyun mumbles in complete confusion.

"In the flesh, sweety." the old woman smiles gently, walking to his hospital bed.

Kihyun looks at her with tearfull eyes. Seeing her again, in such conditions and at the hospital brings back painful memories.

"How are you, love ?" the old woman hugs her grandson tightly.

All the previous tension and the burden of his manager's insults suddenly leave his body when he feels his beloved grandmother's warm and familiar touch. They've been through a lot together and just seeing her here soothes his tormented mind. He knows everything will be fine as long as she's by his side.

Squeezed softly, Kihyun finally relaxes and lays his throbing head on his granny's chest.

"What are you doing here ? How did you know...?" he whispers, closing his eyes.

She passes a gentle hand through his hair, stroking his rebelious strands.

"A lovely young man with a husky voice called me two days ago, he said that there was an emergency. His name was Minhyuk if I recall correctly. I came as soon as I could." she explains.

Kihyun turns to his bestfriend with a surprised look.

"Min ? How did you...?" he mumbles. 

"Well, she was the only person I could find on your company registration papers. I thought that she of all people should be warned about your current condition. I'm sorry if I overstepped..." Minhyuk explains shyly.

"You didn't overstep anything, honey ! Calling me was the right thing to do. I know this idiot here and he would never call me even when he's in trouble !" she hits Kihyun's shoulder gently.

"Sorry, grandma... I didn't wanna bother you with this kind of mess..." Kihyun apologizes.

"Don't worry about it, you apparently have very good friends here who'll call me if needed." she says, letting go of her grandson's embrace for a few seconds and turning to look at the little group of nervous young men.

Minhyuk takes a step forward and bows politely.

"I'm Lee Minhyuk, thank you for coming on such short notice." he rushes hesitantly.

They all know that Kihyun is a traditional guy and imagine that he gets that from his family. The whole band wants to do things correctly and they all bow a few seconds later.

They mumble their name and greetings politely but Shownu's strong voice rises above the others.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Son Hyunwoo but people call me Shownu. I'm really sorry we let your grandson get injured, it won't happen again." he says with determination.

Kihyun's grandmother eyes him for a little while.

"So, you're the Shownu Kihyun keeps talking about in his texts ?" she answers with strengh.

Everybody can feel that she's a really strong woman, with lots of influence and aura.

"Grandma, you're scaring them !" Kihyun complains a bit. 

But his grandmother just walks slowly in front of their leader.

"I want to talk with you privately, later. I want to know who you really are." she says sincerly but suspiciously.

"It would be a great honor." Shownu bows again.

She suddenly turns to Minhyuk with a huge smile, her mood completely bright now.

"So, you're Lee Minhyuk ? It's a pleasure meeting you ! Apparently you and Kihyun are pretty close." she shakes his hand with a big grin.

"We are. It's an honor meeting you too." Minhyuk answers with a wide smile.

"Well, this little family reunion is really touching but we still haven't fixed your schedule, Kihyun." Mr.Hyun comes back on topic.

"And I guess you must be their current manager, right ?" Kihyun's grandmother adresses him seriously.

"I am. And let me tell you that your grandson has caused a lot of problems during his short time at our company. He requested a nurse during dance practice and messed with his singing teacher. You should probably keep a closer eye on him." Mr.Hyun answers.

At this remark, Kihyun's grandmother's eyes darken and anger appears on her noble face.

"I beg your pardon ?! Are you suggesting that Kihyun, a descendant of the dignified Yoo family, misbehaved and proved himself uneducated ?" she replies coldly.

"I wouldn't go this far, but this young man definitely needs to learn his place." the manager defends himself.

Kihyun's grandmother suddenly hits the nearest table with her fist.

"Now _you_ listen to me, Mr.Nobody. I've raised this young man for years and even though his father, my son, dishonoured our family in the past, he, on the contrary, has proven himself completely worthy of our name. He's a fine and respectable young man and I don't believe for a second that he would fool around in his work." she says calmly but strongly.

"Maybe he just changed then. I'm not doubting your education Madame, I'm just..." 

"Mrs.Yoo. I'm not _madame_ , it's Mrs.Yoo." she interrupts him angrily.

"I'm not doubting your education, Mrs.Yoo. I'm just stating the fact that Kihyun has created lots of mess and that he should be responsible for his actions." Mr.Hyun answers.

"Responsible for his actions ? What actions ?" the grandmother asks coldly, sitting in the seat near Kihyun's bed.

"I guess you're not aware of the current situation your grandson put all of us in, but he recently seduced his singing teacher and tried to pass it off as sexual harassment." Mr.Hyun replies confidently.

Mrs.Yoo's eyes widen and she turns to look at her grandson. She takes in his trembling states before looking at all the bruises covering his distressed face.

"T..That's not what h..happened..." he whispers, desperately trying to hold his tears back.

She of all people _has_ to believe him. If she doesn't, Kihyun isn't sure he can ever recover from such a betrayal.

The older woman turns back at the manager.

"You're fired." she states coldly.

The whole band is shocked by the sudden decision.

"What ?! You can't fire me." Mr.Hyun almost laughs.

"I can and I just did. I actually decided to fire you at the moment I recieved Minhyuk's phone call." she explains angrily.

"You're not even part of the company, how could _you_ fire me ?" he takes his glasses off.

"I'm not _part_ of the company, but I own almost three quarters of it. You could say I _am_ the company, so I suppose it gives me the right to fire the manager who's bullying and accusing my grandson of diffamation." she says coldly.

"But.." Mr.Hyun tries.

"I don't want to hear another word from your selfish disgusting mouth ! First, you let my grandson get sexually harrassed by his teacher. Then, when he comes to you injured and scared, you don't even believe him and finally accuse him of making the whole story up." she states.

"I didn't want it to go public, that's all..." 

"Oh and is that also because you didn't want it to go public that you insulted him of being a _slut_ ?!" she asks angrily.

"I..I'm sorry, okay ? I won't doubt him again, so please don't fire me. I really need this job, I'm sorry..." Mr.Hyun pleads desperately.

"Get out." 

"I'm begging you, don't.." 

"Get out !" she yells.

Mr.Hyun sighs before looking angrily at Kihyun.

"Congratulations, boy. You just ruined my life." he tells him bitterly.

Kihyun lowers his head in shame as Mr.Hyun grabs his stuff before getting out and slamming the door.

"I..I'm sorry..." the injured boy mumbles. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Kihyun ! What exactly did you do wrong ? Tell the truth ?" Minhyuk soothes his bestfriend.

"He's right, you have nothing to be ashamed of. People like him tend to make you believe you're the one with a problem when the truth is _you_ are the real victim." Shownu adds.

Kihyun nods slowly before realizing something. He looks at his grandmother with suspicious eyes.

"Y..You never told me you were the main shareholder of this company. How long have you owned parts of Starship ?" Kihyun asks in awe.

"Well, first it was your grandfather's doing. We've had parts in this company for as long as I can remember. When he died I took over his shares and added them to my own but I never told you because I didn't want your choice to be oriented by any possible help from me. You needed to get there by your own means and talent, not by my connections. And you did." she explains softly.

"Thanks, you're the best." Kihyun smiles warmly.

"What does that mean for us, who's gonna be our manager ?" Jooheon asks nervously.

"Well, I actually brought someone with me that I think will be perfect for the job." Kihyun's grandmother answers with a smile.

"You already found someone else ?" Kihyun replies.

"You actually know her, she's from Goyang too. I believe you went to the same school." Mrs.Yoo winks at her dumbfounded grandson.

"Wait, our new manager is one of Kihyun's friend ?" Wonho whispers.

"You can come in, Hae-rin." the old woman shouts.

At the mention of her name, Kihyun's heartbeat goes up suddenly.

"You asked _Hae-rin_ to be our manager ?!" he asks his grandmother.

The young woman opens the door softly and introduces herself.

"Nice to meet you, I'm your new manager Song Hae-rin." she bows politely.

The boys are surprised by this young distinguished woman standing in front of them and bow back.

"Please take care of us Mrs.Song." Shownu mumbles nervously.

"No need to be so formal, you can call me Hae-rin." she smiles gently.

After a few minutes chatting with the boys, she turns to the hospital bed.

"I can't believe it ! If it isn't our little Kiki !" she laughs, walking to the bed.

A few silent seconds pass before the whole band explodes in laughter.

"Ahaha ! Kiki ?! Really ?!" Jooheon can't stop laughing.

"It's so cute, Kiki !" Hyungwon jokes too.

"Stop it ! Hae-rin, I already told you a million times to stop calling me Kiki !" Kihyun complains with a deep blush.

"Oh don't be so tense, Ki. It's great seeing you again !" Hae-rin answers.

"Yeah, it's been a long time." Kihyun bows from his seated position.

"Well, how did you end up here ? Your grandmother wouldn't tell me but you really look like shit." she adds with a little smile.

"Hae-rin. You're his manager, not his girlfriend. Even if you already know each other, you shouldn't be so familiar with him, he's still your employer." Mrs.Yoo tells her seriously.

"E..Employer ?" Kihyun asks nervously.

"Yeah, Hae-rin isn't part of the company. She works for you guys only ; she's a private manager. The band still belongs to Starship but they agreed to let me hire a private manager." Mrs.Yoo answers with a smile.

"You didn't have to do that, grandma." Kihyun argues.

"I'm always worried knowing a complete stranger is taking care of you and your friends and apparently, I was right to be. I trust Hae-rin to take care of you and your team, I know her and she'll do everything in her power to help you the best she can." Mrs.Yoo explains.

" _Do you trust this Hae-rin, Ki ?_ " Minhyuk asks his friend mentally.

" _I don't, for now... I've known her for a long time and I can't say she left a great impression._ " Kihyun answers in his friend's mind.

" _What happened between you two ?_ " Shownu says mentally too.

" _I'll explain later._ " Kihyun concludes.

"Okay then. If you trust her this much, we'll see if we can make this whole thing work." Kihyun replies to his grandmother.

"Thank you Kiki ! I won't let you or your friends down !" Hae-rin laughs excitedly.

"If you call me Kiki one more time, I'll definitely fire you." Kihyun answers seriously but with a little grin.

Kihyun's grandmother laughs with the others before speaking again.

"Hae-rin has been studying managment abroad for the last few years so you'll have to explain her a few things but I'm sure it'll be fine." she smiles.

"Yeah, please take care of me. I already know MonstaX a bit but it's hard to remember everyone's position in the band..." the young new manager explains.

"You didn't even look that up on internet...?" Jooheon asks with a disappointed look.

" _Joohoney, be nice._ " Shownu tells him mentally.

"I'm Shownu, the leader. I'm also one of the main dancer and secondary vocalist." he bows politely.

"I'm Lee Minhyuk, visual and also vocalist." he shakes her hand.

"Lee Jooheon, main rapper." 

"I'm the second rapper, Changkyun but you can call me I.M." 

"Hi, I'm Wonho. I'm a singer and dancer."

"And I'm Hyungwon. Mostly visual but also main dancer." the tall young man explains.

After bowing to the different members, she turns to Kihyun.

"What about you Ki ?" she asks with a curious look.

"I'm the main vocalist." he answers matter of factly.

"The main vocalist ? You ?! Ahahah !" Hae-rin bursts into laughter.

"What's so funny about that ?" Minhyuk interrupts her with a serious look.

"No, it's just that I'd never have pictured Kihyun as the main vocalist !" she still laughs a bit.

"Well, he is and an amazing one on top of that. Show some respect." Shownu tells her coldly.

Kihyun looks at her with annoyed and hurt eyes.

"You never told me you liked to sing this much, Kihyun. I remember us writing songs together when we were young but for you to become the main vocalist of an actual band, that's just unreal." she catches her breath after laughing for so long.

"I don't just _like to sing_ , Hae-rin. I'm a singer, that's my job. It's my whole life you're making fun of, right now." he answers bitterly.

"Well, you also gained in confidence apparently, you were so shy back in the days ! I even remember once when we were at the karaoke and you were too ashamed of your voice to sing even the easiest song !" she laughs again.

"Well, now he sings in front of millions of people. Is it confident enough for you ?!" Minhyuk replies angrily.

"I'm sorry, okay ? Kihyun, you should sing something to prove I'm wrong to laugh at you." she winks at him playfully.

"He has nothing to prove." Minhyuk defends his bestfriend agressively.

"Everyone, calm down. Hae-rin is still new to this music world okay ? Just give her time to adjust." Mrs.Yoo tries to soothe everybody.

" _I don't like her._ " Shownu thinks to his friends.

" _Me neither._ " Jooheon answers mentally.

" _Come on, guys. Let's give her a chance._ " Hyungwon adds.

They all calm down a bit and Kihyun sighs before speaking again.

"Well, even if you're unexperienced, you're still our manager. So how did you plan our schedule for the next few weeks ?" Kihyun asks Hae-rin more calmly.

"The company agreed to give the whole team a few days off, at least until you feel better and ready to go back to dance and singing practice." she explains very professionally.

"What about the singing teacher ?" Shownu answers forcefully.

"What about him ?" Hae-rin replies, surprised by this question.

"Well, you should be aware that he's the one who sent Kihyun directly to the hospital." Jooheon says coldly.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry. Mrs.Yoo only told me you were injured, Kihyun." the new manager apologizes sincerely.

"All you should know right now is that Kihyun cannot work with this man ever again. It's for his own safety." Minhyuk adds.

"I'll see what I can do and I'll try to find someone more suitable for you." she says to Kihyun.

"Thank you." he nods back.

" _See ? Told you we should give her a chance._ " Hyungwon comments mentally.

"So we're on vacation for the next few days or do the rest of us still have busy schedules ?" Changkyun asks seriously.

"You're on vacation for at least the next five days. Mrs.Yoo has generously offered to invite you all to her house in Goyang. You guys will be able to relax and it'll give Kihyun enough time to recover nicely." Hae-rin explains with a warm smile.

"It'll also give you time to solve the singing teacher problem, Hae-rin. That should be your top priority right now." Mrs.Yoo adds.

"Got it. But I need to know the whole story before going to the company board." she says apologetically.

"We'll tell you everything later." Shownu nods.

" _What ?! You want to tell her everything ?!_ " Kihyun asks mentally. 

"We have no choice, Ki. She's willing to help and even if it's uncomfortable at first, I'd rather tell her the whole story rather than having you working with Mr.Cho ever again." the leader explains out loud.

Mrs.Yoo frowns a bit curiously, noticing that this young man just answered Kihyun's fears without him actually asking for anything.

"Now that everything's settled, why don't we take you home, sweety ?" Kihyun's grandmother concludes with a big smile.

After Kihyun's last checkup, they make a quick stop by the dorm to grab their stuff and head to Goyang. In the car, they chat about music, Starship company and other kpop related topics with Hae-rin. After a while, Jooheon asks a few personal questions.

"So, Mrs.Yoo said you two went to the same school ?" he questions.

"You can call me Rosa, sweety." the old woman smiles warmly at the rapper.

Jooheon smiles back before looking at Kihyun to have his approval.

" _That means she already likes you, Joohoney._ " Kihyun chuckles a bit, mentally answering Jooheon's unspoken question.

The latter smiles even brighter at his friend's mental comment, bowing at Rosa respectfully.

Kihyun laughs a bit before replying to the original question.

"Yeah, we met when we were nine or ten years old." the singer answers softly, not very keen on talking about the past with his childhood friend in the car.

"Oh I remember the first time I met you, we were so young ! It was so cute, you clang to Yun's hand as if your life depended on it!" Hae-rin adds.

" _It did, you idiot._ " Minhyuk thinks bitterly.

" _Min, not now._ " Kihyun eyes him quietly.

"So, were you in the same class or something ?" Hyungwon goes back on topic.

"Yeah, we spent almost six years in the same class. At first, Ki was very sweet and kind but after a while he changed drastically, he became all gloomy and stopped smiling. You little brat !" Hae-rin laughs.

" _When you spend months at the hospital watching your mother slowly die, that's usually what happens._ " Kihyun thinks angrily.

" _Does she know about your mom ?_ " Shownu asks him mentally.

" _Of course she does._ " Kihyun answers with a sigh.

"After that, I spent my time asking him to join me for after school activities but he always said he had to take care of Yun at home after class ended." Hae-rin adds.

"It couldn't be helped." Kihyun replies softly.

"Oh come on, you really didn't put much effort in it ! I bet you just went home to play video games all night instead of coming to the karaoke with me !" she laughs.

But all the guys stop smiling immediately. The car's temperature suddenly drops as the seven young men take in what she just said.

" _She doesn't know the truth or is she actually asking us to slap her face...?!_ " Wonho thinks to Kihyun.

" _I told her when we were younger but she never believed me, don't waste your time on that._ " he answers sadly. 

Minhyuk looks down in anger and Hae-rin understands that something's going on without her knowing about it.

"What ? Did I say something wrong ?" she asks in surprise.

"Kihyun was never the nerd kind, don't you remember Hae-rin ?" Mrs.Yoo tries to relax everybody.

The older woman knows what happened after school between Kihyun and his father and feels the same way as the others towards Hae-rin's comments. But she doesn't want any of the boys to lash out at their new manager because of her selfishness.

"Well, if it wasn't video games, what was it ? You never went out with us, not once !" Hae-rin adds, oblivious to the growing tension in the car.

" _Gosh why doesn't she just drop it off...?!_ " Changkyun thinks with a tired look.

  


"I'm sure he was at home, busy with singing practice." Kihyun's grandmother replies more coldly.

She gives a little blow into Hae-rin's ribs with her elbow, silently meaning that she shouldn't push the matter.

The young woman looks at her with a startled look but drops the subject. She knows first hand that Mrs.Yoo isn't the kind of woman you can easily upset. If she's already this annoyed, Hae-rin's not suicidal enough to press the matter anymore.

They drive for an hour before finally arriving in Goyang. The boys are really excited and can't contain their contagious joy.

"Home sweet home." Kihyun mumbles, getting out of the car.

They all look at the beautiful luxurious house in front of them.

"That's amazing, Ki !" Hyungwon smiles.

"You're so lucky Kihyun !" Wonho laughs. 

"So this is where you grew up ?" Shownu says, looking around.

"Yeah, this old woman here made me the luckiest teenager at that time, everybody was jealous." Kihyun winks at his grandma.

"Who are you calling old woman, you ungrateful punk !" she punches him on the shoulder with a large smile.

"Oh so I'm not a worthy descendant of the dignified Yoo family anymore ?" he laughs with her.

"Of course you are, sweety !" Rosa joins his laughter.

"Thanks for coming for me, grandma." he mumbles, hugging her tightly.

"Of course, love. Anything for you." she kisses the top of his head gently.

" _She really loves you, Kihyunie. I'm glad we met her._ " Minhyuk comments the heartwarming scene while the others already joke around.

Kihyun looks at his bestfriend with soft grateful eyes, nodding slowly at him.

" _It's all thanks to you, Min._ " he smiles warmly.

As the main vocalist rubs his side a bit, feeling a growing tension on his ribs, Jooheon runs towards him.

"You okay, Ki ? Does it hurt ?" he asks worriedly.

"I'm fine, don't worry. Sitting in the same position for an hour was just a bit taxing on my ribs. But I'm alright." he reassures his friend. 

"Nope, I'm not letting you walk all the way to the house if your ribs are already hurting." Jooheon decides.

He grabs his friend's legs and lifts him up.

"What are you doing, Joohoney ?" Kihyun asks with a startled look.

"Don't worry, just think of me as a mode of transportation." Jooheon laughs.

"Hey ! I'm Kihyunie's horse !" Hyungwon complains.

"Be quiet, Maximus ! You're not the only horse around, you know !" Minhyuk joins the laughter.

"Ahaha let me go, Jooheon !" Kihyun smiles. 

"Never !" the rapper shouts back with a huge grin, begining to run all over the place.

"Ouch !" Kihyun cries in pain as Jooheon's jumps hurt his side.

"That's enough, Jooheon. Let him down, you're hurting him." Shownu orders with a bossy voice.

"Ki, I'm so sorry !" the rapper apologizes worriedly.

"It's okay, I'm not made of glass." he grins at his friend.

Hae-rin watches them from afar before commenting.

"Well, you sure changed compared to when _we_ were goofing around." she mumbles.

Kihyun sighs and turns towards his childhood friend.

"What's wrong now ? First I wasn't funny enough and when you finally see me laughing, you still complain."

"Pff... Never mind." she walks back at the car.

"Hey Kihyunie, remember when you used to come back from school and would call for me with this song that I love ?" Kihyun's grandmother smiles warmly.

The singer returns the melancholic smile before nodding.

"Yeah, I do."

"In reality I kinda refused to let him in as long as he didn't sing for me." Rosa chuckles a bit, turning to Minhyuk's smiling face.

"What a torture." Kihyun laughs back.

"Which song did you request ?" Hyungwon asks politely.

"Bad Romance by Lady Gaga." she winks at the traditional tall young man.

"Yeah, my grandma's a huge Lady Gaga fan. Who would've thought, huh ?" Kihyun laughs to himself.

Minhyuk chuckles with him.

"What ?! She's a beautiful and strong woman, I highly respect her." Rosa justifies herself with a little smile.

"You're free to like whoever you want, grandma." Kihyun winks at her.

She smiles a bit before running to the house and locking herself in.

"I won't let you in until you sing that song for me." she laughs to her own evil mind.

"What ? Come on, grandma." Kihyun tries.

"Nope, won't do. Until I hear the words bad and romance together, I won't open up." she answers with a proud smile.

"Singing could hurt his ribs." Shownu argues worriedly.

"I'm fine." Kihyun soothes his friend.

"You not singing would prove my point, you're not a real singer." Hae-rin says with a satisfied grin.

"What did you just s-" but Jooheon is interrupted by Kihyun's soft hand.

"It's fine, I used to sing this song everyday for years. I really don't mind singing it again." he says, looking at his grandmother with a little smile.

He knows that the older woman is acting this way only to lift his spirits up. This house carries so many painful memories that Rosa is just doing her best to get his mind off unpleasant thoughts. And probably to piss Hae-rin off.

"But you didn't sing since Mr.Cho hurt you, only little melodies with us at the hospital but you could hurt your throat by overdoing it." Minhyuk worries.

"It's just singing, right ? Then I'll be fine. I'm a singer, that's what I do and live for. It's not some crazy perverted teacher who's gonna shut me up." Kihyun says seriously.

Minhyuk smiles at his friend's determination and hurries to get his phone out of his backpocket.

"Wait then, I wanna record for later." he laughs.

"Pfff..." Hae-rin sighs.

Kihyun doesn't aknowledge her and turns to his grandmother.

He tests his high voice the way he always does and Hae-rin immediately shuts up.

After a few seconds, he begins singing heartfully at his lovely grandmother.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccotCivjUxo>

" _I want your love and I want your revenge,_

_You and me could write a bad romance._

_Oh, caught in a-_ "

Minhyuk drops his phone with a little apology. That makes Kihyun smile before going on. 

" _-bad romance._

_Oh, caught in a bad romance._ " 

Rosa smiles fondly and unlocks the door.

"Welcome home, sweety." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Monbebes !
> 
> I finally posted a new chapter, I'm so deeply sorry about the long wait ! I have so many things going on with my job that I really tried to write as often as I could but it was really hard so please forgive me !
> 
> Did you see the Maximus reference ? If you did, please tell me about it in the comments !
> 
> I did a little video for our Kihyunie's Bad Romance, hope you liked it and if you did, please mention it and I'll do it more often.
> 
> What did you think of Mr.Hyun or Hae-rin ? Oh and of course what about Rosa Yoo ?
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, again I'm truely sorry for taking so long !
> 
> Love you all !


	12. The Music Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Monbebe !
> 
> I hope you're all doing okay, I tried to post as quickly as I could this time and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.
> 
> I read a lot of comments about Rosa Yoo's involvment in Kihyun's childhood and I hope you'll get the answers you were all looking for ! I love reading your theories on this fanfiction, it's really amazing !
> 
> Please keep on commenting and on searching for solutions because you're all like...
> 
> "You got answers, I got questions."  
> (Please comment if you got the reference)
> 
> Love you all !

"Woah ! These are the rooms we'll be sleeping in ?!" Changkyun says in excitement.

"Awsome !" Hyungwon adds.

"Yeah, you all have separate rooms on this part of the house. I know you're used to sleeping in shared bedrooms but you're free to sleep on your own here." Rosa explains with a soft smile.

"Hum, is there a room with two beds, maybe ? I'm kinda used to sleeping with Kihyunie." Minhyuk asks. 

He hasn't slept anywhere apart from Kihyun ever since they began living together and it seems weird for him to sleep on his own with everything that's happened recently.

"I'm sorry, love. But the only room with two beds is...being renovated." she eyes Kihyun with an odd look.

Kihyun watches her quietly and lowers his head silently. But the quiet gesture doesn't go unnoticed by Shownu.

"I'll let you unpack, boys." Rosa smiles nervously and heads downstairs.

"Did I say something wrong ? I didn't mean to bother her..." Minhyuk whispers.

"She's fine, don't worry Min." Kihyun smiles at his bestfriend.

"Is it about this mysterious room with two beds ? I don't really understand but you both seemed pretty upset when he brought it up." Shownu comments.

Kihyun looks at their leader with sad haunted eyes.

"Well... when Yun and I came here to visit our grandparents, we couldn't stand sleeping apart and asked them to rearrange our room so that we could stay together. This is the only room with two beds in this house." Kihyun explains with melancholic eyes.

"Oh... I understand why she doesn't want us to invade your space, Ki." Shownu nods.

Kihyun shakes his head before speaking.

"I don't sleep there anymore. Nobody actually set a foot in there since..." he doesn't finish his sentence, his voice cracking at the memory.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kihyun. I didn't mean to bring it up." the leader apologizes.

"It's okay, I don't mind." he smiles softly.

"But where will you sleep then ?" Jooheon asks.

"I have my own room. I've lived here for many years, remember ?"

"Then...you won't be sleeping with us ?" Minhyuk asks worriedly.

"I won't, sorry." 

"It's fine, we can talk even if we're not in the same room anyway." Hyungwon winks at his friends.

They all laugh a little before chosing their rooms.

"I'll let you unpack then." Kihyun smiles gently before joining his grandmother downstairs.

  
"Everything okay, sweety ?" the older woman asks her grandson with a huge smile.

"Yeah, they're not used to such big rooms. They're just like children right now." he laughs.

"Do you need anything for your own room ?" 

"No, it's fine. Actually I'll head to the music room for a little while if you don't mind." he grins a bit.

"Of course, love. Take all the time you need." Rosa answers kindly.

  
Meanwhile, upstairs. 

"I don't want Kihyunie to sleep on his own... I'm a bit worried about him." Minhyuk confesses.

"Yeah, me too. I'm sure this place must remind him of hard times." Shownu replies.

"Well, like he said, he spent many years here. He probably made lots of good memories too." Changkyun smiles softly.

"You're probably right." they both agree.

After half an hour chatting and unpacking, Minhyuk heads downstairs first.

"Hey there ! How do you like your room, Minhyuk ?" Rosa asks him when she sees his little smile up the stairs.

"It's perfect, thanks again ! Hum, isn't Kihyun with you ?" Minhyuk asks worriedly.

"He's in his music room in the basement. You can join him if you want." the old woman shows him the way.

When Minhyuk hears Kihyun's beautiful voice through the basement's wall, he stops walking. He eyes the amazing music room and decides that his bestfriend probably needs some alone time with his piano.

He sits silently in front of the door and listens quietly as his bestfriends confides in his instrument.

Shownu's the next to come downstairs. He sees Rosa, alone, and freaks out immediately.

"What's going on ? Where are Kihyun and Minhyuk ? Are they okay ?" he asks nervously.

"Calm down, Hyungwoo. They're just in the music room together." she says warmly.

"Oh, okay... Sorry for overreacting." Shownu apologizes with embarrassement.

"It's fine, you're quite the protective kind aren't you ?" she smiles.

"Probably, sorry about that." he says shyly.

Rosa gets up and walks in front of this fine young man.

"Come with me, Hyungwoo. Let's take a walk." she instructs calmly.

Shownu follows her, knowing that this little walk is just a way to isolate him from the rest of the band.

They walk in the garden for a few minutes before the leader breaks the silence.

"You said you wanted to talk to me this morning ?" he asks politely.

"Yeah, apparently my grandson has taken quite a liking in you and I was wondering why." she turns to him seriously.

"I also greatly appreciate him, Mrs.Yoo. He's an amazing vocalist and a very relatable member of our band." Shownu explains.

He doesn't know how far he can go and starts small at first.

"I'm sure he is. But I'm more curious about your personal relationship with him. You must know that Kihyun isn't one to trust easily."

"Yeah, I noticed that. Actually at first I was a bit pushy with him, but now that he explained everything, I can only understand his inherent distrust." Shownu nods.

"Now that he explained everything ? What do you mean by that ?" Rosa looks at him with suspicious eyes.

"At first he only told Minhyuk. He apparently had some kind of nightmare at the dorm and found comfort in confiding in his roommate. Minhyuk can be a really good listener, believe me. They kept it between them for a while but after what happened with Mr.Cho, Kihyun felt comfortable and safe enough with all of us to explain what had happened to him during his childhood." the leader finishes with sad eyes.

Mrs.Yoo doesn't say anything for a few seconds and stops walking.

"He told you about my son ?" she asks, almost ashamed to talk about it.

"Yes, he did. After a few days at the hospital, he also told us about what had happened to Yun... I'm really sorry for your loses, Mrs.Yoo." Shownu explains respectfully.

"Thank you, Hyungwoo. I can't actually believe Kihyun told you everything, I'm so proud of him." she smiles, walking slowly again.

"You should be. It was really brave of him, even more given what he just went through with the singing teacher." 

Rosa only nods, smiling softly at the thought of her grandson finally opening up to his most trusted friends.

"Hum...It might be a bit inappropriate but there's a few things I don't really understand, would you mind if I ask you a couple of questions ?" Shownu says nervously.

"Go ahead, boy." Mrs.Yoo nods with a smile.

"Well, Kihyun told us that you welcomed him here after Yun died. But what I don't understand is...why didn't you take both of them here before it could escalate this far...?"

The older woman looks down and sighs.

"It doesn't make sense, does it ? I know it may seem like an easy answer but...I was afraid."

"Afraid ? Of who ?" 

"Of the concequences. You know, before Aera died, we were such a united family. The boys came by at least three or four days a week, it was such happy times."

"Aera ?"

"Kihyun's mother. She was the kindest and the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Kihyun looks so much like her it's unsettling. Anyway, everything was perfect until she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. My son began drinking more and more, so much that the boys didn't wanna go home anymore and spent their mother's last months at the hospital." she explains sadly.

Shownu doesn't say anything, just nods.

"It's really hard for two little kids to watch their mother slowly die like that. They were inconsolable, but my son... he just couldn't take it."

"So he began taking it out on Kihyun and his brother." Shownu comments.

"Yeah... I had no idea at first. They didn't visit anymore but I thought we just had to give them enough time to mourn." she almost whispers.

After a long sigh, she looks up at Shownu again.

"I was such a fool at the time. Jinho, my own son, was clearly losing his mind but I didn't even know about it. After a few months, my husband discovered that he was stealing money from our company so, one night, we decided to confront him about the irregularities in the company's budgets and went to their home." she stops.

Shownu frowns a bit.

"What happened ?" 

"My husband and Jinho argued and yelled for _hours_. The kids were in the living room with us, curling on themselves in fear. It apparently wasn't the first time that they had heard their father shout so much. I still remember Kihyun clinging to Yun's trembling body and whispering reassuring words to him. It was at this moment that I understood. Kihyun seemed too experienced with this kind of behavior, I even noticed a few bruises on his arms and neck. But Jinho yelled unrespectful insults at his father, who decided that he never wanted to hear anything from him ever again."

"What about his grandchildren ?" 

"I told him that we couldn't just leave them at this place, that we had to take them with us. But he slapped me in the face, telling me that, as a woman, I just had to shut up and go back to the car." a single tear escapes her taunted eyes.

Shownu looks at her with disgusted eyes.

"My God, I'm so sorry Mrs.Yoo." 

"No, you don't have to be sorry, you don't understand. I'm the one who should apologize ! I had two frightnened kids in front of me, begging to be taken away from their abusive home and all I did was obey and get in the damn car." she explains.

Tears of frustration stream down her old eyes.

"I..I still remember Kihyun's broken voice calling for me and pleading me to come back."

Shownu sighs at the thought of it.

"We went home and never heard from them again. I often tried to convince my husband to go back for Kihyun and Yun before something terrible could happen, but he just yelled at me for even bringing our son up. He shouted that they were all dead to him and that whatever happened to the kids weren't his business."

She looks at Shownu with sad eyes.

"I still hate myself for abandoning them, you know. Imagine how betrayed Kihyun must have felt when he begged me to stay and that I just pushed him away, leaving them into this hell hole." Mrs.Yoo is now freely crying.

Shownu doesn't know what to say or do.

"I went back there on my own a few times, behind my husband's back. But Jinho wouldn't let me in the house... He called the police and told them I was here to hurt him and the boys."

"He did _what_ ?!" 

"Yeah, he said that I threatened them all and he asked for a restraining order. He even used Kihyun's bruises as proof of me hurting him."

"What an asshole..." 

"When my husband found out, he was so mad. He said that he'd kill me if I ever tried anything of the sort. And I believed him, he had so much power over my life that I didn't even try to fight for my family..." she cries a bit.

She has never confessed those feelings to anyone and it hurts a lot.

"It's okay, Mrs.Yoo. It's not your fault, it was different times." Shownu tries to soothe her.

"It shouldn't matter. Not when the life of my two precious grandchildren depended on it..." 

"Well, you took care of Kihyun after your husband died." 

"Yeah, but it was already too late. My monster of a son took Yun's life and broke my Kihyun. When he began living here, he couldn't even talk. After a few months of nightmares and panic attacks, he finally told me about the sexual abuse Jinho put him through. And do you know what he did when he saw me crying ?"

Shownu looks at her tearful eyes with a sad frown.

"He hugged and comforted me. He kept whispering that it wasn't my fault and that I had nothing to blame myself for." she explains.

The leader smiles sadly at how adorable Kihyun was and still is.

"Can you actually believe that ? My little baby, who I abandonned and betrayed, who had to suffer so much for so many years because of my own negligence, hugging an old woman like me and reassuring me."

"Typical Kihyun." Shownu says softly.

"I don't know what I did to deserve this young man and I have no idea how he survived through all the abuse, but one thing's for sure ; I will not lose another child. I will protect and love him with my whole being for the rest of my life."

"Then that makes two of us."

"I'm not kidding, Hyungwoo. I sure as hell am not perfect, but I won't let anyone else ever take adventage of his kindness or abuse his trust. If you are to remain by his side, you need to promise me that you'll take care of him."

"I will, Mrs.Yoo." 

She sighs in relief.

"He really likes you, you know ? When we're on the phone, he never shuts up about how handsome and amazing you are. I can see that you are a respectable and polite young man. But what Kihyun needs is someone generous and gentle, someone who respects and trusts him. Will you be able to be this someone, Hyungwoo ?" she asks seriously.

"I will try my best, Mrs.Yoo. I don't know how Kihyun feels about me but I sure as hell feel a lot more for him than simple friendship. He is amazing, beautiful and so kind-hearted. I can't bear the thought of someone hurting him and already lost my cool when I saw what this singing teacher had done to him." he looks down in shame.

"I want you to protect him, Shownu. But I won't allow this thing you have together to go any further if I find out that you're a violent man."

"I am not. It was just...when we came in, Mr.Cho was on his body, kissing him all over and I..."

"I know. It hurts to see the ones you love being hurt. I totally get that. When I discovered that Jinho was the one who actually killed Yun and hurt Kihyun so badly for so long, I only had one thought in mind ; kill him. He's my son and I'm supposed to love him unconditionally but..."

"I understand." Shownu nods.

Mrs.Yoo looks at him with trustful eyes.

"As I know my boy, he'll try to push you away, saying that he can handle himself just fine and that he doesn't need your help. But he desperately does."

"He seems to be fine now, even after what happened with Mr.Cho." 

"Yeah, that's why I'm saying that he really needs you. Kihyun has been forced to keep everything inside for so long that he's used to hurting alone. When Aera died, he tried to stay composed and not to cry for Yun's sake. Then he hid what he felt from the rest of the world for years because of my son before coming here."

"But he knows that he can tell us when he's hurting, he can confide in us." Shownu says, trying to understand his friend's psychology.

"He probably won't, it's because he feels like he's bothering you. When he started living here, he used to cry in his pillow to make sure I wouldn't hear it. He blamed himself for what had happened to Yun and I know that he still does. So please, stay by his side. Never let him retreat into himself again."

"I won't, Mrs.Yoo. I promise you, I'll love him and stay by his side as long as he'll have me." 

She smiles fondly.

"Well then, protect him by all cost and you'll have my blessing. Oh and you can call me Rosa, honey." she laughs a bit.

When they walk back in the house, they guys are still upstairs playing silly games to pick a room while Minhyuk and Kihyun are still downstairs.

"They're still in the music room ?" Shownu asks.

"Yeah, just like old times." Rosa smiles with melancholy.

"What was it like to live with a teenager Kihyun ?" Shownu laughs a bit.

"Amazing. He's so easy to live with and he brought so much warmth to this big empty house."

"I'm sure he did." Shownu says softly.

"Before my husband died, it was always so quiet here. He never allowed me to put on music or things like that. But when Kihyun arrived in this place, it was like living for a second time for me. He came here with this beautiful voice of his and completely changed the atmosphere surrounding this place."

"I understand, it's the same at the dorm. I don't know, when he's in the room it seems like everything suddenly changes and we all feel better. It's really overwhelming." 

"Well, it took him some time to find himself again. For his first few months here he didn't talk and didn't sing. It was so strange to see my ever cheerful and laughing Kihyun suddenly stop singing and smiling. But we worked things through and he finally sang again." she smiles.

"I'm glad you helped him."

"Of course, I knew how important singing already was for him. He had always dreamed of being a singer, it was Yun's idea." she chuckles a bit.

Shownu just smiles fondly.

"Anyway, he used to spend hours at the music room, writing songs and singing beautifully. That's why I pushed him to take Starship auditions." 

"I'm extremely glad you did." Shownu answers honestly.

"Yeah, me too." 

Mrs.Yoo eyes him with joyful eyes.

"I know you can't wait to join him too, just like Minhyuk. Go on, I'll ask Hae-rin to order something for lunch." she laughs while walking away.

Shownu nods before walking quickly to the basement. It's been too long since he's seen his friend and after what Rosa just explained to him, he needs to make sure that he's alright and safe. 

But when he arrives in front of the music room, Minhyuk is crying on the ground.

"Min ?! What's going on ?! Where's Kihyun ?!" Shownu asks in worry.

But Minhyuk just shakes his head and shushes him. He moves a bit, giving his friend enough space to silently sit next to him.

Minhyuk looks at him with tearful eyes before whispering.

"Just listen." 

Shownu doesn't really understand before he hears piano notes playing on the other side of the closed door. He turns a bit and understands what's going on. 

Minhyuk apparently stayed here to listen to Kihyun's singing and didn't want to interrupt. The leader relaxes and lays his head on the door, focusing on Kihyun's beautiful voice.

"I don't know this song." Minhyuk whispers.

"He probably composed it himself when he was younger." Shownu says, wraping an arm around his sobbing friend.

For Minhyuk to be in this state, it has to be pretty heavy.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th84hBMl784>

" _I'm slowly killing myself,_

 _I'm trying so hard at the back of the shelf._ " Kihyun's voice resonates sadly.

Shownu frowns, imagining the circumstances that pushed him to write such lyrics with disgust.

" _It's just the same every day,_

_I'm writing these songs that will never get played._

_I get told what's wrong and what's right._

_I don't have a romantic life._

_And everyone's dying_

_So I keep on trying_

_To make them proud before they are gone._ " 

Minhyuk sobs more and more and Shownu hugs him tightly.

" _Can't someone help me ?_

_Oh, please someone help me_

_I don't care ; anyone, anything_

_'Cause I'm so sick of being so lonely_

_Miss all my family._ " Kihyun's voice breaks a bit with each word.

" _Oh, I don't care, anyone, anything_

 _'Cause I'm so sick of being so lonely..._ "

Shownu thinks about his discussion with Kihyun's grandmother and his eyes begin watering too. 

"He acts so brave and strong when the truth is he's still as lonely and hurt as he was in the past. I'm sure this whole thing with Mr.Cho affected him more than he wants to show us." the leader whispers to his crying friend.

"It's just so unfair... I'm so mad and sad at the same time." Minhyuk mumbles back.

"I know, Min. Me too." Shownu answers.

When he suddenly hears quiet voices coming from the hall, Kihyun stops playing immediately.

"Is someone here ? Who's there ?!" he asks with a slightly panicked voice.

At that, Shownu gets up and opens the door slowly.

"It's just us, Ki. We didn't mean to interrupt." he apologizes.

Kihyun sighs in relief and joins his friends.

"It's okay, you came alone ?" he asks, walking towards the hall.

When he spots Minhyuk on the floor with tears in his eyes, he immediately worries.

"Minhyuk, what's going on ? How long have you been here ?" he mumbles to his bestfriend, crouching in front of him.

"N..Nothing, Ki." Minhyuk whispers back, quickly wipping his tears away.

"Min, don't push me away. How long have you been here ?" 

"A l..long time..." 

Kihyun looks at Shownu and the leader smiles sadly.

"It's alright, Min. There's no need to cry." he tries to soothe his bestfriend.

"B..But I don't want you to f..feel lonely anymore..." Minhyuk sobs a bit.

Kihyun understands that his last song's lyrics really worried his friends and smiles a bit, happy to be surrounded by such empathetic and gentle people.

"Minhyuk, look at me." he lifts his bestfriend's chin.

The latter slowly rises his head.

"I am fine, okay ? Of course I still think about what happened with Mr.Cho and this house surely reminds me about a lot of unhappy stuff. But I'm fine, you are all here with me and that's exactly what I need right now." Kihyun explains warmly.

"R..Really ? You don't feel l..lonely...?" 

The main vocalist smiles softly.

"Sometimes I do, but that's how things are, right ? We all feel lonely sometimes and being here, without my little brother, it makes me sad. But there's nothing either of us can do about it, it's just...life. It's shitty but that's how it is." Kihyun says.

"I'm s..sorry you feel sad, Kihyunie..." Minhyuk mumbles.

"Well, I sure now feel a hell sadder knowing that I made my little sunshine cry." he smiles widely and wipes his bestfriend's tears away.

"I'm sorry, I won't cry then." Minhyuk pouts a bit, making Kihyun and Shownu laugh loudly.

"Your music room is amazing, Kihyun." Shownu changes the subject.

"Thanks, my grandma made it for me when I moved in. I spent so many hours here that it's almost like my second bedroom." he smiles warmly.

The three of them enter the room joyfully, the previous tears completely forgotten.

At this moment, the four missing members run downstairs.

"Guys, Hae-rin is calling for us upstairs." Hyungwon explains while walking towards his friends.

"Oh my freaking God, is that your music room, Ki ?!" Jooheon exclaims, already grinning like crazy.

"Yep ! There's even drums in the back." Kihyun answers proudly.

"That's awsome !" Wonho laughs.

But as Jooheon walks to the drums, he finds old pictures spread out on the floor.

"What's that, Ki ?" he asks, curious.

"Oh, nothing. It's nothing." Kihyun rushes on the floor to pick the pictures.

"Who's that sexy girl over ther ?" Changkyun smiles flirtly.

Kihyun frowns with a little grin.

"It's my mother, you pervert !" he laughs.

Jooheon, Wonho and Changkyun quickly kneel on the floor, picking the pictures and passing them between each other.

"It's your mom ?! Woah, she's so beautiful !" Hyungwon joins them.

Shownu eyes the other boys, not understanding how they can be so relaxed when talking about such a sensitive subject.

Minhyuk notices their leader's reaction immediately and whispers quietly.

"It's not because she's not here anymore that we shouldn't talk about her, Shownu. I'm sure Kihyun loved her very much and we're honoring her by smiling and laughing together around her pictures." he explains gently.

Shownu thinks for a second before nodding.

"You're right, I'm an idiot." 

"You're not an idiot, you're just worried about someone you really care about, that's all. By the way, we'll have to talk aout this little _thing_ between you and my soft Kihyunie later." Minhyuk winks at him.

They focus their attention back on the group.

"Wait a minute, how could this beauty be your mom ?!" Wonho adds.

"Well, she was a model."

"You look so much like her, Kihyun. Your grandma was right." Shownu mumbles.

Kihyun looks at him with suspicious eyes.

"My grandma talked about my mom with you ?" he asks.

"Yeah, kinda. I'll explain later. But she said it was incredible how you two look alike and I completely agree !" the leader answers.

"What about explaining now ? I don't really like you teaming with my grandma behind my back." Kihyun laughs a bit.

"She just gave me the _I'll-kill-you-if-you-don't-take-care-of-my-grandson_ talk, that's all. We went for a little walk on the garden and the discussion randomly fell on your mother. She told me that you two looked exactly the same and that she was a wonderful woman."

"And also a gorgeous woman, that's for sure." Minhyuk says, picking a picture from the floor.

"Yeah, those were taken during a photoshoot for a fashion magazine." Kihyun explains, showing another picture.

"With your mother's looks, no wonder you're so beautif-" Shownu stops himself mid-sentence, suddenly aware that he's openly fantasizing on his coworker.

Minhyuk turns to him with big surprised eyes, making the leader blush in embarrassment.

"What are those pictures doing here, Ki ?" Jooheon asks, completely oblivious to their leader's confession.

"What the fuck was that ?!" Minhyuk whispers furiously to his friend.

"I'm sorry, okay ? It just slipped out, I didn't think !" Shownu begins panicking, looking at Kihyun for his reaction.

But in fact, Kihyun is too absorbed by his mother's picture to even register what Shownu has just confessed.

" _What an idiot. We'll never get anything done with those two oblivious dummies._ " Minhyuk thinks to himself with a laugh.

Kihyun looks at Jooheon and answers his previous question as if nothing happened.

"This place is my own little sanctuary, I like keeping pictures of my mom near me when I compose. I just love to look at her laughing, look, this is one of my favorites." he smiles fondly, showing another picture.

"You have her smile." Hyungwon whispers with a warm smile.

"Thanks, that means a lot. She was so bright, whenever she entered a room everybody just relaxed and smiled with her." he answers, laughing a bit.

"You mean like me, right ?" Minhyuk hugs his bestfriend exageratedely.

The latter laughs loudly before hugging him back.

"Yeah, of course just like you, idiot." he smiles.

"Oh my God, is that you, Kihyun ?!" Changkyun finds other pictures.

"Yeah." Kihyun blushes a bit.

"Oh you're the cutest kid ever !" Minhyuk laughs.

"No, Yun was. Look at this one." Kihyun answers with a little proud grin.

"Okay, my heart is melting. You're both the most adorable creatures in the world."

"Isn't every baby the most adorable creature on earth ?" Kihyun laughs.

"No, I've seen Joohoney's baby pictures and he just looks exactly the same as he does now !" Minhyuk teases the rapper.

"Well that just means I'm still an adorable creature !" Jooheon tickles his friend.

"Ahahah ! You don't get it ! I mean, look at this smile !" Minhyuk says.

"I have to admit that your little Tom and Jerry T-shirt does the trick, Ki." Hyungwon chuckles.

"It was my favorite." the main vocalist winks at his tall friend.

"I really like this one with your mom." Shownu tries to speak steadily, still recovering from his little confession induced heart-attack.

"Yun added the little heart stickers because he was jealous not to be on the picture, it was so cute." Kihyun chuckles a bit.

Wonho grabs a few pictures harshly, making the main vocalist's heart skip a bit. He grabs the bent pictures with a sigh.

"It's actually the only pictures I have left of her, Wonho. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't shred them to pieces with your over muscular arms." he asks with a nervous smile.

"You don't have any other pictures ? How come ?" Jooheon says.

"When she died, my dad burnt all of our family pictures. He said he couldn't stand the sight of my mom. So I grabbed as many as I could and hid them for years." 

"I get it, I'm really sorry." Wonho apologizes.

"It's fine, just please be careful." Kihyun nods at him.

Shownu eyes a precise picture lovingly.

"If you were a girl, you'd be the exact reflection of your mom, Kihyun. That's really amazing, look at this one !" Shownu shows them, still amazed by the resemblance.

"Hum, guys ? I don't mean to kill the fun but isn't Hae-rin waiting for us upstairs ?" Changkyun tries nervously.

"Who cares about her ? I still haven't tried the drums !" Jooheon laughs while runing towards the back of the room.

Kihyun smiles at his friend's rebelious spirit.

"You also know how to play the guitar, Ki ?" Wonho asks in awe, noticing the few guitars next to the piano.

"What exactly _can't_ you do ?" Shownu smiles lovingly.

"Well, he sure can't handle us ! We're too messy for his maniac tastes." Minhyuk laughs.

"You say one more word and I'll show you how maniac I can really become, you dirty roommate !" Kihyun punches his shoulder playfully.

Wonho silently grabs the guitar while the two of them tease each other and gives it to Kihyun.

"Wanna play something for us ?" he asks with a smile.

"Well, I didn't prepare anything." the singer apologizes.

"Come on, Ki. I'll even follow you on beatbox." Jooheon winks at the main vocalist.

Kihyun thinks for a few seconds before deciding on which song to sing.

"You see the Rude song, Joohoney ?" he asks his friend.

"I'm with you on that." he smiles confidently.

They all sit down on the couch and Kihyun begins playing.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC-JI2nJFuM>

At the end of the song, they all clap in joy.

"It's really cool, Kihyunie." Minhyuk adds.

"Well, now that we know that you can play the guitar and that you compose your own songs, I'd really like to hear one of your own composition." Jooheon says with a smile.

"Oh, it's really not that good, don't bother." Kihyun answers softly.

"Come on, it can't be worse than this time when Shownu tried to write our lyrics." Changkyun laughs.

"Hey ! It wasn't that bad !" Shownu tries to defend himself.

He looks at Kihyun for support but the singer just shakes his head.

"I'm really sorry, Shownu, but it wasn't that good either." he chuckles.

"Okay then, show us what you got !" the leader exclaims.

"Yeah, Kihyunie's song !" Minhyuk cheers.

"It's..It's not that I don't want to play for you. It's just that I wrote those songs a long time ago and they're not really...happy songs." Kihyun explains.

"It's fine, Ki. Every song doesn't have to be cheerful and everything. We're just interested in what you created, that's all." Changkyun replies soothingly.

Kihyun thinks for a second.

"Okay, I have a song that I can play for you but it's a bit personal. I wrote it after I had a fight with Yun when I was like eleven years old so it's a bit straight-forward." 

"That's perfect, Ki. I'll try to follow you on the drums or the beatbox if needed." Jooheon smiles.

Kihyun nods and starts playing again. This time, his expression isn't a cheerful one and everybody can feel how intimate and meaningful this song is for him.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cKD3FmcyVY>

" _Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am home again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am whole again._ "

Jooheon begins drumming softly.

" _Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am young again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am fun again._ "

Minhyuk can't stop thinking about Kihyun's feelings. How would it feel to sing this song now that his brother's not here anymore ? But the next lyrics surprise him.

" _However far away, I will always love you._

_However long I stay, I will always love you._

_Whatever words I say, I will always love you._

_I will always love you._ " 

Kihyun's lips tremble just a little bit, showing how emotional he's growing. At the time, he had written those lyrics to tell his brother that even when he's at school or somewhere else, he always loved him.

But now, Yun is the one who's gone and this time, he'll never come back. Suddenly this song rises to a graver and deeper level and the young singer can't believe he's actually singing to his _dead_ brother.

Yun's dead. That's it. He's gone and even with all the love in the world, he'll never come back. What breaks his heart isn't the fact that he'll never see his brother smile or laugh again. 

What's breaking him are all those little things Yun never got the chance to experience, to see, to feel. He only got one hell of a childhood and that's it. No happy ending for him, he'll never have supportive friends, not a kind word, no shoulder to cry on. He just died crying and then, _nothing_.

Kihyun composes himself and tries to hold his tears back.

" _Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am free again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am clean again._ "

Shownu's eyes begin to water too, the message of this song is so clear and harsh that he can't keep a straight face. Kihyun is clearly refering to his father's abuse and it hurts, it hurts so much...

They all listen quietly as Kihyun breaks more and more. He begins sobbing heavily and almost can't sing anymore.

"Kihyun..." Shownu whispers.

The leader gets up and walks slowly towards his friend. He stops his fingers on the guitar and hugs him tightly.

"I'm s..so sorry..Yun..." 

"It's okay, Kihyun. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Shownu reassures him.

"I f..feel so guilty. H..Having you by my side, living m..my dream as a s..singer...He'll n..never get this chance. It s..should have been his l..life...I should h..have died instead o..of him." Kihyun cries.

Shownu's heart just breaks. He can't say anything, it hurts too much to hear those words coming out of the man that he's begining to love more and more each passing day.

"Don't say that, Kihyunie. You worked so hard to be where you are now, you have nothing to feel guilty about." Minhyuk joins them.

"He's right, you said it yourself. If there's one thing you'll never be ashamed of, it's your hard work." Hyungwon hugs the three boys too.

"If anything, Yun would be so proud of you right now." Changkyun adds.

They stay like this for a few minutes, giving Kihyun enough time to just lash out and cry his heart out. After a while, he slowly calms down and relaxes in his friend's arms warm.

"You can live for the both of you, you can dream his dream and become the man he always wanted you to be, Ki. Isn't that amazing ?" Jooheon smiles sadly.

Kihyun chuckles a bit between his tears.

"Yeah, that's amazing." he whispers.

They're all relieved, seeing that their friend feels now a little better thanks to their support.

"Yay, group hug !" Wonho laughs before jumping on them all.

"You're heavy, Wonho !" they all complain.

"Oh come on, I know you like it when we hug all together." he answers with a laughs.

"Of course we do !" Minhyuk says, cheerfully hugging Kihyun even more tightly.

Kihyun begins laughing with still tearful eyes.

"You're gonna finally break my ribs, Wonho. Congratulations." he teases him with a little grin.

"Everybody, move. _Now_." Shownu says seriously, suddenly pushing everybody aside.

"Oh, man !" Jooheon laughs as he rolls on the floor.

"Eoppa is back to protect Eomma from their chaotic children !" Hyungwon giggles.

Rosa watches them from the doorframe, smiling at those lovely kids. 

" _He'll be fine._ " she thinks to herself.

She hears Hae-rin complaining and calling for them from upstairs and turns angrily.

"Would you just shut up for once in your bloody life, Hae-rin ?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think about Kihyun's grandmother now ? Still suspicious or did she win your heart ?
> 
> I'm also extremely curious about your opinion on Aera Yoo (Kihyun's mother) and the edits I made !
> 
> Hope you liked it,
> 
> Love you all !


	13. Instagram Account

Hey Monbebe!

Don't worry, I'm currently writing next chapter!  
I just have something I'm curious about. You've been so many to comment on this fanfiction and giving me theories of possible outcomes for the next chapters that I've really been enjoying writing this fanfiction WITH you!  
That's amazing and I won't ever thank you enough for the joy it brings me!

I guess some of you have questions or would like to participate more actively in the actual writing of this story so I wonder if any of you are interested in Instagram lives or Twich lives with me ❤️  
I'd really like to be able to speak with you or share some crazy writing stories with all of you!

Maybe you wonder about how I edit the pictures or create the videos with the appropriate songs or things like that and it could be great to speak about that through this kind of social media!

What do you think about this? Please let me know in the comments 💕

Even without a live, I just made an Instagram account for this fanfiction. You can find it with my name : Lost.Tears.Fanfiction

I'll post pictures of me writing the new chapters, maybe ask you to chose between two different edits and little hints or previews of the next chapters 😉  
If you're curious and interested, please let me know and follow me on this Instagram page 👍

Love you all, can't wait to hear from you all again!

Elina


	14. Instagram Live

Hello Monbebe!

I will be on Instagram Live tomorrow at 6PM (UTC+2) to continue writing and editing next chapter! If you wanna join me, you can find me on the name

lost.tears.fanfiction

Can't wait to meet you tomorrow with this live! ❤️

Love you all!


	15. The Graves

"Hae-rin's gonna be so pissed at us." Minhyuk chuckles.

In the end, they spent another hour in the music room laughing and teasing each other.

"Serves her right, she's an ass." Jooheon answers.

"Jooheon, it's our manager you're talking about." Shownu scolds him.

"I know, but I don't like her ! I don't like the way she laughed at Kihyun at the hospital, I don't like the way she talks about him and I can't stand her constant complaining." the rapper explains.

"Isn't it a manager's job to always complain ? I mean, I'm also always nagging at you at home." Kihyun adds.

"That's different." Jooheon pouts.

"How ?" Kihyun laughs a bit at how illogical his friend is being.

"Because you're our Kihyunie !" Minhyuk laughs, hugging his bestfriend from behind.

"And because if you didn't, the dorm will already have exploded by now." Hyungwon adds with a smile.

"Agreed." Shownu nods.

"Anyway, why are you defending her, Ki ? She's been nothing but unfriendly to you since she saw you at the hospital." Wonho asks.

"Well, she wasn't like that when we were younger. She used to be really kind and caring, Yun truely liked her. He never shut up about marrying her one day." Kihyun laughs softly.

Suddenly, they hear loud barking from upstairs. Kihyun's eyes light up as a wide smile crosses his face.

"Tempo !" he says, running upstairs despite his hurting rib.

They all follow him upstairs and find Rosa and Hae-rin with a beautiful white dog.

"I was sure you'd come running here if you heard him." Rosa laughs a bit.

"Of course, how can I ignore my cutie Tempo !" Kihyun joins her and cuddles the dog lovingly.

"He seems so calm and fluffy, his name is Tempo ?" Shownu says, kneeling in front of the pair.

"Yeah, Kihyun brought him home years ago. He was lost on the streets during a nasty storm. I told him that we should find his previous owner and return him home but the dog never left Kihyun's side ever again." Rosa smiles lovingly.

Shownu returns her smile before speaking again.

"Where does this name - Tempo - come from ?" he asks gently.

"I really liked the Exo song, that's all." Kihyun answers, his eyes still focused on his dog.

"He even knew the choreography back then." Rosa chuckles.

"Oh, you really have to show us, now that we know about it !" Jooheon laughs.

Kihyun looks at him with a grin.

"Only if I'm drunk." he winks at his friend.

The rapper laughs but is interrupted by Hae-rin's serious tone.

"Well, that's good for you. But while you were having fun with your friends, I've been waiting here for more than an hour !" she scolds him.

"We're very sorry, you asked us to bring the whole team back with us but we just ended up playing the guitar and singing. We truely apologize." Changkyun bows politely.

"Well apparently the dog made a better job at bringing this dummy back than you did." Hae-rin retorts coldly, pointing at Kihyun.

"Hey, don't call him dummy." Minhyuk answers seriously.

"Since I'm the one who's been here waiting for you guys, I can call him whatever I want." she speaks back.

"Who do you think you are ? It's not because Mrs.Yoo had the kindness to name you manager that you have to treat us this way." Shownu gets up.

"You of all people should listen to what I say, Shownu. You're the leader and aren't even able to prevent your members from having fun instead of working. That's not what I call a strong leadership." she argues.

Kihyun turns back, letting go of Tempo and facing his childhood friend. 

"You can insult me as much as you want, Hae-rin, but I won't let you disrespect my friends and even less my Shownu." he retorts angrily.

" _My Shownu...?_ " Kihyun thinks to himself, catching himself thinking about their leader in a more intimate way.

He lets it go for now and focuses on Hae-rin again.

"He's an amazing leader, don't you dare imply that he's not doing his job !" the young man says coldly.

"And what work are you talking about anyway ?! I thought we were on vacation." Wonho adds.

"You are, but first we have to speak about what happened a few days ago at the dance studio. I recieved a call from a very angry singing teacher, complaining about Kihyun not showing up to singing practice." Hae-rin explains.

"You can tell this bastard that he won't be going anymore." Jooheon replies.

Hae-rin doesn't listen to the rapper and moves on.

"Since you weren't here to explain to me exactly what happened, you can understand that I was a bit taken aback when he told me on the phone that Kihyun tried to sexually _bribe_ him to obtain easier singing lessons."

"He said that ?!" Minhyuk almost shouts in anger.

"Yes, but you're lucky, Kihyun. He won't press charges and agreed to continue working with you in the future. You only need to apologize to him." she says.

"He wants _me_ to apologize ?!" Kihyun answers, shocked.

"That's total bullshit ! At the hospital, you told me you'd do everything in your power to avoid him working with this asshole ever again !" Shownu adds.

"That was before knowing what happened !" she argues.

"Well you clearly have wrong informations, Hae-rin." Rosa tries to keep everyone calm.

"Well someone explain to me what happened then ! How do you expect me to act or to be of any help if I have zero information ?!" she shouts.

They all fall silent. Kihyun sighs before speaking.

"You're right, Hae-rin. We're sorry to have kept you in the dark when you were just trying to help. You have to understand that it's really embarrassing and difficult for me to talk about what happened, and even more to someone I haven't seen in so many years." Kihyun tries his best to stay calm.

"And you also have to understand that I need to know everything to be able to help you." Hae-rin calms down a bit.

"In fact, you don't really _need_ to know anything, Hae-rin." Rosa intervenes.

She knows for a fact that Kihyun hates when people pressure him and that he really doesn't want Hae-rin to know about something this personal.

The members look at her with confused looks before Hae-rin almost shouts.

"What ?!" 

"Well, if Kihyun isn't comfortable telling you about what happened then he has no obligation to." she adds.

"And how am I supposed to do my job if I don't know everything about the members I have to take care of ?!" 

"By trusting them. We all have a private life and things we don't want anybody else to know about. All you _need_ to know is that Kihyun was assaulted by his singing teacher and that this man hurt him badly, that's it."

" _She's..She's right._ " Shownu thinks to his friends.

"But.." Hae-rin tries.

"Why do you wanna know exactly what happened so much, anyway ? You don't need to tell the company board juicy little details about this assault just to convince them that Kihyun cannot work with Mr.Cho again, do you ?" Rosa goes on.

"No, I..I don't." she replies nervously.

"Then it's settled. If Kihyun feels comfortable enough to tell you, he will. Until then, you know everything you need to know." Rosa concludes with a little satisfied smile.

All the members look at her with amazed eyes. 

" _She's so cool._ " Jooheon comments mentally.

" _Please don't fall in love with my grandma, Joohoney._ " Kihyun chuckles.

" _In any case, she really cares about you Kihyunie._ " Minhyuk adds.

" _I know._ " he looks fondly at his grandmother.

"Now that we're good, what about lunch ?" Rosa says cheerfully.

"Yeah ! I'm so hungry !" Wonho replies.

"Me too, I'm hungry." Shownu adds, rubbing little circles on his stomach.

" _When are you not ?_ " Kihyun thinks to his friend.

" _Your grandmother doesn't need to know that I'm a food blackhole._ " Shownu answers with a laugh.

" _Oh so what, you're afraid of her not liking you ?_ " Kihyun teases him.

" _I don't know if she likes me or not but she apparently trusts me to take care of you. That's all that matters to me._ " he answers mentally with a little blush.

Minhyuk watches the two young men with curious eyes. They have been chuckling and grinning at each other for the last few minutes without anyone speaking, that's weird.

"Shownu, why are you blushing ? A..Are you two _thinking_ to each other without us ?!" he whispers, completely confused.

"Well I thought you all heard." Kihyun defends himself.

"No, what were you thinking about ?" Jooheon adds.

"Just a little joke about him being always hungry." the singer explains.

"But how are you two talking without us ?! I mean, did you focus on each other or something ?" Minhyuk comes back on topic.

"I..I don't know, it was natural. I just wanted to talk to Shownu and I did." Kihyun answers with a little blush.

"You should try to chanel your thoughts to only one member to see if it also works." Shownu suggests.

" _Minhyuk is the dumbest child the world ever created._ " Changkyun thinks to Jooheon.

"Hey ! I heard you !" Minhyuk protests.

They all laugh joyfully.

"I guess you'll need to work on that then. Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to have a super secret and mysterious discussion without you." Shownu teases with a soft smile, hugging Kihyun from behind and taking him to the kitchen where Rosa and Hae-rin are waiting.

"Kihyuniiiiie ! Don't leave me behind !" Minhyuk whines while following them to the table.

"Come on, boys. I ordered so much food, I hope you're hungry !" Rosa says cheerfully.

"Always !" Wonho smiles.

They all settle down but before anyone could touch the food, Rosa grabs Kihyun's cellphone and calls for them all as Hae-rin waits patiently behind her.

"Boys ! Look here !"

"She loves pictures." Kihyun tells his friends with a gentle smile.

They all look at the older woman as she takes a picture and begins eating with everyone.

"So, you studied abroad Hae-rin ? Where did you live ?" Changkyun asks their manager as a white flag.

"I studied in Chicago." she answers politely.

"Chicago ? Oh I really want to go there in the future !" Shownu adds.

"Yeah, he always says he comes from Chicago. That's ridiculous." Kihyun chuckles.

Teasing their leader has become his number one hobby over the past few days.

"Well, maybe we'll go there during a world tour." Hae-rin winks at Shownu.

"And why did you choose Chicago by the way ?" Kihyun asks.

Hae-rin looks at him with disappointed cold eyes.

"I guess you don't remember but my mom moved to Chicago when my parents divorced. I stayed at her place during my studies." she answers sharply.

"Right, sorry it didn't cross my mind." he apologizes sincerely.

"Of course, you never paid much attention to my family anyway." she mumbles, hoping that nobody but Kihyun would hear it.

But of course Shownu does.

"Do we still have a problem, here ?" he says seriously.

Kihyun looks at him with surprised eyes before softly placing his hand on his shoulder.

" _Please, don't make a scene. I'm really tired of us all fighting over little comments like this._ " he tells his friend mentally.

"She shouldn't be making those comments in the first place." Shownu says out loud.

"What comment ? I'm just telling the truth." she shrugs.

"Of course I always cared about your family situation, Hae-rin. Don't start." Kihyun sighs.

"Oh, you did ?! I don't remember you visiting my mom in Chicago once !" 

"Not everybody has the money to fly all the way to Chicago." Jooheon adds.

"Well, with Mrs.Yoo here I bet it wouldn't have been an issue." Hae-rin defends herself.

" _She didn't even have the legal right to approach Kihyun and his brother, I don't think she could have them fly on the other side of the world._ " Shownu thinks to himself. 

He knows that what Rosa told him earlier was strictly private and he doesn't want to betray her trust just because their stupid manager doesn't shut the hell up.

"He had Yun to take care of." Shownu replies coldly.

"He would have been okay on his own for a few days. But no, you always had to treat him like a little baby and overprotect him, Kihyun ! He would have been just fine _without_ you." she argues.

The tension suddenly explodes at this comment.

" _Guys, don't-_ " Kihyun tries to calm his friends down mentally but they're already too angry to stop.

"Who the fuck do you think you are to speak to Kihyun like that ?!" Minhyuk gets really angry.

"I don't fucking know when your parents divorced but you don't leave a child like Yun into such a household on his own !" Shownu almost shouts.

"Oh come on ! He was already ten years old and Jin was home too, he could have taken care of him !" Hae-rin yells back.

At that, Rosa slams her fist on the table really hard, making everybody else shut up. She slowly looks up at Hae-rin with haunted eyes.

"You speak his name one more time in this house and you're done Hae-rin. This discussion is over." she says coldly.

"But-"

"Just stop it." Rosa instructs coldly.

"It's all Kihyun's fault ! If he hadn't been so selfish back in the days..." the new manager murmurs, still angry.

"Selfish ? Kihyun ? Ahaha, that's a freaking joke." Minhyuk laughs sarcastically.

"Kihyun doesn't have one selfish bone in his entire body." Jooheon adds.

"That's true, everything he ever did, he did it for Yun." Hyungwon says.

"Stop treating him like a child, it's pathetic !" Hae-rin answers.

"You're the one acting like a kid, Hae-rin." Shownu answers coldly.

Kihyun chuckles a bit at his friend's comment. Hae-rin focuses her attention on the main vocalist again.

"Kihyun ! It's _you_ we're talking about, why don't you say something ?!" Hae-rin adds.

He turns his head in her direction with a tired look.

"If you became our new manager to dig the past up and to criticize the way I behaved when we were young, you can just resign already. We'll find someone else, with less personal links." he explains calmly.

"What ?! I'm not digging the past, I'm just..."

"Complaining. Again and again about how hard it was to get me to go out with you guys among other things. But you're right, Hae-rin, I'm sure your childhood must have been terribly painful because of friends like me." he replies ironically.

"Well at least you had Yun ! Even if the poor boy never had a say in any decision that you made, at least you had someone to keep you company !" Hae-rin says.  
Minhyuk looks at his bestfriend, amazed by how calm he still is despite all the rude comments.

"Okay, first ; I didn't need anybody keeping me company. Believe me, I was busy enough. And secondly ; my relationship with my little brother was already none of your concern when we were younger and even less now, so please just mind your own business." Kihyun answers with a sigh.

"What's going on with you ?! First you stop making friends and always rush home after school when we were younger, then I finally find you but you're at the hospital completely beaten up and now you're acting like a brat ! What's the freaking matter with you ?!" Hae-rin gets angry.

The whole team looks at Kihyun slowly losing his cool. 

"What's the matter with _me_ ?! Let me rephrase what you just said : first my mom died and my dad began hitting me so often that I wouldn't even leave my little brother alone with him at home !" he almost shouts.

"You could have brought him with you ! We all liked Yun !" Hae-rin defends herself.

"Even without Yun in the picture, he beat me up so roughly everyday that I was too ashamed of my own body to go out with my friends ! Then you finally find me at the hospital because my singing teacher tried to fucking rape me a few days prior and now I'm just really sick of you barging in my life and complaining about everything !"

"I'm sorry about Mr.Cho, but don't you think you're exagerating a bit with your father ?! I mean, you came to school like the rest of us and never complained about having issues at home." Hae-rin blames him.

"I did, Hae-rin ! I fucking did ! You were like a big sister to Yun and I and I tried to tell you so many times that things at home weren't as it seemed but you never _listened_ !"

"Well excuse me if I wasn't completely focused on your little family melodrama ! You gave up on our friendship when I also had things going on in my own life ! My parent's divorce was hard for me too !"

"And I supported you ! When your parents got divorced I called you everyday, came to see you at your house, I even wrote a song for you ! But where were you when _my_ family litterally imploded ?! Where were you when my dad bursted wine bottles on my head just because he was too drunk to actually hit me ?!" 

Hae-rin doesn't know how to respond to that and just lets Kihyun burst his anger and frustration.

"I confided in you, told you exactly what was going on ! But you just ignored me and went back to your shiny and perfect everyday life. Do you have any idea what _my_ everyday life looked like ?! Being humiliated, abused and beaten by my own dad before going to school as if nothing ever happened, pretending that everything was fine ! Every single day I tried my best not to faint from sleep deprivation and exhaustion at school because I knew it would make things much worse ! I always went home as early as I could just to make sure that Yun would never be alone with my dad and then I had to endure the same beating and the same violation every night, every hour !"

Hae-rin looks at him with tearful eyes, understanding the hell her childhood friend went through because she was too selfish to even try to help.

Nobody dares to say anything, not even Rosa.

"I tried my freaking best, Hae-rin, I really did ! But in the end I wasn't a good son, I wasn't a good friend and even less a good brother... " his hands begin shaking a bit.

The new manager lowers her head in shame and sadness.

"But it was so hard. Just so fucking hard. You have no idea what it feels like and I'm glad you don't. You say that I gave up on our friendship and I know that I've done a lot of mistakes and you can blame me for so many things. But never did I give up. Until Yun's last breath, I _never_ gave up. I'm sorry if I wasn't the perfect friend but you let me down, Hae-rin."

"N..No I..."

"You did. I begged for your help but you turned your back on me ! I supported you when things went south with your family, I was always by your side. But nobody was by mine when I took blows after blows before ending up fainting from the pain ! Between the two of us, I'm not the one who owes the other anything ." he finishes.

Kihyun breathes heavily and stands up.

"I'm not hungry anymore, I'm taking Tempo on a walk." he states coldly.

The white dog looks at him with apologetic eyes, he has somehow always felt when Kihyun was angry or sad.

Shownu immediately tries to follow him but Rosa grabs his arm and looks at him with sad eyes.

"Let's give him time, okay sweety ?" she asks tenderly.

Shownu sighs and looks at Kihyun again.

" _Do you want me to come with you, Ki ?_ " he asks his angry friend mentally.

"Please don't." Kihyun answers out loud before closing the door and leaving for good.

  
"Happy now ?" Minhyuk whispers to Hae-rin angrily.

"Not at all." she answers in shame.

They all stay in a heavy silence for a few seconds. Wonho even puts his chopsticks on the table and stops eating because of the growing tension.

"You're not gonna say anything...?!" Jooheon asks Hae-rin in anger.

"What is there to say ? I screwed up, nothing to add..." 

"You didn't just screw up, you litterally offended him so much that he couldn't even stand your presence." Shownu sighs.

"Yeah, even when I bother him for hours he never gets this mad." Minhyuk says.

Hae-rin just lowers her head even more. She can't stand the blaming glares the members are shooting at her.

"Is it really safe to let him wander alone like that ?" Shownu worries a bit, looking at Rosa.

"He'll be fine. He knows this place like the back of his hand and he has Tempo with him. He's a really gentle dog but he's been trained to attack if Kihyun or I are in any kind of danger." the older woman answers softly.

She watches the young group for a while, seeing how worried and sad they all look because of everything Kihyun just bursted out. 

"You all knew about the big picture but having details like that thrown into your face makes it way more real, right ?" she whispers.

A few guys just nod, unable to hide how those graphic descriptions of Kihyun's childhood really impacted them.

"I know it's hard to hear about what actually happened, but it's over now, okay ? Kihyun would smack all of your foreheads if he saw you all like this." she chuckles a bit sadly.

They all return a little smile and Rosa turns to Hae-rin seriously.

"And you. You're not gonna try to apologize ?!" the old woman asks.

"I don't know how..." the manager mumbles in embarassment.

"Just sitting here isn't gonna make things better, idiot ! You really hurt his feelings with your selfishness and your bloody big mouth ! So stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it !" she says seriously.

"I bet he doesn't wanna see my face right now..." 

"Of course not ! And that's exactly why you should talk to him now. Kihyun is a sensitive young man but he's also an expert at pretending everything's fine and at putting a polite and nice facade. It's not often that he loses his cool like he just did and that's exactly why you should find him now that he's still completely honest about his feelings." Rosa explains more softly.

"You really know him well, don't you." Shownu adds with a little smile.

"I do, he's my precious grandson afterall." she returns the giggle.

Hae-rin still stays silent, curling more and more on herself.

"Hae-rin, look at me young woman." Rosa instructs.

The manager slowly looks up with tearful eyes.

"I..I'm really sorry, Mrs.Yoo..." she whispers, tears falling from her eyes.

"It's too late to apologize to me, love. When I hired you, you promised me you would be honest with Kihyun and tell him exactly how you've felt for the past ten years. But you didn't. I gave you time but you just went on attacking him and his friends."

"I..I know..." she nods.

"I understand that behind all this anger and agressiveness, you have a lot to say to my grandson. So please, just find him and be completely sincere with him. He won't hate you, he won't blame you. But at least you owe him the truth about why you didn't help him years ago." 

"You're right, I'm sorry. I will go now." Hae-rin dries her tears before standing up.

Rosa nods gently.

"You know where to find him." she smiles a bit sadly.

"Y..You're not gonna scold her ?!" Jooheon interrupts them.

"After everything she did and said to Kihyun, it's alright for her to just leave like that ?!" Minhyuk adds.

"You don't know the whole story, guys." Kihyun's grandmother says softly.

Rosa turns to Hae-rin and simply nods, giving her agreement to leave. When the old woman hears the door closing, she looks at her guests.

"This woman has been hating herself for years because of what she did or didn't do in the past. She's been coming here and asking for Kihyun for months and even when they were younger, she always watched him from afar, too ashamed of herself to come any closer."

"It's not because she feels ashamed that she should act this way." Shownu answers coldly.

"I know, but believe me, she truely cares about Kihyun and I'm sure that having her in his life will really help him get closure on everything that happened in the past." Rosa smiles a bit.

  
Meanwhile, on a forest path.

"Really she doesn't understand anything !" Kihyun complains to Tempo.

The dog just looks at him happily, satisfied to be able to spend some alone time with him.

Kihyun grins back and picks a few flowers in his way.

"She has the guts to call me selfish when all she ever does is complaining all the time ! Of course I got mad !" he continues speaking to Tempo.

The latter watches him silently and stops walking. He looks at his owner with understanding eyes. The singer sighs and cuddles him for a few seconds.

"I know, I shouldn't work myself up like that. It's useless, I'm sorry." he apologizes with a smile.

They walk for a few more minutes and finally stop in front of beautiful trees and a little clearing. Kihyun sighs and walks slowly towards two half burried grave stones.

"Hey there." he smiles softly.

Tempo sits beside the stones and barks in joy. Kihyun joins him on the ground and places the flowers he picked up earlier in between the stones.

"Got you flowers, Mom. I know you it's your favorite." he whispers with a little chuckle.

He closes his eyes for a few seconds and breathes deeply. When he opens his eyes again, he smiles widely. Being close to his family like that always eased his nerves. He's been coming to this spot with Yun ever since Aera died, it was like their secret place. Their dad never came here, it was their own safe heaven.

After Yun died too, he continued coming here when he was upset or when he wanted to talk with his mother and brother. At first he came here to feel less lonely. He just spoke to them for a while as if they were still here but he quickly understood that each time he visited their grave, the void created by the loss of his loved ones just broadened.

Kihyun tries not to think about all this and relaxes a bit.

"You're not gonna believe who is back, Yun. Hae-rin !" he laughs a bit.

Tempo is used to those little grave talks and sits silently beside Kihyun, supporting him quietly.

"She's not how she used to be though, believe me. Now she's a real pain in the ass." he stops suddenly and covers his mouth with his hands before laughing a bit.

"Sorry, Mom. I know you don't like it when I swear, but she really annoys me. She changed so much and now she complains all the time. She even said that I never supported her when her parents got divorced ! Can you believe this ?!" Kihyun goes on.

He continues speaking to his family about Hae-rin for a while before talking about MonstaX.

"The guys are amazing ! You would have liked them so much, Yun ! They even have powers, like me. No, not like me ; much better ! Shownu is super strong and manly, you would have found him really handsome !" he smiles widely.

After noticing that he keeps on talking about their leader over and over again, he suddenly stops himself.

"I really like him, you know Mom. He's so kind and caring, I can't stop thinking about him. Whenever I don't feel good, he's by my side and comforts me the best he can. When I have nightmares or when I'm sad, he's always so understanding and soothing." he stops for a few seconds.

"I miss you so much, you know. Sometimes I feel like everything is so useless without you two here..." he whispers sadly.

Tempo lowers his head and silently shares his pain.

Kihyun thinks about Hae-rin and everything that happened to them both since they first met. He laughs a bit nervously before swiping his tears away with a sigh.

"What a mess, right ?" he says, looking at the two graves.

Tempo lays his head on Kihyun's lap in comfort.

"I really trusted her, you know ? She was my own superheroine, I always say that you were the one seeing her as our sister, Yun. But the truth is that I was the only one entirely convinced that she would be our savior, that she would take us out of there..." he lowers his head.

With a few tears, he begins singing quietly.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI1Ttb6D4I8>

" _I should have known, I'd leave alone._

 _Just goes to show, that the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe._ "

He thinks about their father, how he blamed himself - and still does - for every blow, for every beating.

" _We were a pair, but I saw you there._ "

Memories of Ilsan Lake flash in front of his eyes ; the still water capturing his little brother's body and never letting him resurface, how empty he had felt at the time.

" _Too much to bear._

 _You were my life but life is far away from fair._ " 

As he catches his breath, Hae-rin comes back in his mind.

" _Was I stupid to love you,_

_Was I reckless to help ?_

_Was it obvious to everybody else ?_ "

He doesn't notice that Hae-rin had silently caught up to him in the forest and is now watching quietly from afar.

" _That I'd fallen for a lie._

_You were never on my side,_

_Fool me once, fool me twice,_

_Are you death or paradise ?_

_Now you'll never see me cry,_

_There's just no time to die._ "

A few silent seconds let Kihyun slowly compose himself. He hears nervous footsteps behind him and Hae-rin gentle voice.

"It was never a lie, Kihyun." she whispers softly.

He looks back at the young woman, surprised to see her here. He sighs tiredly, all the previous fight exhausted him. The fact that he didn't eat lunch probably doesn't help either and his painkillers are slowly disapearing from his system. He surely doesn't have the energy to yell like he did earlier.

"If you came here to insult me again, please have a tiny bit of respect and let's not do that in front of my family." he whispers.

"I'm not here to fight, I'm here to apologize. I know that I haven't always been a great friend to you or Yun, but I cared about you. The bond we had, it wasn't a lie." she adds.

She sits beside Kihyun on the floor and bows a little to the two graves.

"Hello Mrs.Yoo, Yun. It's been a long time." she whispers, mostly to herself.

Kihyun watches her quietly, appreciating her courtesy. Instead of laughing at his face that he's just crazily talking and singing to two liveless stones, she plays the part and respects his way of honoring their memory.

"It's a bit cold today, I brought you a turtleneck to keep you warm." Hae-rin says gently.

Kihyun hesitates for a few seconds but it's true that he's kind of cold so he takes the turtleneck and puts it on before speaking.

"Why are you here, Hae-rin ? I really don't care about what you can think of me anymore." he tells her seriously.

"But I do. I've hurt you so many times and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you the way I did earlier, I can't apologize enough." she explains nervously.

Kihyun looks at her for a few seconds, he's trying to understand. He's way calmer than he was before, this place comforts him. It's as if he's actually with his family and this simple realization eases his mind.

"I just don't get it, Hae-rin. Why ? We were best friends, nobody could get between us when we were younger. But you rejected me, refused to help me and now you're coming after me and my friends again. I don't understand, what did I do to you to make you behave like that ?" he asks sadly.

"You didn't do anything, Kihyun. It wasn't your fault. It's just..." she stops, too embarrassed and nervous to go on.

This little shyness reminds him of his young best friend. She was always there to protect Yun and him in front of bullies and other dangers, but when it came to her own feelings, she always blushed like she's currently doing. 

It brings a little melancholic grin to Kihyun's face.

"Hey." Kihyun lifts her chin softly.

She looks at him with tearful eyes.

"It's just us, Rin. No need to say hurtful things now, no need to get angry or embarrased. It's just you and Kiki, so tell me what's wrong. I'll always listen." he smiles gently at her.

Hae-rin laughs a bit at her friend's silly nickname and takes a deep breath.

"We were so young when everything fell apart. I remember the day you lost your mom... I didn't know what to say or what to do to make it better. At the time, death wasn't as real and hurtful as it is now and I really had no idea about how to handle this."

"I remember, you were here for the funeral. You didn't say a word, just hugged me. Yun was so jealous that he came running between us." Kihyun chuckles.

"Yeah, I didn't know what to do but I thought a hug would make you feel better." she smiles.

"And it did." Kihyun answers softly.

Hae-rin nods at his reply before looking down.

"I was never good with comforting speeches. So, when you came to me and confessed about how your father was hurting you, I didn't know how to react or what to do. We were so young, I had never faced this kind of violence in my entire life... It was too much for me. I just couldn't believe a father to be capable of doing such horrible things to his own son and even less to my bestfriend..."

Kihyun listens silently.

"So I went home that night and completly broke down. I thought about Yun, about you and everything you were willing to sacrifice to make sure your little brother would be safe. It was so hard to take it all in that I couldn't help but ask my parents for help. I explained everything and begged them to help you. I already knew that I, as a kid, wouldn't be able to get you out of there. But I was convinced that my parents would have solutions and answers..."

She takes a shaky breath.

"But they didnt. They yelled at me and scolded me for believing you, saying that you were only trying to attract attention. They were always the passive type and avoided conflict at any price, but I never imagined they would react this badly. They forbid me from talking to you again and told me that I should stop seeing you." Hae-rin bursts in tears.

Kihyun looks at her with a frown before hugging his childhood friend. He can't possibly stay mad at her when she's hurting like that because of him.

"It's okay, it's okay Rin." he whispers.

"It's not okay, Kihyun. It's far from okay ! I was stupid and I believed them when you were the one I should have believed..." she continues crying.

The singer tightens his hugs and comforts her.

"You were young, Rin. Children are so easily influenced and manipulated, you trusted your parent's judgment, as any other kid would have. As you said earlier, I suddenly exposed you to a lot of violence, much more than a child your age can take. You weren't ready to handle all this pain, all this brutality." Kihyun soothes her.

"Neither were you." Hae-rin mumbles, crying even harder.

"Touché. But believe me, I know how it feels to trust your parents with everything you have and ending up betrayed by them."

The young woman shakes her head.

"I listened to them, rejected you and I hate myself every single day for it. It killed me to see you coming at school more and more skinny and bruised. I longed for your smile every day but you seemed to disconnect from us through the years. Even Yun hated me, and there was nothing I could do about it, he was right to." she sighs.

"Hum, about that... I never told Yun that you refused to help us. He trusted you so much, I didn't see myself breaking his hopes and admitting that our sister didn't care enough about us to do anything." 

"I cared, Kihyun. I cared so much and I was stupid and selfish and-" 

"I know, Rin. But at the time that's what I believed. To me, our big sister just abandonned us and I couldn't bring myself to show Yun who I believed you truley were. I told him that I was too embarrassed to tell you, that I chickened out." Kihyun explains.

Hae-rin thinks for a second before looking at him with honest eyes.

"Thank you, Kihyun. You have no idea-" 

"I do. I completely understand, Rin. At least now you know that he didn't die hating you, I get it." he smiles sadly.

Hae-rin understands that that's exactly what Kihyun thinks of himself.

"Kihyun, Yun never hated you. He loved you, so much." she places a comforting hand on his back.

The singer looks down, repressing his sobs.

"Y..You didn't see the way he looked at me...There was blood everywhere a..and he begged me to help him. I could feel him screaming underwater when my dad pushed him overboard." Kihyun breaks a bit, closing his eyes.

"It's not your fault, Kihyun. Yes, he was scared of what was happening to him, to the both of you, but it doesn't mean he blamed you for it." she tries.

"You don't know about that for sure." he retorts coldly.

Hae-rin watches her friend for a while before deciding to try another approach.

"No one will ever know now, he's gone." she says rudely.

Kihyun looks at her with betrayed and hurt eyes.

"He's gone, that's a fact. And as painful as it is, you're here and he's not." she goes on.

Tears come in Kihyun's eyes.

"W..Why are you saying this to me ?! Why are you being so mean again ?!" he asks her, sobbing.

"I'm not being mean, I'm being harsh. But sometimes, harsh is good."

"What good is there in throwing the death of my little brother in my face ?!"

"You don't get the point, Kihyun. I'm not throwing Yun's death in your face, I'm throwing _your survival_ in your face. But you feel so ashamed and you blame yourself so much that you can't see it anymore."

Kihyun calms down a bit, trying to take in what she's explaining. He watches her with confusion but curiousity too.

"I'm not repeating that Yun's dead over and over, I'm restating over and over again that you're alive and out of this awful place."

"But at what price..." Kihyun answers coldly.

"You have to stop blaming yourself, Kihyun. Nothing that happened was your fault and Yun would be really mad if he saw you like this, hating yourself for things that weren't your responsability."

Kihyun stays silent, trying to compose himself and calm down.

"I've blamed myself for hurting and rejecting you when you needed me the most for my whole life, and I still do. But what did it change ? Hating myself over what I did or didn't do never helped me get closer to you or making it up to you. If there's anyone to blame here, it's me." 

At that, the singer lifts his head up and looks at her.

"That's nonsense. You're not the one to blame for Yun's death. I am, my dad is, but you were just a kid, there wasn't anything you could have done." he tries.

"Well, imagine for a second that I didn't reject you when you asked for my help and actually did something about it. You wouldn't have been so hurt and traumatized, we could have gotten you out of this place and Yun would be laughing beside us both right now." she explains sadly.

"Stop it, Rin. I've lived with this for a really long time and believe me, I've listed every single small event that could have changed the outcome and avoided Yun's death. But it's not worth it, he won't come back and there's nothing that could change that." Kihyun sighs.

They both stay silent for a while before Hae-rin laughs nervously and sadly.

"Look at us. Both blaming ourselves but still comforting each other and saying that it was no one's fault." she says.

Kihyun smiles a bit at that.

"Yeah, we can't possibly listen to our own advices, can we ?" he answers softly.

Hae-rin takes Kihyun's hand in hers.

"I never meant to hurt you, Kihyun. I care about you, like a brother, and I can't stand to see you in pain. I made so many mistakes in the past and behaved so rudely that I know you'll never forgive me. But I'm sorry. I waited for so long before telling you this but I'm so so sorry. After I realized how deeply I had hurt you, I watched you from afar and sometimes followed you quietly here. I watched you speak to your mom and brother and it broke my heart."

"Why didn't you come closer ? Why did you stay away even after realizing all this ?" Kihyun asks seriously.

"I was too ashamed of myself. I thought you hated me and that you'd reject me the same way I did when we were younger. It went on for years, and then I met your grandmother." Hae-rin explains.

"Did she change your mind ?" 

"She did. At first she thought I was a stalker and was ready to call the police, but then I explained everything. She was really gentle and kind, she loves you so much. She made me understand that even if I felt ashamed and blamed myself, you still needed me by your side. Even when we were kids, I gave up when I believed I couldn't help you face your father when in reality, just having a friend to hug you from time to time would have been way better than nothing."

Kihyun nods in agreement.

"When I confessed to you about my father's doing, I never expected you to magically make it go away. I just wanted a friend, someone to tell me that everything was gonna be alright, that I wasn't disgusting or tainted." he adds.

"You're not disgusting or tainted, Ki. You never wanted any of what this man did to you, you're a victim, not a toy to use as a punching ball or a prostitute. I should have told you this so long ago and I'm really sorry not to have been the person who comforted you in the past. I should have but I was too afraid to support you and to make you feel loved. I'm really sorry, Kihyun. For everything..." Hae-rin whispers.

Kihyun takes a deep breath, it's not easy to forgive someone who hurt you this much. But he's willing to take another chance with her, if she wants to.

"Listen, Hae-rin. I can't say that I don't resent you for the way you behaved in the past, but I understand where you come from. We've all made mistakes and things we're not proud of during our childhood, but I believe that people can change. I see how you blame yourself and how this whole story hurts you now. It was the same with grandma, she made mistakes and stepped down when she shouldn't have. But she changed and I now would trust her with my life, without any doubt." Kihyun tells her.

Hae-rin listens carefully, truely sorry for their lost relationship.

"But before I can fully forgive you, I need know ; why did you say all those things to my friends and I ? We finally found each other and instead of apologizing or just talking things out, you attacked us." Kihyun asks, confused.

"When I don't know how to deal with hurtful feelings, I tend to act very agressively and to attack people. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean any of what I said. Seeing you again, with all those nice guys, I felt even worse than before. You're so close to them, it could have been me in their place, but instead I destroyed our relationship... I guess I acted on jealousy. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, we all say hurtful things when we're confused and angry. It's kind of flattering that you felt jealous over this bunch of idiots." Kihyun chuckles.

Hae-rin smiles at him.

"You're really close to them, aren't you ?" she answers with a grin.

"Yeah, they're amazing. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or when the little control I have over my self-loathing is faltering, they always have my back and get me back on track." he replies softly.

"I'm glad they're by your side, Kiki. And also, I'm really sorry about what happened with your singing teacher. I understand that you don't wanna tell me about it, but just know that I support you and that I'll always be on your side." Hae-rin speaks seriously.

Kihyun looks down.

"He's one of my dad's friend. Apparently, he didn't care about me until I stole his student's spot as MonstaX's main vocalist. It upset him a lot and given everything that my dad had told him about what he'd done to me all those years, he wanted to _give me a lesson_." 

"What an asshole."

Kihyun looks up at her.

"Don't swear in front of Yun, please." he says half-seriously.

Hae-rin smiles sadly.

"I'm sorry."

Kihyun nods before going on.

"Well, Minhyuk had me set up an emergency call contact in case anything happened so I immediately called him when Mr.Cho began acting violently. He tried to come to the studio with Shownu and Jooheon as fast as he could but he had already done some damage." Kihyun gestures to his bruised face.

"What happened then ?" she asks carefully.

"I don't remember exactly what happened when they finally got there, he had hit my head really badly and I was unsconscious. But when I woke up, Shownu had knocked him out and they were all around me. I saw that my shirt was torn open and I realized what had really happened..." Kihyun's voice shakes a bit at the end.

"Did he...?" 

"No, he didn't. But he would have if the guys didn't come in time. After that, the bastard woke up and locked Shownu and Jooheon in the recording room. Minhyuk tried to protect me but Mr.Cho just grabbed his hands and kinda handcuffed him."

Hae-rin doesn't say anything. The first time Kihyun had tried to confide in her, she had abandonned him and hadn't even tried to listen. But this time it's different, she's not a scared little girl anymore and she's determined to support her friend no matter what.

"I struggled, tried to set free but he had already cracked my ribs and I didn't have any energy left. So I tried to bear with it, I focused on Minhyuk and tried not to acknowledge the disgusting feeling of this man's hands on my body...He didn't rape me, but if Jooheon hadn't caused a fire in the studio, he would have." Kihyun whispers.

"I'm really sorry, Kihyun. I'll try my best to make sure that this man won't approach you ever again, I promise." Hae-rin says softly, placing a hand on her friend's trembling shoulders.

Kihyun looks back at her with grateful eyes.

"Thank you." he smiles gently.

After some quiet time, the pair starts going back home with Tempo.

"When we get back there, could you please protect me from Shownu, Minhyuk and Jooheon ? They really want me dead..." Hae-rin laughs a bit.

"Don't worry, they already know we made up." Kihyun chuckles.

"How come ?" she answers, confused.

"We're kinda connected, that's really handy. They immediately know when I'm not feeling okay or if I'm in danger." Kihyun explains proudly.

"Is that linked to the strange power you had when we were kids ? What was it again..? Ah ! You could heal people !" Hae-rin remembers.

"Yeah, they all have this kind of powers. I guess that's why we're connected like that." the singer explains.

"That's amazing. Oh, but...Did you talk about me behind my back ?!" Hae-rin laughs.

Her friend looks at her with apologetic eyes before bursting in laughter too.

"Well, serves you right ! You were really rude !" Kihyun laughs.

"Yeah, I guess I deserved it !" 

The road they take to walk back to Rosa's house crosses his old house's property and he feels a bit nervous as they approach his old personal hell.

After a few silent minutes, Hae-rin looks at her friend with curious eyes.

"What about Shownu ?" she says suggestively.

"What about him ?" Kihyun blushes a bit.

"You know what I mean Kiki." she laughs again.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rin." Kihyun pouts a bit, his cheeks turning more and more red.

"Oh come on, you don't fool anybody ! You like him don't you ?" she answers playfully.

"Yes, he's my f..friend and a great leader. I like all of my band mates." Kihyun blushes even harder.

"Is that all ? I swear I could see more between you two." she giggles.

"R..Really ? You think h..he-" he asks with hope, betraying his own denial.

"Got you !" Hae-rin laughs.

Kihyun looks down in embarrassment, feigning to focus on Tempo's happy walk beside him.

"Come on, Kiki. No need to be embarrassed like that. He's great, he seems very reliable and protective of you." Hae-rin explains gently.

"Yeah, he's really amazing. We spent a lot of time together at the hospital and he truely is a fantastic man. Just his presence helps me relax and I feel so safe when he's here. I've never felt like that for anyone else." Kihyun mumbles with a shy grin.

"I'm glad you feel this way and that he's here to soothe you when you need it. I'm sure he'll always do everything in his power to protect you." Hae-rin replies softly.

"I know. But I...I don't know how I feel towards him yet. I've never had any love interest, you know. I haven't had great experiences on the romantic level, with men pretending to do what they did to me out of love, it's a bit hard for me to accept this kind of feelings..."

"I completely understand. It's okay to take your time, you know. No need to rush." she smiles softly at him.  
Kihyun smiles back.

"Thanks, but please don't say anything to anyone. I don't want the others to-" 

Kihyun pauses mid sentence, seeing that Tempo suddenly stopped and seems to see something or someone a little bit further away.

The dog suddenly begins running towards the stranger standing on the road.

"Tempo ! What's gotten into you ?" Kihyun shouts, running after the dog.

He races after his dog when he hears Tempo suddenly grunting and barking. The singer looks up to his right and sees a man standing a few meters away from them. He looks at the pair with a sick grin and its familiarity shatters Kihyun's whole world.

  
At the Yoo's villa, Shownu suddenly stands up.

"What's wrong sweety ?" Rosa asks, not liking the worried and panicked look on her grandson's friend's face.

They were quietly drinking coffee in the living room while the others were taking a nap.

"Kihyun..." he mumbles, searching for his jacket and running outside.

" _Guys ! Did you feel that ?!_ " he almost yells in his friend's minds.

" _Yeah, what's going on ?! It's way worse than any other time._ " Minhyuk answers mentally, running downstairs too.

" _I don't know and I don't care, it comes from Kihyun and he's out there alone with this Hae-rin girl._ " Shownu replies in their mind.

" _Do you think she's hurting him ?!_ " Hyungwon adds, following the other members outside.

" _I don't think so, it seemed like they had made up earlier._ " Wonho says mentally.

" _We'll never find him if we search randomly like that !_ " Jooheon tells them seriously.

They all stop running and gather together. 

"Guys, I have a really bad feeling..." Minhyuk whispers.

"We don't have time to think like that, Min. Our top priority is to find Kihyun." Shownu instructs seriously.

"Shownu, try to focus on him like when you two talked mentally without us. Maybe you can figure out where he is and what's going on." Changkyun suggests.

The leader nods and closes his eyes, trying to focus on his friend without letting the panic quick in.

After what feels like an eternity to the others, Shownu finally opens his eyes.

"Found him." he whispers, running in the other direction.

A few miles further, Hae-rin doesn't understand what's going on but when she looks at Kihyun's panicked face, she knows this is bad.

The older man is still staring at them and takes a few steps towards the pair of friends. Tempo barks more and more, baring his teeth at the threatening man.

"D..Dad..." Kihyun whispers. 

Jin smiles brightly, atrociously happy to finally be reunited with his son.

"I finally got you." he whispers with a sick smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter ? Please let me know in the comments !
> 
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> 
> Can't wait to read what you think of Hae-rin now and what's gonna come up next !
> 
> Love you all !


	16. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING PLEASE READ
> 
> This chapter contains adult/mature topics, please read at your own discretion.
> 
> This chapter includes graphic mature pictures (no genitals or nudity). All the people represented in those pictures are MAJOR ADULTS and CONSENTING ACTORS. I would never allow myself to include pictures of actual violence out of respect for the real victims.
> 
> The sexual agressive behaviors that are described in this chapter (and in the rest of the story) are not indulged nor tolerated by this fanfiction's comunity.
> 
> If you are or have been victim of sexual abuse or any form of abuse, know that I support you with my whole heart (and so does the fandom). Don't hesitate to seek for help, my door is always open if you want to talk about it or if you need help.  
> You can contact me via my Instagram account (lost.tears.fanfiction), I'll always answer, I'll always listen.
> 
> Thank you for reading this warning, it was really important for me to get all this straight before you read this chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the story !

__

_"I wish you died instead of her !"_

_SLAP!_

_"D..Dad, please stop. Why are you doing this..?" Kihyun cries painfully._

__

_"I want you gone, just disappear ! If only you were never born !"_

_SLAP!_

_How could this evening turn this bad ? Kihyun was playfully cooking noodles with Yun but as soon as their father came back home, his anger had grown as fast as the water had heated and is now boiling furiously._

__

_"Kihyun had nothing to do with mom's sickness, dad ! Just stop it !" Yun yells._

_But the older man just keeps hitting the curled crying boy endlessly._

_"I loved her, she was my whole life ! But now I'm stuck with her exact reflection asking me to still go on as if nothing happened ! Who do you think you are, little piece of shit ?!"_

_SLAP!_

_"I..I was just saying that we have to live on, honor her m..memory..." Kihyun sobs._

_The boiling water starts overflowing on the kitchen floor._

__

_SLAP!_

_If only his mom was still here, his dad won't hate him so much and she would have protected him from his hurtful words and painful fists._

_SLAP!_

_"Just leave him alone !" Yun screams, charging at their father._

_The young boy tries to shield Kihyun's trembling body while whispering comforting words._

_Jin takes a few steps back and looks in horror at the two brothers hugging each other on the kitchen ground._

_"You disgust me !" he shouts, grabbing the boiling pot and throwing it at the pair._

_Kihyun's eyes widen but he reacts quickly. He moves in front of Yun as fast as he can._

_"Yun !" he shouts while covering his little brother's scared frame._

__

_But before he can say anything else, the boiling water hits his back and a shrieking scream escapes his gaping mouth._

_"AAAAAAH!" he yells, his grip on Yun tightening with the excruciating pain._

_"Kihyun !" the young boy shouts._

_"Serves you right, freak ! I wish I'd burned your disgusting face !" Jin yells, leaving the two traumatized boys on the ground._

_For a few seconds, Yun catches his breath, relieved that their father finally left them alone. He listens to his brother's pained whimpers._

_"Ki, are you alright...?" he asks with a trembling voice._

_Of course he's not. How could he when their dad just burned his entire back with boiling water, wishing it had been way worse._

_"I..I'm fine, Yun. Are you h..hurt anywhere ?" Kihyun whispers between clenched teeth._

_The younger boy sighs at how selfless his brother is, under any circumstances._

_"You shielded me, I'm okay. How do you feel ?" Yun asks worriedly._

_Kihyun manages a little smile._

_"Don't worry about me." he mumbles._

_"Let me see." Yun replies, actually scared to witness the damage._

_He carefully moves from under Kihyun's tense body, the pain still tearing him apart. Yun grabs the bottom of his older brother's shirt._

_"Why did this shirt have to be this thin ?!" he thinks to himself._

_But at the instant Yun starts pulling it off his back, Kihyun screams again._

_"No ! Stop it ! Please don't touch it !" the older boy begs._

_"I know it hurts, Ki. But we have to get it off somehow..." Yun apologizes._

_"N..No, Yun. Please don't do this, it hurts too much !" Kihyun sobs and begins thrashing a bit despite the burning pain._

_Yun frowns for a few seconds before sighing._

_"I'm really sorry, Ki... But I have to. "he whispers and pulls the shirt away in one big motion._

_"AAAAAH !"_

_Kihyun screams awfully before fainting from the pain._

"...hyun ! Kihyun !" Hae-rin's voice suddely breaks through his flashback.

He looks at her with wide and panicked eyes.

"Kihyun, you okay ?!" his friend asks in worry.

But the singer doesn't answer and just turns his head towards his father, still glaring at the pair.

A thousand questions rush through Kihyun's mind.

Why are you here ? How did you get out of jail this soon ? How did you find me ? What do you want from me ?

But when the young man weakly opens his mouth, he's lost his voice. Nothing comes out, it's as if he's completely paralyzed by the sight of his former torturer.

"Lost your pretty voice, _doll_ ?" Jin laughs quietly.

The nickname sends chills through Kihyun's whole body. It's been more than ten years, yet the only mention of this awful degrading name suffices to send his self-esteem to the lowest.

Jin takes a few steps towards them.

"But you know how much I loved your screaming voice, don't you ?" he smiles sickly.

Hae-rin understands the severity of the situation and steps in front of her friend.

"Stay where you are !" she orders seriously.

But Jin can't take his disgusting eyes away from his son.

"What about showing me your high pitched scream again, doll ?" he adds, completely ignoring Hae-rin's protest.

" _T..This can't be happening, not again..._ " Kihyun thinks in panic.

_Kihyun opens his eyes slowly, seeing his little brother's worried glare._

_"You're finally back, thank God !" Yun whispers in relief._

_Recalling the previous events, Kihyun sits up suddenly, pain shouting through his back._

_"Where's dad ?!" he asks in panic, checking Yun's body for any trace of injury._

_"He's still in his room, don't worry." Yun soothes him._

_Kihyun calms down a bit._

_"I have to get up, you still haven't eaten dinner." he mumbles, painfully standing up._

_This feels way too normal for him. No need to make a whole deal because of a little burn, he's used to this kind of things by now._

_"No, you're not going anywhere, first we have to reduce the burning on your back. I searched it up online and they say that you have to put cold water on it." Yun explains._

_Kihyun turns to his little brother with angry eyes._

_"You went on dad's computer ?! Are you crazy ?!" he gets mad._

_"It's fine, he was in his room."_

__

_"Yun ! I was unconscious, if he'd caught you I wouldn't even have been able to protect you !" Kihyun says angrily._

_"I can face him, Kihyun ! I'm not a fragile little boy anymore !"_

_"You're eight years old, Yun ! I'm your older brother, my job is to protect you ! But I can't have you acting recklessly like that when I'm not here !"_

_"Stop treating me like a baby ! I could take him down if you ever let me !" Yun answers furiously._

_"You're just a kid ! You can't do anything, not against him ! Now stop it !"_

_"I may be just a kid, but at least I'm not a coward like you !" Yun almost shouts back._

_"I said stop it !" Kihyun grabs his younger brother by the shoulders and kneels in front of him._

_Yun pauses for a few seconds, looking at his brother's eyes angrily._

_"This man could kill us both if he felt like it, got it ?! So please, stop wasting all the sacrifices I'm making for you by throwing yourself in the lion's mouth !" he explains seriously._

_The young boy frowns, his anger disappearing and his worry taking charge._

_"I never asked you to sacrifice yourself, Kihyun. I'm worried about you, how long can you still last like that...?" Yun whispers weakly._

_Kihyun lets go of him, sighing tiredly._

_"I hear what's happening in the basement every night, Ki. I know that those men hurt you atrociously, you scream all night long. I'm not an idiot."_

_"No one said you were an idiot, silly." Kihyun smiles sadly._

_"I'm serious, Kihyun. It's been going on for so long now... You don't sleep, you're always injured, you eat less and less through the weeks." Yun's eyes water._

_Kihyun ruffles his hair softly._

_"I'm okay, Yun. Don't worry about me." he smiles._

_But the younger boy grips his brother's shirt tightly, not letting him go._

_"I don't want to lose you too... I won't stand it." Yun sobs quietly._

_Kihyun stops smiling and hugs his little brother tightly. He can take a lot by now but seeing his little brother hurting like this tears him apart._

__

_"I'll never let this happen, Yun. You have to trust me, I'll bear with it till the end." he whispers._

_"P..Promise...?" Yun cries._

_Kihyun lets go of him and holds his pinkie out._

_"I'll get out of this place alive, Yun. It's a promise." he whispers with comforting eyes._

_"Okay, then..." Yun answers softly._

__

_They make a pinkie promise before hugging again._

_"So, no more unecessary risks, alright ?" Kihyun asks with a scolding look._

_"Okay, I'm sorry...I won't do it again." Yun mumbles._

_"Thank you. So, cold water was it ?" he replies with a little smile._

_"Yeah, let's get you in the shower." Yun grabs his hand and brings him in front of the bathroom._

_He takes a few towels out._

__

_"You have to put very cold water on it and then apply this." Yun explains, giving his brother a little hydrating cream tube._

_"You really are a professionnal nurse now, aren't you ?" Kihyun winks at him._

_"I wish I hadn't to bandage you this often though !" Yun protests before getting out of the bathroom._

_"Thank you, Mr.Nurse !" Kihyun shouts back with a chuckle._

_He steps in the shower and turns on the coldest temperature. He whimpers a bit as the water hits his burnt back and faces the wall with a sigh. He didn't show it in front of Yun but it really hurts like hell._

__

_Kihyun hears the bathroom door opening again, supposing it's Yun again._

_"Did you forget something, Mr.Nurse ?" he laughs from the shower cabin._

_But when the cabin opens violently, his blood runs cold. He freezes, knowing exactly what's going to happen._

_"Waiting for someone else, doll ?"_

_He feels a hot hand settling on his right shoulder, sending a disgusting chill through his whole body._

_"P..Please, don't-" Kihyun begs, but he's suddenly flipped around by his dad. His mind screams in pain as his back violently collides with the shower wall._

_When he comes face to face with the perverted man, Kihyun begins trembling._

__

_"I know you're longing for it, little slut." the older man whispers, tracing nauseating kisses along his son's jawline._

_"Let go of me, you sicko !" Kihyun protests, trying to push his father off of his naked body._

_"Oh, resisting tonight, doll ? I like that." the perverted man laughs hysterically._

_He grabs both of the young boy's hands and places them over his head brutally. Jin pushes his forearm on Kihyun's throat, blocking his air._

_"Better now, right ?" he laughs disgustingly._

_Kihyun chokes a bit before his father finally releases his throat. He caughs violently but his rest is short-lived. His dad turns on the hot water and presses himself on his naked body._

_"I thought I was disgusting earlier, so why are you doing this ?!" Kihyun protests angrily._

_"Because it's so fun breaking you, doll. You have no idea."_

_Kihyun's eyes water as he feels his father's growing erection on his thigh._

_"S..Stop, I'm begging you...I hate it, I hate you..." he begins sobbing._

_But Jin doesn't care and grabs the young man's right arm before holding him in an armlock._

_"I like it when you put on a fight like that." he laughs._

_Kihyun is focused on struggling but suddenly feels an atrociously familiar pain piercing through his body._

__

_"AH!" he screams._

_The young man's mind completely disconnects as his father is roughly pounding in him and breaking him from the inside._

_Between the laboured strikes, Kihyun can only feel pain, despair and helplessness. This body doesn't belong to him anymore, it's completely shattered and broken._

_"S..Sto..p.." he pleads._

_"Well, you know who I'll go to if I stop here, don't you ?" Jin grins._

_Yun's innocent and bright face appear in Kihyun's mind._

_"I can't let this happen. Over my dead body." he thinks to himself._

_Slowly, he stops struggling. His father releases his trembling hands and continues kissing his collar bone._

_"I thought so." he whispers in Kihyun's neck._

_He shuts his eyes, bearing with the pain on his back as his father turns him around and takes him roughly._

_He wants to scream, to resist and struggle but Yun's well-being is worth much more than his sanity or his body._

_"P..Please make it quick..." Kihyun mumbles, hot tears streaming down his cheeks._

__

_Jin grasps his hair painfully and pulls his head back before whispering to his hear._

_"Absolutely not, doll." he murmurs, piercing through his son's body violently._

"I told you to fucking stay away !" Hae-rin shouts.

Kihyun focuses again on his friend and father. He shakes his head a bit, trying to get the awful sensation of this man's hands all over his body off.

Suddenly, Shownu's voice shouts in his mind.

" _Kihyun!_ " 

The reminder that he's not alone brings him back from the edge and wakes him up from his flashback in a matter of seconds.

" _Shownu-_ " but the leader's presence disappears immediately, leaving the young man on his own again.

He turns towards his dad again but this time places himself in front of Hae-rin.

"Stay away !" he shouts.

"Oh, little dolly finally woke up ! How was it ? I bet you were thinking of me, right ?" Jin laughs.

"Shut the fuck up ! What are you doing here ?! Why aren't you in jail ?!" 

"I should never have been in jail in the first place. If it wasn't for your stupid big mouth, I wouldn't have wasted almost thirteen years of my life like that !" Jin works himself up.

"You killed Yun !" Kihyun shouts back, not believing his hears.

Hae-rin gets more and more scared of the older man as he doesn't stop walking towards them threateningly. She hides a bit behind Kihyun, still ready to jump between them if he even tries to do anything to her friend.

"He was just a small casualty. But it doesn't mean that we can't go back to the way it was before, doll." Jin calms down a bit.

"A casualty ?! He was your son !" Hae-rin exclaims, completely shocked.

"Why is she even here, doll ? How do I make her shut up ?" he asks Kihyun, looking at Hae-rin with a frown.

At that, Kihyun gets even closer to his friend, covering her with his entire body.

"Don't you even think of hurting her !" he threatens.

Jin just chuckles.

"Or what, doll ? You already couldn't do anything in the past, why even bother trying now ?" he answers playfully.

With that he takes a few steps more towards the pair.

"I fucking told you to stay where you were, asshole !" Kihyun shouts.

But suddenly, his father stops smiling and his previous grin turns into an awful angry grimace.

"Who do you think you're talking to ?!" he says seriously.

His eyes pierce right through Kihyun's self-confidence, directly to his already faltering will.

He knows this look too well and this tone of voice only means one thing ; he's seriously gonna hurt them if they don't comply _now_.

"How far are they ?!" Hyungwon asks, running out of breath.

"Do you _actually_ know where he is ?" Jooheon adds, panting.

"I don't have his exact location, Jooheon ! I just faintly feel him this way, I'm not a fucking GPS !" Shownu snaps back.

He doesn't mean to be rude towards his members but he can't bear with the fear of Kihyun getting hurt again.

Minhyuk suddenly stops running, panting heavily. 

"Minhyuk ! What the fuck are you doing ?!" Shownu almost shouts.

"It's not gonna work, Shownu ! We've been running around as fast as we can for the last fifteen minutes and we're still far from finding Kihyun ! We're just exhausting ourselves like that..." he explains.

"He's right, we've been running in circle !" Wonho adds, pointing at a nearby house they already passed twice.

Shownu tries to calm down for a few seconds.

"Guys, I'm sorry okay ? But one moment I can feel him like he's here with us and suddenly I can't sense him anymore. It's as if he's drifting on and off consciousness, completely disappearing for a while." Shownu sighs, completely desperate.

After a few silent and anxious seconds, Minhyuk bravely asks what they all want to know.

"Do you think he's injured ?" he mumbles in worry.

"I really don't know... Our connection is really faint, I feel like his mind is already overwhelmed with really bad stuff and it's hard to get through." the leader answers sadly.

"It's okay, Showu. We'll find him, but we have to find a new plan." Hyungwon places a comforting hand on their leader's shoulder.

"Why didn't this idiot take his freaking phone with him...?!" Wonho whispers to himself.

"Look, I've been thinking. It would be really surprising for someone to have followed him through the forest ; only Rosa, Hae-rin and Kihyun know the way. So they're probably near a road or a street." Jooheon adds.

"Yeah, but where...?" Changkyun whispers.

"There's only two main streets in this neighborhood. Let's divide ; Changkyun, Wonho and Jooheon you go this way and Hyungwon, Minhyuk and I will go the other. You all have your phone with you, if anyone sees anything, text me." Shownu instructs seriously.

They all nod and start running in their different directions again.

Jin is now only a few steps from the two scared friends.

"Who did this to you, doll ?" he asks, pointing at his bruised face.

But Kihyun doesn't answer. He knows that the informations he'll give about his private life will then be used by his dad to set him off and he can't have that now. Not when he has Hae-rin to protect too.

"One of your fucking friends, asshole !" the young woman shouts.

"Oh, one of my friend ? Then I'll have to scold him for playing with my personal toy." the older man pouts.

But Kihyun has had enough of his sick little game.

"It didn't seem too personal, you never minded sharing in the past." Kihyun retorts coldly.

Hae-rin is impressed by her friend standing up to his father like that but also shocked that he accepted being called a toy so easily. He didn't even bat an eye, as if it was just common knowledge that he was just a toy to play with.

Jin smiles even brighter at his son's words.

"You're right, doll. I shouldn't be so childish and let the others play with you as well, but I'll have to show him how to do it correctly. You're still standing, something must be wrong with his methods." the older man says playfully.

"Shut the fuck up ! Why are you here ?! How did you get out of jail ?!" Kihyun tries his best not to let his dad's words get to him.

"Oh, you didn't know ? I was released for good behavior. It's called remission, got me out of there two years and seven months earlier." Jin answers proudly.

"R..Released...?" Kihyun mumbles.

He can't believe this. His dad is legally out. Kihyun has feared this exact moment since the day he was sent to jail and now he's out.

"Yeah, I behaved really well in prison you know." the older man is now only a few centimeters from Kihyun's trembling body.

He places his head just in front of his right hear and whispers.

"I didn't even fuck anyone there, reserved myself for your intoxicating little hole." he murmurs in his hear.

Kihyun's heart skips a bit, the threat freezing his entire body.

_"Kihyun ? Are you done with your shower ? How's your back ?" Yun knocks on the closed door._

_When his brother doesn't answer, he pushes the door carefully. The young boy is surprised to see so much steam inside, Kihyun was supposed to take a cold shower not a hot bath._

_"Ki..?" he asks, entering the quiet room._

_He only hears little whimpers coming from the inside of the shower cabin. Yun takes a few steps towards the trembling figure on the floor._

_He opens the shower cabin's door nervously and his heart breaks at the sight._

__

_"Kihyun !" the younger boy kneels in front of him._

_But when he touches his brother's shivering shoulder, Kihyun stumbles away with a shout._

_"N..No more, p..please..." he whispers in panic._

_Yun can't believe it happened again..._

_"Kihyun, it's just me. It's Yun, no need to be afraid." he mumbles, trying to calm his traumatized brother down._

_Slowly, Kihyun starts coming back to his senses and looks at his sibling with broken eyes._

_"Y..Yun.." he sobs quietly, trying to make as little noise as possible._

_"Shhh, I'm here. It's over, I'm here." Yun whispers, hugging him tightly._

_"I'm sorry, Yun...I'm s..so sorry..." Kihyun continues crying heavily._

_"It's not your fault, Ki. Please don't blame yourself." the young boy soothes him._

_They spend a few minutes on the floor, hugging each other. When Kihyun is calm enough, Yun lets go of him._

_"Come on, let's get you out of this forsaken shower." he helps his older brother up but Kihyun can't stand on his trembling legs._

_Yun sits him on the side when suddenly Kihyun grabs the bottom of his brother's shirt painfully._

_"P..Please turn off the l..lights, Yun. I can't s..stand my own reflection..." he whispers, sobbing at his sight in the mirror._

_Yun nods, switches the lights off and runs to his room to get some painkillers and clean clothes. When he comes back to the bathroom, Kihyun is still crying quietly with his hands on his throbing head._

__

_"Come on, Ki." Yun says softly, taking his hands off his face._

_But Kihyun struggles a bit._

_"P..Please don't touch me. Just g..give me a few minutes..." he answers sadly._

_Yun doesn't reply, he just looks at his brother worriedly._

_"Dad again ?" the younger boy whispers softly._

_Kihyun just nods, unable to form full sentences right now._

_"I'll kill him, one day. I swear to God, Kihyun, I'll kill him." Yun gets mad but he knows that saying this won't help his brother._

_They stay in a heavy silence for a few minutes, Kihyun's little sobs breaking though the tense stillness._

__

_"Y..You'll make it out of here alive, Ki. You promised me..." Yun mumbles, trying not to cry._

_"I don't know anymore..." Kihyun thinks._

Tempo's loud bark takes him out of his daze. The dog clearly senses that something bad is going on and suddenly bites Jin's leg.

The older man kicks him off before hitting him violently with his foot.

"Shut up, stupid dog !" he shouts while Tempo whines painfully.

"Tempo !"

Kihyun can't take the awful scene and pushes his father off the injured dog with a shout.

"Leave him alone, bastard !" he yells.

Hae-rin covers her mouth with her hands, fearing Jin's reaction.

Kihyun kneels in front of Tempo.

But his concern is quickly replaced by fear when he sees the older man taking a few steps back before grabbing his hand. He armlocks him the way he always did.

"You should be worried about yourself, slut." Jin says angrily.

"Let him go !" Hae-rin charges at him, setting her friend free from his father.

Kihyun's mind is full of memories and awful flashback, he's been manhandled by this man so many time and it always resulted in unbearable pain.

He shakes his head, forcing himself to stay in the present time without slipping into his childhood flashbacks like he did earlier.

"What do you fucking want ?!" Kihyun shouts at his father.

"What I want ? I want you, doll. You've always been at the center of my thoughts." 

"I won't go with you, why can't you understand that I just want you to fucking leave me alone ?!" 

"I know that you've been trying to convince yourself that you want me gone only to make it more tolarable but deep down, you loved it." Jin answers with a suggestive glare.

"You wanna know how I felt and still feel deep down, dad ?! I _hate_ you ! Every time you touched me with your disgusting hands, I just wanted to kill myself only to make sure you'll never have the pleasure of abusing me ever again !" 

Jin takes his words seriously and stops playing games.

"Shut up, whore !"

"No ! I won't shut up anymore ! You killed the only leverage you had over me when you threw Yun's dead body in this fucking lake ! I won't be your little fuck boy anymore, I'm done with your shit !" Kihyun shouts.

Hae-rin knows that she should stop her friend before he goes too far but Kihyun has been waiting for this moment for his whole life.

"I'm your father and master, now show the respect you owe me !" Jin yells.

"A father ?! You ?! Ever since mom died, you've been nothing but a torturer, a rapist and a fucking murderer !" Kihyun answers furiously.

At this, Jin loses it and slaps his son violently before pulling a gun out of his back pocket.

He looks at the younger man with disgust and points at him.

"Now, you're gonna _behave_ Kihyun." he says threateningly.

"Guys ! I sensed him really strongly this way !" Shownu shouts on the phone to his fellow members.

"We'll catch up with you as soon as we can !" Jooheon answers nervously.

" _Please, be okay Ki. I can't lose you, not now !_ " Shownu thinks to himself, running towards a large road with Minhyuk and Hyungwon.

It's really rare for his father to use his full name and not some disgusting and degrading nicknames. Kihyun knows that this is extremely serious and that the older man won't hesitate to shoot if needed.

"Or what, you're gonna murder me too ? After everything you did to finally find me, even _reserving_ yourself in prison, you're just gonna kill me ? Stop joking please." he answers.

Hae-rin looks at her friend with a frown. She knows that Kihyun of all people understands how dangerous this man can be, so why is he still provoking his dad like that ? This kind of self-destructive behavior doesn't look like Kihyun, does it ?

Of course it does...Rosa told her once about Kihyun's state when Yun died and how he couldn't find a reason to live anymore. Meeting with his dad probably triggered this kind of behavior and now he just doesn't care anymore.

" _I have to do something._ " Hae-rin thinks.

She jumps in front of Kihyun, placing herself between Jin and her friend.

"Rin ?! Move, you have no idea about what he's capable of !" Kihyun tells her nervously.

"Even if I don't, your life isn't worth less than mine ! I told you I'd protect you from him." she states seriously.

Jin looks at the pair with tired eyes. 

"Really, you're gonna play hero ?" the older man sighs, still pointing his gun at the two friends.

"You won't hurt Kihyun anymore !" Hae-rin answers angrily.

At this Jin laughs a bit.

"You're serious ! You really think that you can protect someone like him ?"

Kihyun freezes up, he hates the current situation and truely doesn't want his father to describe what _someone like him_ really means.

"But let me tell you something, little girl. You can't protect someone who's already _broken_."

Those words completely shatter Kihyun's self-confidence. He still wants to stand up to his father, but the reminder of how broken he really is shakes him to the core.

He can yell at his dad all he wants, all the screams in the world won't be enough to fill the void that this man digged years after years deep inside of him.

"You can't protect his body because I already own it from the inside and tore it apart. You can't protect his mind because he'll never get me out of his most terrifying nightmares." Jin looks at his son's teary eyes, he just loves how easy this boy's self-esteem is to break.

"S..Shut up.." Kihyun begs, losing his fighting spirit gradually.

"You have no idea about what he did with those men in the basement and believe me you wouldn't try to uselessly protect him if you did." Jin tells Hae-rin with a grin.

The young woman stays focused and doesn't let his disgusting words get to her, but she feels Kihyun slowly panicking behind her.

"He sucked them, rode them and let them fuck him senseless. And you wanna protect a whore like him ? What's the point in protecting a toy who's only purpose is to satisfy men's fantasies, as if he meant anything ?" Jin laughs a bit.

"S..Stop it.." Kihyun mumbles, panic taking over his body at the description of his past.

"I don't give a shit about what you _forced_ him to do or to endure ! He's not just a toy, he's a wonderful young man with a bright future !" Hae-rin argues angrily.

"A bright future ? Ahahaha ! His only future is by my side, entertaining and pleasuring me."

Kihyun closes his eyes, hating the only prospect of being used like that ever again.

"You're wrong ! He has find his purpose in life and he's not alone anymore !" Hae-rin answers furiously.

Jin's gun is still strictly pointed at the two friends.

"Oh, you're refering to those pitiful little boys he calls _friends_ ?" he smiles.

Kihyun's eyes shoot open, alarmed by his father knowing about MonstaX.

"Don't worry, they won't bother him anymore. He's got nothing and no one except for me." the older man laughs.

"What do you mean they won't bother him anymore...?" Hae-rin asks with a trembling voice.

"What did you do to them, monster ?!" Kihyun shouts from behind his friend.

"Oh don't worry, I didn't touch them... _yet_. You see, I'm not an idiot. I figured that you wouldn't be really thrilled to see me and to come with me today. And since I unfortunately lost Yun's leverage, I needed another pressure tactic." the older man explains calmly.

"W..What are you talking about...?" Hae-rin fears for the crew she now cares for.

"The young talkative one is very keen on you, doll. Minhyuk, right ? His scream is almost as high pitched as yours, I really like it." Jin adresses his son with an evil grin.

At the mention of his bestfriend's name, Kihyun snaps. All those emotions, the pressure he's under and the thought of his friends hurting is too much for him. He feels like his brain is gonna explode.

"Stop fucking with my head, bastard." Kihyun mumbles, grabing his throbing head in his hands.

"Oh, don't worry. Soon it won't be your head I'll be fucking, doll." 

Kihyun knows what his father is capable of only to make sure he'll never run away again, and hurting his friends is totally within his grasp.

"Oh and the big muscular guy must be your new master, right ? I really don't like you giving yourself to another man." Jin goes on.

Kihyun is disgusted by those words. He would never _give himself_ to anyone else ever and imagining their leader being capable of such atrocities sends chills in his whole body.

"Shownu..." he whispers, now understanding that his dad is telling the truth and that he won't hesitate to hurt them if he doesn't comply.

"What do you plan on doing to them ?!" Hae-rin shouts.

Jin looks at her again with a sigh.

"This." he answers coldly.

The older man suddenly shoots Hae-rin in the shoulder.

"Rin !" Kihyun yells.

The young woman falls on the floor, bleeding heavily and panting from the pain shouting through her right shoulder.

She looks at Kihyun with terrified eyes.

"K..Ki.." she whispers.

"Rin, stay with me...It's gonna be okay, I'm gonna take you to the hospital. Don't worry, just stay with me !" Kihyun cries, kneeling in front of his injured friend.

Jin looks at them with uninterested eyes.

"D..Don't g..go with him K..Kihyun.." Hae-rin murmurs before fainting.

"No ! Rin, Hae-rin ! Wake up, please wake up !" Kihyun sobs frantically, hugging his childhood friend tightly.

"Are you done ?" Jin asks tiredly.

Kihyun looks back at him angrily.

"Why did you shoot her ?! She's only an outsider, she had nothing to do with this !" the younger man shouts.

"She was a distraction, now you can completely focus on me, doll." Jin smiles, kneeling in front of his son.

"Fuck off !" Kihyun yells.

But Jin grabs his hand.

"You're coming with me Kihyun, _now_." he tells him seriously.

The younger boy curls a little bit more on himself at the harsh tone.

"Now that it's only us two, you're gonna stop your little show and behave like I taught you to, am I clear ?!" his father says, placing the gun threateningly on his son's temple.

Kihyun looks at him with tearful determined eyes.

"Do it. Shoot me, at least I'll never have to deal with psychos like you." he cries.

"You really wanna die, boy ?" 

"I don't fucking care anymore. If it can keep you away from the people I love, I won't hesitate to kill myself." Kihyun answers seriously.

"I prefer this desperate version of yourself, doll. But don't forget that I still have your friends."

Kihyun gulps at that.

"I could kill you and then use them as I please if you want." Jin adds.

The singer doesn't answer, too horrified by the thought of his friends suffering the same torture he did during his whole childhood.

"Actually, the choice is very simple, doll. Either you come with me or let all your friends suffer the same fate."

The older man gestures at Hae-rin's still and bleeding body.

"No ! No, please don't hurt them. I'll do anything, just...don't hurt my friends." the young man panics.

Jin lifts him up by the arm.

"I'm a man of my word, come with me and I'll let them go." Jin says seriously.

Kihyun watches his already injured friend on the ground.

Even with all the atrocities his father put him through, he'd never touched Yun, as promised.

Maybe, he can finally save someone this time. Maybe if he bears with it just a little while longer, his friends will be safe. He's endured it for his whole childhood, what else does he still have to lose ?

Kihyun nods weakly, following his father to the car. Tears stream down his face, already dreading what's coming for him.

But as he's about to get in the car, he hears a loud shout.

"KIHYUN !" Shownu calls from afar.

The singer turns with a fright.

"Shownu, guys !" he screams, seeing three of his friends running towards them.

Kihyun turns to his father with an angry frown.

"You lied to me !" he tries to run away.

Jin loses his patience and grabs him by the collar before placing the gun on his son's temple again. He looks at the three running boy angrily.

They stop a few meters away from the pair, panting heavily.

"Let go of him, bastard !" Minhyuk yells.

"If you take even one step forward, I'll blow his fucking brain up." Jin threatens.

He hadn't planned for those idiots to suddenly storm in like that.

Shownu looks at the man he's gradually loving more and more with horrified eyes. He can't risk Kihyun's safety but he'll never let this man take him away either.

"S..Shownu..." Kihyun cries, trembling under his father's grasp.

"Where are you taking him ?!" Hyungwon asks with a frown.

"None of your fucking business." Jin answers coldly.

Kihyun struggles and tries to set free from his dad's tight hold.

"You keep fighting like this and I'll kill each of them right now !" the older man shouts at his son.

Nobody dares to move anymore, watching Jin with angry threatening eyes. Shownu takes in Hae-rin and Tempo's states, understanding how violent this man truely is. He'll kill them all with a straight face if they make even the smallest mistake.

Minhyuk starts sobbing silently, the pressure being too much for his nerves.

The older man knows that he has the advantage and decides to enjoy it for a while.

"So you're the famous Shownu, huh ? I know you want to fuck this toy too, but let me tell you this ; he's mine and mine _only_." 

Jin approaches Kihyun's shivering face. The young man closes his eyes, mentally begging his friends to help him.

" _S..Shownu..Please..h..help..._ " he sobs painfully.

His father slowly licks his left cheek with a disgusting grin while watching the young leader.

Shownu can't take the sight of this man playing with the one he loves, but with this gun pointed at his head, there's nothing he can do...

"Now, we're gonna go our own way. If you even _think_ of following us, I kill him." Jin says threateningly.

Minhyuk cries more and more while Hyungwon can't take his eyes off his frightened friend.

"If you call the police or warn anybody, I also kill him. Got it ?" 

Shownu thinks for a second before nodding with a sad and devasted look.

Jin smiles widely and pushes the young singer in the car.

"N..No ! Shownu, please..!" Kihyun yells.

The leader looks back and forth between Hae-rin's bleeding shoulder and Kihyun's desperate state. He deeply wants to just kill the man threatening to hurt Kihyun but Hae-rin needs help, now.

" _We'll find you, Ki. I promise, we'll come for you._ " Shownu answers in his head.

" _No, please..Don't let him t..take me...Don't leave me.._ " the singer pleads mentally.

" _I'm not leaving you, love. But I can't risk him killing you, I..I'm so sorry..._ " 

"P..Please..." Kihyun cries out loud, hitting the window weakly.

"Shut up, whore !" Jin turns to his son and punches him violently, knocking him down. 

"Kihyun !" Minhyuk cries out.

The older man turns at the three horrified friends again.

"Stay where you are, don't follow us." he orders, getting in the car and driving off.

"KIHYUN !" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter ?
> 
> What do you think is gonna happen next ?
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comment section !
> 
> Love you all !
> 
> Elina


	17. Is it the end of this fanfic ?

Hello Monbebe,

Im writing today because I wonder about the future of this fanfiction. I don't know if I'll be able to continue writing this story, let me explain. 

After I posted last chapter, I recieved really hateful messages of people telling me that I should be ashamed of myself because I'm poorly writing about very sensitive matters. They told me that I was disrespecting rape and abuse victims as well as the whole MonstaX fandom with my story.

These haters also insulted me because I was talking about rape and abuse without even having experienced it and that I had no right to write such atrocities.  
Trying to have a constructive and mature discussion with them, I explained gently that I unfortunately knew exactly what I was talking about, being a victim of sexual abuse myself.

But at that, those bullies completely changed and began sending me awful messages to make me feel bad about myself and my past. They called me slut and whore and even recorded disgusting vocals of themselves panting as if they were having sex...

I really love this story and I put my heart in writing it for you all. I really dont want to give up but I really don't know if I'm strong enough to take all this hate. A few people disliking constructively the story is completely fine, but when some guys text me to tell me that, seeing how disgusting I am, I should just kill myself already, I just can't...

To the guys who are doing this to me, I suppose you are also reading this note since you apparently are following the story.  
PLEASE STOP THIS SICK GAME !  
You have no idea how your words hurt people so Im asking, begging you to just stop harrassing me like you are doing right now.

I don't know who you are and what happened in your life for you to turn out to be someone who blames rape victims, tells her that she deserved it and all sorts of atrocities. But please get help, for I'm sure that you're hurting, badly. 

In the meantime, I'm begging you to please stop hurting me this. You're attacking me on something that I spent years healing from and your disgrading insults are really pushing me into a state that I really don't want to ever experience again.

I never meant for this story to take such a hold on my life but here I am, completely breaking because of its repercussions...

So tell me if I still should continue this fanfiction or just completely give up.

Either way, just know that I love you all so much, that I'll be eternally grateful for all the love and support you showed for this story and that I'm deeply sorry for all the troubles I caused.

Love you Monbebe ❤


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